Autumn2

Marg M. I. Too, worked in the medical field as a critical care (ICU) nurse for over 30 years and was not familiar with the term. i also looked up on Google and could not find it. I do not recall ever using or seeing such a device but in the ICU we were usually close enough to suction if needed. Interesting device for maybe areas where there is not close attention. Always learning something. Thanks for the enlightenment.

Sorry for everyones loss and some of our horrific memories of their passing. Out of curiosity what is a snog machine? I am not familar with that term.

I am big on Sepsis Alliance because my hubby died of it eleven weeks ago. Not diagnosed or treated in a timely manner. I could go on and on. I was working with Risk Management at the hospital. The gal was great and was due to send me an email outlining their plans to prevent this in future. Had not received this so called. Guess what she is no longer there and no one has filled her place as yet. I surely hope she did not lose her job because of me because she did say hospital was responsible for not following their written protocol. I saw her two weeks ago and apparently last Monday was her last day. She never alluded to leaving and took notes for the report we requested. Will be interesting to see what happens.

What do you do when kids call? They are all adults and living in different areas. See at least one of them every couple of months. Frequent calls. I am eleven weeks today. Today eleven weeks ago at this time he was alive and semi okay. Anyway sorry to ramble. They all have their own lives and set of problems. Know they miss their dad a lot. I rarely tell them how I really feel and basically lie. " I am okay, doing such and such etc" . I dont want to burden them but other than this group and a grief support meeting once a week there is no one to tell I am falling apart. What to do? What do others do?

For me, and family, we had to know just went wrong. Walked (yes walked, no assistance) into hospital at ten am. Dead at 0230. First er doc said pulmonary embolism (heart rate 139's, bp 80/50, resp rate high 20's., oxygen sat 81 percent). Pulmonary embolism not found. They then said mild pneumonia...keep him overnight for fluids an antibiotic. Also dehydrated and some signs of kidney failure. Fast forward NO IV fluids or antibiotics til seven when he was transferred from er to floor. Thirty minutes later could not breath, terrified, intubated and then they considered sepsis (he had every sign of sepsis since ten am and even the sepsis protocol flag went up at two pm...guess no one saw it, sent to cat scan and had massive MI in cat scan. Found 7mm kidney stone. No urologist or cardiologist would see him for treatment as damage too bad. Unable to transfer to another hospital as too bad. Told he would not make it thru the night. He was on pressors (to keep bp up) , atropine to keep heart rate up and was on maximum doses. I knew this was not how he wanted to live. I choose comfort measures only. He was deeply sedated. He was extubated and died two hours later. We were married 52 years on February 6th. He was my all. I miss him so.hospital had sepsis protocol but was not followed. Now working with hospital Risk Management to hopefully see something like this doesnt happen again. Not out for monetary only corrections!

I can relate. My hubby was gasping for breath as i was holding one arm and the nurse another to keep the oxygen mask on. He was then sedated and intubated. I will always remember the breathing,the fear in his eyes and i was holding him down telling himto keep the mask on. Why in hells name wasnt i saying i love you. It was the last chance i had before he died when he was aware. I will always have this deep, deep regret.

I knew things were not done correctly before my hubby died. I imediately got his medical records (all 367'pages) of them with in three days...before anything could be altered ( ot a trusting person am I)? I am currently working with the hospitals Risk Management (may bem called something different in your hospital) and they have admitted things were not done to protocol. My hubby died of septic shock related to a kidney stone.He walked into the hospital and died 17 hours later. He was not given IV fluid challengers, Or antibiotics for 9 hours. Would it have made a difference? I dont know except he walked in thinking he would be walking out with an xray or perscription but he didnt. The hospital actually has a Sepsis Protocol bUt it was not followed. All our family wants is that something like this doesnt happen agwin.We are not out for any type of settlement just correction. So far so good,but we shall see. If legal advice is needed I will go that way. I know that my finances could never equal the hospitals as far as a lawsuit so dont want that but if legal advice is needed I know it could cause them a lot of trouble...hence so far they appear to be working with us and showing us their corrective measures.

Thanks Mary. I also have our daughter's death to contend with on February 15, not to mention Valentine's death. Be glad when it is over.

Sepsis alliance is great. I will look for the bracelet. I purchased 6 car magnets from them too.

I wish to thank you all for the many thoughtful good wishes and even more importantly the wonderful understanding you all have given me. You have all been there for me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Know too, while I know our circumstances are varied we all are trying to get thru this as best we can and I am sending good wishes and hugs to all.

