KarenK

It's funny. My hair looks Ash Blonde(probably more ash than blonde), a look that I tried to achieve back in my 20's using Roux color rinse that washed out easily. I had white blonde hair until probably my 40's or 50's. Then it went medium blonde. What am I complaining about? At least I have hair. My eyebrows are still blonde. I've always used gray eyebrow pencil. Brown didn't look right. I've rarely worn makeup at all in the last 10 years. It's hard to do eyebrows when your hand shakes. Kay, your photo is lovely. Ron always complimented me on my appearance. Would hope he would view me with his heart and not his eyes now.

I've worn only cheap reading glasses for years. Used to wear driving glasses about 25 years ago. When they no longer worked, I just never bothered to get a stronger prescription. I couldn't see perfect, but good enough to get around without being dangerous. Over the years it just got worse especially with the cataracts. Near the end of March, the doctor will check my distance vision. I have a feeling I might still need glasses. It's hard to tell with only one good eye. I definitely see the tv better with the good eye. For sure, I will still need the reading glasses. I've never had progressives. I did try bifocals many years ago. They gave me such headaches that I couldn't wear them. Your description of your happy family is so poignant. If only we could all go back in time and relive those happy times. I hope your doctor will be able to keep you in rehab until you feel confident to leave. How is the situation going with Dee to possibly stay with you for a while?

Before the cataract surgery, the doctor mentioned that I should see things a lot better afterward. I remember jokingly saying that I hoped I liked what I saw. It turned out not to be a joke. I have been blonde my whole life and still am through my "old" eye. In reality, through my "new" eye, I am completely gray! What a shock and a letdown. lol Makes me wonder how long I've been this old woman!

Can barely see, but wanted to let everyone know that surgery went okay, I guess. Just a few twinges of pain during surgery. A million drops of different things in eye before, during, and after. Surgery around 3 and I was on my way home by 4:30. Eye still dilated 12 hours later. It takes forever for things like dilation and novocaine(for teeth) to clear my system. Very disorienting as I am seeing different colors through each eye. Right now everything is really blurry in both eyes. Blur may last several weeks in surgical eye. Have a post op appt. tomorrow. A downer that I can barely read my Kindle books as that's my constant activity. Other eye to be done in 2 weeks so will be sometime in April before I know how successful this is. I'm so sorry about your necklace, Gwen. I don't remember you mentioning that before. Is there liability on the hospital or did they blow it off? I know monetary could never replace the sentimentality. With my mistrust of people, I removed all my credit cards and money from my wallet and wore no jewelry to the surgical center not knowing how loopy I would get there. Glad you got a card and chocolate for Valentines. Guess I got a new eye for my "present". lol Take care

I lost my confidence to drive after my freaky double vision problem last year. It still crops up every so often. Have been watching the Olympics Figure Skating and notice if I don't look straight at the TV, I see double skaters when there is only one. I'm sure hoping these surgeries will correct that. Would have been nice to have corrected vision before the Olympics. I sure admire the tenacity and talent of all the athletes. Am hoping I can drive again. Still have nowhere to go, but at least my son won't have to drive me places.

Good to hear from you Dee. I guess the one saving grace of being poor is not having to file taxes. My only income is SS. I file a state return to get a refund for my real estate tax. I know tax laws constantly change, but it used to be if you were a certain age, you could sell one home and not take a hit. Glad you got things taken care of. I know you're trailing me with your own surgery so wanted to keep you up to date. The pre op appt. was measuring eyes on 3 different machines and getting drops to use before and after surgery. Both eyes measured so will skip that part at the second pre op. I don't have any major eye problems so yours may be a bit different with your macular problem. Insurance covers everything except the drops(2 bottles @ $86 per bottle). Ouch! I've learned to live with the dizziness. I just sit down or bend over until it passes. Since I rarely leave the house, it's not a big problem. Hope it doesn't happen at the surgery center as Robert can't go inside with me. Will update you again when I can.

Gwen, I will still have hope for you that more straightening will come in time. I'm glad you and Dee are working things out. It is difficult to make new friendships as we get older, it seems. I gave up on so called friendships a long time ago. Got tired of being stabbed in the back. Wondering where our Dee is. Have not heard from her in a while. I will be having my first cataract surgery tomorrow, so everyone wish me luck. I'm feeling a bit antsy and dreading not being able to eat after 7am, surgery at 3pm. My dizziness gets worse when I don't eat. I'll tough it out.

Gwen, I understand your aversion to the pain meds. It's similar to how I would feel if I was told that I needed to go into a casino. We always wonder if we are strong enough to resist the temptation. Those who have never been addicted to something don't understand. I think PT is just being cautious because of all you've been through. Although it's frustrating, it's probably in your best interest. I am disappointed for you in the attitude of the aides. Helping patients is why they are there! Have you had a chance to talk to Dee yet about staying with you for a while after you're released?

Word salads are good, Marg. Put in whatever suits your fancy. Sometimes it helps just to put it all down on "paper". Love to you too.

