Widowedbysuicide

I admire your poem also.

I am hoping for hopefulness.

Holding you close to my heart and in my prayers Butch.  What an amazing little miracle your grandson is. 🙏

Thanks Kevin.  Now I'm a little more educated and I appreciate your help.

Depression and anxiety get the best of me during these times of devastation and I get quite overwhelmed with all the constant images showing the destruction.  My brain doesn't process the information in a way that I can think clearly sometimes.  The imagery brings me to where I think that this whole world is a mess and that I need to escape it.  With my husband already gone the temptation to join him is strong.  I am not at risk, I know how to help myself and I will do what it takes to reassure myself that stuff ain't that bad, especially for me.

I try not to watch the TV or see what is on Facebook as it is not possible to filter out just the 'bad' images.  I'm thankful to hear the news from Maryanne and others on here as the filter is set just right.

Take care all.

I love what you have done ❤️

Maryanne it must be incredibly stressful trying to manage with everything going on around you.  I would not have a clue of how to deal with such a massively destructive situation.

I have a cousin in Waller TX.  She doesn't reply to messanger and nothing is posted on her Facebook so I just hope she and her husband are safe.  They have dogs and horses and I worry about them even more.  Some of the posts about what is happening with pets and livestock are more than I can barely.  I think some information is intended to shock the reader and may not even be credible, I sure hope much of it is incorrect.

Take care.  I will be praying for everyone who is affected by Harvey.  How did the name come about?  I'm just curious, I know nothing about hurricanes. 👼

It has been about 20 months since my husband died.  Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday and at other times it seems like a lifetime ago.  I miss him so.  I know he isn't coming back, his death is final.  

I feel so lost and alone.  This is the first time I have lived without a parent or a partner.  I'm 60 and I don't want to be alone for the next X number of years.  But, I also don't want to meet someone and then lose them too.

My heart goes out to you @peanutbritt.  

I hope you are doing as ok as you can @Marie Lee.  I don't like that everything has to be so painful and difficult.  Sending prayers your way 👼

Hold your head high @DanyGreen.  You and your family have done nothing to reserve the treatment you describe.  I'm sorry that it is the negative energy people who seem to always spoil things.  Sending hugs and prayers your way.  👼💖

I am so excited for you Butch.  To feel that joy and the excitement of another beautiful miracle is wonderful. 👼❤️

Sometimes it's one thing right after the other.  It is so hard keeping the mask up when everything seems to kick you in the pants.

Best wishes to you Butch.

It is encouraging to read your post George.  

I'm glad that among life's crappy things you are able to find good things too. I hope the diagnosis for your father assists in the return of some clearer thinking or at least to not say everything he does think ❤️.

You sound like you are feeling physically good with your eating plan and resulting weight loss.  Good for you!!

I don't do computer talk, that is my son's job, but I'm glad you were able to solve your problem and keep your money in your pocket.  For me there doesn't seem to be enough dollars to last the month.  I do not suffer, I am learning to be more selective about spending.

Weather here on the West Coast of BC is starting to cool down and I am looking forward to some drenching rains.  Much of the northern part of province is on fire and I pray for those people and animals as I do for those caught in the flooding in Texas.  My prayers are also for all of us on this journey too.

Be well, Marita

You have such a great heart.

I hope that you are feeling better and that the weather and life improve for you, soon.

Sending big hugs and prayers for your safety.

So pleased for you all Butch.  I carry you and your family in my prayers.

Grief sure is hell.

Thinking of you and your lovely Rose Anne ❤️

I wish that your Dad could understand that you don't deserve to hear the things he is telling you.

George I think I know how you feel.  I'm sorry that your Dad is not thinking as clearly as he did in the past.  I don't know if it helps to think that it isn't really him making decisions.  

Like the loss of your darling wife, your life experiences are making you into a different person, the loss of your father's memory has made him a different person also.  I doubt he is trying to hurt you, he is seeing and hearing things that his brain is processing in a different way.  Even though you are not the Executor or the beneficiary of his home it doesn't mean you are mistrusted or unworthy.  

I think you are a loving son who is very dedicated to your father.  I wish that your father could tell you how much he loves and respects you.  You have been a great son and if he could tell you that and tell you he is proud of you I'm sure you would feel better.  If your bride was here with you she would remind you about all your great qualities and all you have done to be a loving son.  She might also tell you that your sister has not been appreciative of all you do, and that she may not be acting or speaking to your father or you with a clear conscience.

So sorry for the additional hurt you are feeling.  You haven't done anything wrong.  I know you have that kindness in your heart that is struggling with all that is happening.  ❤️

I hope you continue to do well with your eating plan and that the passage of time and a clear conscience brings you some comfort.  Prayers coming your way ? with hugs.

How wonderful he looks!  Smiling with you Butch, thank you.

❤️Thinking of you Butch and holding you in my prayers ?

I am sorry for your loss Dave.  With a great love the amount of time we have together is never enough.  How could it be when you are so incredibly in love...

19 months ago I started this journey and I feel many of the same things you describe.  The part about your Rebel Lady brought years to my heart and eyes.

❤️ I will be praying for you.

How beautiful he is.  A very precious little boy.  I am so happy for you and your family Butch.  ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

? I wish I could do something real to help you.

Great looking young man!  The scenery is very nice also ?

Kay, I feel for you.  It seems like things couldn't get much worse for you with this medical nightmare.  Your life is full of disruptions, pain, worry, and stress.  Far more than anyone should have to endure.  The lack of good sleep and pain are serious issues that I hope you will get relieved.  Your post really shows the severity of your situation both in what you say and in what you don't say.  I'm so very sorry that you are in such distress.  I wish that I could fix the medical and insurance side of your pain.  I will keep you in my prayers and hope you will find some relief soon.  I can imagine that everything is so unbearable right now.  Praying for a great outcome for you Kay.

Thank you for the birthday wishes.  The virtual cake was delightful.  Quadruple chocolate with strawberries and whipped cream mmmmm.  And NO calories, perfect!

Wishing you a happy birthday Gin.  I do know it hurts beyond words but I wish for some little bit of happiness in your day.  ?