KarenK

This may sound stupid and I don't know if men think about this, but being a woman, I'd almost be afraid to go out with a stranger. I'm not near as strong and fast as I used to be and what if he turned out to be a serial killer or rapist. To be truthful, I'm not real good at reading people. Ron was, but I kind of take people at face value. I watch and read way to many crime stories, I guess. Good thing I'm not really interested. I definitely wouldn't want to live with someone new.

Ginger Snaps are supposed to help nausea. The BRAT diet(bananas-rice -applesause) for diarrhea. Hope that lets up soon, Gwen.

Fate is a funny thing, Nash. I've told this before, but I met Ron sitting at a stoplight on the way to a friend's house. He looked over and asked me if I wanted to go for a drink. I told him no. Then I did something I'd NEVER done before and definitely wouldn't do in this day and age. After all, he was kind of cute and had a hot car so I asked him if he wanted to follow us to a club and go dancing. For some reason, I gave him my real name and #, which I never did. We went out twice. The second time he came home with me and stayed for 41 years. We married 2 months later knowing very little about one another. Very different personalities and backgrounds, through many ups and downs, we managed to stay together all those years. He taught me about life and love and there's very few things about those years I would change. In my heart, I knew he was a good man. One of a kind.

I had a very strong bond with my father, at times almost like an ESP. In 1977, he suffered an abdominal aneurysm. As I walked beside the gurney to the ambulance holding his hand, I said "I'm right here, daddy". He replied "I know you are". Those were the last words he ever spoke. I dreamed of him frequently. We would have conversations. At some point he would say "You know I can't stay" and I would tell him I knew. I wasn't unbearably sad because I knew he'd return. Those dreams were so real, I'd swear he was standing at the end of the bed. It's funny, but I don't recall talking much with my mother about his death, but I know she was crushed and like so many of us, thought she could run from the deadly silence of the house. I remember her taking a lot of trips to visit relatives around the country and one trip to Europe. After Ron died, I felt ashamed that I never really talked to her about how she felt. At his death, it was all about "me". He was my father. I never thought about the fact he was her husband until it happened to me. I didn't dream of Ron for a long time. Then when I finally did, he was angry, a demeanor he exhibited toward me during many years of our life together. Finally that anger is gone. In dreams I have of him now, we seem to be more like the couple we were when we married. Maybe he is finally at peace now. As far as signs of his presence or that he's watching over me, that's never happened. I'm old enough to be your mother, Nash and like Gwen, I'm not dead. I just don't have the energy or desire to do it all over again. Besides, I can't fathom going out with a 75-80 year old man. 😄

Luv Ya Marg! We can't be all things to all people all the time. Your family will understand. You know how much they love you. Xmas will never be as "merry" as it once was. We just do the best we can.

Had to stay upright, Kay. Doubt I could get up off the floor right now. lol Plus, as always "I'm the Mom". Had a bit of "sad" last night after wrapping the meager gifts and putting them under the tree. As with every year now, it brings the memories of huge trees with a multitude of gifts, and the cassette tape of Ron and Robert from Xmas circa 1985. Ron was a good father and taught both kids life skills with love. "And this too shall pass"

Because our winters are mild, I'm sure there are a lot of them in Phoenix but I've seen no problems in the local news. I only venture into Phoenix when I absolutely have to go to the doctor. Spent most of my 40 working years downtown. That was enough. So far I'm "holding my own", Kay. Drinking cranberry juice, extra water, less coffee. The reason I think it's a UTI is because I have to hit the bathroom every hour. If I don't, my back hurts worse. I started having these a couple of years ago and the microscopic blood in my urine. Saw a urologist and the procedure he wanted to do in the office sounded awful. I'm a big chicken and never went back. I have a dozen leftover Amoxicillin I started taking which might help a little. This is combined with hurting my back last Friday. I'm bending over and picking up heavy things as little as possible. Thank goodness for the heating pad. Old age strikes again!