I can sure understand wanting to feel a sense of accomplishment of something meaningful. For now though, you definitely have a reason to be limited. For me, I just hate that something as mundane as vacuuming is now in the meaningful category. It is what it is😐

Gwen, I was a perfectionist for most of my life. When I wanted something done, I wanted it done NOW. If I had chores to do, I would do every last one before sitting down. Now age and health dictate what I'm able to accomplish. It took a lot to accept that things can't be perfectly clean, perfectly organized and that routines can be altered without the world ending. As I look back over the years, I can see that by being so rigid and impatient, I was only harming myself. When I was very young and married for the first time, my sweet little MIL used to laugh at my list of weekend chores I taped to the fridge. It took me a lot of years to realize just how unimportant those lists were. As you said, pay attention to the pain. It's telling you to stop or slow down.

V, I remember many summers of cutting firewood for our cabin before Ron became disabled. Hard work mixed with fun times. Broke my heart to sell the place after he died. So many memories. Gwen, glad you got positive feedback from the surgeon's office. Although progress seems slow to you, it sounds like you're on track. Just don't overdo it. Hope all goes well with you staying where you are.

This is a song that says it all. "Where Do I Put Her Memory" by Charley Pride. It's on youtube, but I don't know how to put it here. Maybe someone could.

Gwen, I would be very concerned about healing stooped over. When can you talk to the surgeon about it? I assume it has a lot to do with your muscles needing to be strengthened. So sorry about the financial worry. It seems we pay high premiums, yet still get slammed in the end.

How awful for you, Kay! I can relate to frIghtening nightmares, having had my share of them over the years, the kind that leave you shaken all day. Unfortunately, I know where they came from. Some nightmares stay with a person forever. When I was a small child, I would dream there was a witch crouched in my closet. I'd wake up screaming. Shades of Wizard Of Oz, I guess. I would not sleep with the closet door open and didn't until I married Ron. I guess I thought he would protect me and he did for a time, until he became the witch in the closet, but that's my cross to bear. Life Is cruel sometimes.

Most all my favorite country singers are dead. I was watching some YouTube stuff of the Traveling Wilburys. Dylan didn't mumble in that group. Maybe he had to get stoned to sing solo? I find the oddest things there. Just found a song by the Gatlin Brothers, Roy Orbison, and Barry Gibb. Strange combo. There's a song on the music channel with Dylan and Johnny Cash. Really strange to me.

James, That one made me smile. I used to win a lot of concert tickets. The craziest one we went to was Aerosmith. That was an experience. Not exactly his cup of tea. Don't think he thought much of Kitaro either(one of my favorites). He always went along willingly though. He got back at me with Bluegrass. Some of that is too twangy even for this country girl.

I wasn't familiar with Roxette so checked them out on youtube. Found I had heard some of their stuff before. A good group, for sure.

Gwen, I really don't get this surgeon's office. You'd think they would be bending over backward to accommodate your needs, especially since he botched the first surgery. Hope he reads the X-Ray right away. What is the logic of a shorter walker? I thought the goal was to be able to walk more upright, not bent over.

Either I'm losing my mind or posts are showing up that didn't appear to me before. I hadn't seen the one referring to the X-Ray tech and the hard board. There was only a short post about x rays being set up and hoping it wasn't a setback. That post is gone now???? Anyway, I'm glad the X-Ray nightmare is over. Hope no trouble is found!!!

Gwen, I must have missed something. What setback are you referring to? Hope everything is okay.

I don't remember feeling dizzy, just sort of off kilter like I was tilted. For all I know, I probably then tripped over my own 2 feet. lol Sitting gingerly today and no leaning back on my tailbone. My grandson screams at me when I fall because I hate to ask for help with anything. I think he's more scared than angry, although he would never admit it. I think he's afraid of losing me to something serious. I am the closest thing to a mom he's ever had. Will tackle the insurance thing again tomorrow. Don't feel like it today. Gwen, so sorry your pain is worse. There just has to be a turning things around point. IMO, take the pain meds for as much comfort as possible. The more rest you get, the faster healing will be, less need for the drugs.

This has not been a good day. I spent 2 hours on hold trying to get in touch with the new plan administrator for my health insurance reimbursement account provided by my employer upon retirement. Evidently the new administrator did not carry over my banking info for direct deposit. I finally gave up as I had a massive headache by then. Tonight I put some leftovers in the dog dishes. Not sure what happened, but when I stood up, I lost my balance. I literally went reeling backward across the room to keep from falling. I finally slammed into a set of shelves and fell hard on my tailbone. Having a hard time walking and sitting for sure. Hope tomorrow is a better day.

Kevin, I cannot even imagine your temperatures. I would be a popsicle. We are in the 70's here in Az. Of course, the tradeoff is your beautiful scenery. Stay warm!

During this discussion, I looked over at our family photos that are displayed. There is one each of Ron and Debbie, taken after cancer had ravaged them. You can almost see death hovering in the background. Those are hard to look at. Then I discovered I had unintentionally placed a happy photo of each of them next to the sad ones. Somehow those soften the blow. I don't know if that makes sense, but they are all a part of the life we lived together. As hard as it is, I have adapted to it.