It's been an exciting morning so far. My grandson burned his finger with a lighter, jumped up to run to the hall bathroom to run cold water on it....guess he got up too fast and when he reached the sink, he passed out hitting his head on the counter. My son and I were in the kitchen and heard a yell and a thud. When we got there, he was laying on the floor stunned, a small scrape near his eye. After a bit, he managed to sit up. I went for a cold rag and my bp monitor. He tried to stand and his legs gave out. My son was in a panic and when he stood, dizziness and instant sweating put him on the hallway floor. Off I went for another cold rag. His stomach kicked in and he managed to get up and headed for the second bathroom through my bedroom. Dark in there and just as I yelled to watch out for the Xmas storage boxes on the floor, he tripped over one. Managed not fall. My grandson finally managed to make it to his feet and to the couch in my son's room. Everyone is okay now. Life is chaotic around here at times, but this was a little much.

Gwen, I'm also only seeing a D in her post?????

Marg, it is a pleasure and a privilege to know you. You have brightened my darkest days. Take care and please return if possible. Karen

No pain in legs or feet, just very low in back. Just for smiles and grins, constipation from extra pain med and a possible UTI are contributing to make a very stiff old lady. When I was young, the thought of growing old and creaky never entered my mind. The mirror is distorted. That can't possibly be me.

I get a Medicare EOB about every 3 mo. I have no copays at all except small ones for meds thru Humana. If a script copay is more than $10, I choose not to get it unless it pertains to "life threatening" which I haven't had to experience. Got a letter today from my dermatologist. Have been with him at least 25 yrs...1 visit a year. He's retiring finally. He's about my age. Not someone to miss as he's never been Mr. Warm & Caring. Will try out his replacement in Jan. I have a tiny taste of your pain. Hurt my back unloading groceries on Fri. Walking around like an old lady now.

I beat you today, Kay. Up at 2, but I'd gone to bed at 8. No set schedule. I just sleep whenever. It's no wonder everything medical has become so problematic. I was glancing through my latest Medicare statement that explains each charge. My doctor charges 1 cent to file paperwork, 1 cent for systolic BP, 1 cent for diastolic BP. How ridiculous can you get???

Kay, I remember one Xmas when Ron had driven up to the Cameron Trading Post on the Navajo reservation and hired a silversmith to create a silver cuff bracelet for me with 4 little wolves in gold overlay circling it. This was long before the internet and online ordering. He had to drive back up a few weeks later to inspect the craftsmanship and complete the purchase. A definite surprise that Xmas and one of my "good" memorie!s.

I can't say enough nice things about Hospice Of The Valley here. We became involved with them the day Ron was sent home to die. A nurse was by his side as soon as we arrived home in the ambulance and took care of him until his final breath. I can't say any nice things about the hospice in Kentucky where Debbie died. They might have been suited to provide care for the Humane Society. For sure, not humans. Their response time was terrible. Estimation time of death was off by 3 weeks. Worst of all, when it was apparent her time was near, I called to ask if someone could come out to be with her. Their response was "Oh no, we don"t do that. Just call us back when she's dead and then we'll come out and call the mortuary". I was completely stunned. That group can kiss my a$$.

And that's as it should be, Nash, but when you have kids, it suddenly becomes "How many gifts can I fit underneath this huge tree?" Xmas should be from your heart and not your wallet, IMHO, although I've certainly done my part otherwise over the years. Did you ever see the " Little House On The Prairie" episode where Mr. Edwards fights his way through a snowstorm to get to the Ingalls for Xmas? That was Christmas.

Wish we lived in Star Trek land and I could beam you and Mel here with us. Would be chaotic but you definitely wouldn't be lonely.

Very clever, Kieron😊 Gwen, I have no idea what it was called. Somehow she just swept it all up and put it in big curls. For some reason, I thought they were called French curls, but probably not. I remember Elke Sommer in some movies with hair like that and a multitude of "babes" in the early James Bond movies, which neither category I fall into. Probably more of a 60's look. I used have a friend whose favorite saying was "And this too shall pass". Ain't it the truth?

Gwen, I thought you and the person who was helping you choose your plan had already checked out your medicine coverage and everything was covered. I know that was a major factor in choosing your plan. Did they already start changing stuff on you? I'm sorry you had such a crappy day, and you too, Dee. I remember birds flying into my daughter's floor to ceiling windows(about 20 ft.) living out in the country. A new thing for me. I had an interesting but tiring afternoon and evening. Nice though as I got to spend time with my son. We put about 100 miles on the truck driving all over the valley looking for a specific gaming system he wanted to get for his son for Xmas. He thought he'd just be able to run into our nearby Walmart and pick one up. Not so. Shelves were completely empty in several Walmart, Best Buy, Game Stop, and Target. About the 4th Target we hit, we finally found 4 in stock. Our other goal was to get a tree. Used to be tree lots all up and down the major streets. Not this year. In all that driving, didn't see a single one. Found a few dried out, crummy looking trees at a couple of Home Depots. Fortunately, the Lowe's right by the house had some nice ones. I'm partial to Grand Fir's. None available this year so we settled for a Noble Fir. Not the biggest tree, but still pretty after Robert got it decorated. I still have so much stuff, I could decorate 5 trees. lol Tatum must think she's a Xmas present. She's laying on the tree skirt as close to under the tree as she can get.

I'm older than most of you so my music goes back to Roy Rogers, Sons Of The Pioneers stuff. Wasn't into Doo-Wap. I liked Elvis and Beatles, but didn't go all crazy for them. Give me a Brooks & Dunn concert anyday. I won several concert tickets through radio stations. Always wanted to see Joan Baez, but never did. Kieron, I don't like today's music at all, even most of the Country isn't Country to me. I am into Kitaro for soothing music.

I have to laugh at the hair and glasses style. I had very long hair which required the beauty salon each week to put it up in curls. Cut it all off in 1976. It didn't mesh with 4 wheeling and wilderness hiking. lol My daughter died in 2014, a year after my husband. Both had cancer. Don't knock the 70's now....Great music....Fleetwood Mac, Eagles, Beegees, ELO, Pink Floyd and a bunch of great Country stars. I have them all. I don't have near the amount of cd's that you have(only about 250). Loved going to concerts.

I posted this a couple of years ago along with pictures of my family. Nov. 19, 1972, we were married by a JP at the very nice home of a friend. The silver champagne goblets are tarnished, but the memories remain. I think most of us were skinnier back then, Nash. For me, about 15 lbs. less and time has a way of rearranging things. My daughter wanted to make it to 50 and she did. At that point, she barely knew what world she was in. She died 11 days later. Wishing peace for you on Annette's birthday.

I don't plan to get the vaccine. I've never had a flu shot, pneumonia shot, shingles shot, mammogram, or colonoscopy. I take 2 BP meds and an aspirin every day and sleeping pills sometime. I rarely drink alcohol, smoke like a chimney, and drink a lot of coffee and 1 Coke every day. I wouldn't want to know if I was dying. It wouldn't change a thing. It's not like I have money to run out and fulfill my "bucket list"(if I had one).

It does sound like a beautiful place, Marg. Strange about the plants. I'm not a "plant" person either. I understand your need to get away. If I had the means and the energy, I'd be gone from here in a heartbeat. I still see Ron in every room, especially this one where we spent the majority of our time. It's also the room where he died. In line with your theory Gwen, I really think a lot of my early memories as well as good ones were simply stomped out and replaced with bad ones during the years of mental abuse and yelling that I lived with, even though we had good years too. It's kind of hard to erase those when there's nothing new to replace them.

Marg, one thing I draw a complete blank on is Xmas as a child. I' m sure they were wonderful as I was an only child and very spoiled. I also don't remember much of Xmas with my kids, except we always had beautiful trees and tons of presents. Over my adult years, I accumulated 38 large boxes of ornaments and expensive decorations. My favorite thing was day after Xmas shopping at high end stores. Heck, I remember flying over to San Diego one year just to shop at Seaport Village during one of our more "flush" years. lol Now, I can barely stand Xmas. I'm glad I don't have young grandchildren. I wouldn't want to ruin their special time. I'm glad your son found the fly rods. Even today, I'm crushed that we had to sell the giant gun safe and most of the guns and a lot of other things that Ron loved,, but it was a matter of survival. Unfortunately, I was in my right mind and watched it go. The thing that hurt most was my cabin. All water under the bridge now.