Today I am so hurting. Would have been our 52nd anniversary. I remember right about now we were having our celebration dinner at a nice restaurant and I remember the suit I was wearing. For the life of me I cannot remember the name of the restaurant.It was a very nice one. I looked on line to try to find it and couldnt, but then it has been 52 years. You would think i could remember the name. Today I took a balloon out to our special place, wrote him a note on it and released it. Watched it until it soared to the clouds. This has always been our special place for remembering our daughters birth and death. Now I get to go there five times a year her birthday, her death day, his birthday, his death day and our anniversary. Next week get to go again for her birthday. She would have been 44 years old. Right now I am really, really hurting. Will go to bed soon and take a sleeping pill, will have the candle lit. I dont ever want to forget this day but again I do. How can it be 52 years ago I wish I had cherished those years more.. The good thing is at my age I probably don't have to suffer as long as many of you younger ones will. Yes, I wish I were dead. No, i am not doing anything but taking an Ambien. I need to sleep and I know tonight that is not going to happen without some help. Sorry, I know we are all suffering so much.This is the one place I can pour my heart out. Our kids are great but dont need to upset them anymore than they already are. Hope tomorrow will be a better day.

My hubby was an organ donor...but they didnt want him...he died of septic shock so I can understand why. We, too, are in Arizona and while cremations were less expensive in Phoenix...there were transportation charges which came to the same amount we paid in Prescott. I guess as we get older we have dotted our i's, crossed out t's crossed and had our ducks in a row...still he died sooner than he should have based on poor diagnosis and treatment. Maybe he would have died anyway with timelt treatment but he didnt get it. Still hard for men to believe he walked into the hospital seemingly fine except for a backache...thinking he would get some muscle relaxants, etc. died 14 hours later. He had no idea he wouldnt leave there nor did I. Guess that qualifies for sudden, unexpected death.

Thank you kayc. Yes today is the day. 52 years ago...I can hardly believe it. Back then we never thought about that far ahead. Glad we didnt and only had stars in our eyes.

My hubby's cremation was $1195. plus $20.00 for certified death certificate. Maybe there were extras such as viewings, etc. my father in law was cremated but he had viewing, services,etc and it was about $6000. Obviously for the viewing etc he had to be enbalmed and made presentable for the viewing. As I recall there was even a charge for rental of the casket for the hour or so of the viewing, etc. death can be a real money making venture. My hubby and I had previously done our research and knew we wanted the bare bones minimum with a celebration of life at our home with family only. As sad as it was, it was good. The kids went thru all our photos and made a drop box presentation. Lots of laugung with the hair styles of 50 years ago. Told our kids their kids would laugh at how they look in fifty years.

Yes Marg M it was stupid, dumb, etc. but like I said what I needed. And I definitely know Green Acres. Maybe I will look for that too. It is just where I need to be right now. Any other thoughs of mindlessness that is not violent, political, romantic or sad...just maybe dull is the right word.

Thanks Marg M. I really needed something other than super Bowl which I always watched with hubby...no romance, no sadness, not today. Do like Grace and Frankie but looked for Schitts Creek...funny, dumb, stupid...perfect! What I needed today.

The people wanted to pay less for my husband's car because it needed to be"detailed". It was not dirty, stained or dented. The tires were new as we had just been on a trip. I feel quite sure the fellow helping me sell it told them why I was selling it and yet...wanted it for less (btw he was a minister). Also the ad on Craig's list said FIRM. So much for even trying to make it easier for someone suffering. As I said, I was to the point of keeping it and just going out and sitting in it. Also, this was the first of six calls received before it was deleted from Craigs List. I would never try to insult someone who cares enough to say firm to start with, let alone the circumstances. I am glad you held your ground. We all have to wwtch ourselves going thru this journey. Lots of people out there who are not so nice. When my mom was alone many years ago I remember a neighbor who tried to cheat her. She was devastated...not so much by the deed but the "good" neighbor he supposedly was. Sure miss my mOm...understand a lot more now. She had it rough as I was only 7... a long time ago. Women back then rarely worked. Fortunately my mom was a registered nurse but still I was the only kid in the neighborhood whose mom worked...but I digress. Sending ultra hugs to those mOms (and dads) who are going thru this.

Sooooo I had 52 years (february 6) together and it is still not enough. Nothing else needs to be said.

For me, it was the opposite. We lost our 31 year old daughter in a traffic accident and then my hubby 12 years later. Her death was devastating but in some ways his seems worse for when she died...I had him and we had each other.

I am sorry I responded to the earlier post. UTI and CDiff can definitely cause sepsis. Check out Sepsis Alliance on Facebook or Google. I have become somewhat very educated about this. My hubby also had Parkinson's but was doing pretty well. We will have been married 52 years on February 6th. He died December 4, 2016. Lots in common for us in this "club" no one wants to be a member of. Again hugs.

I am so sorry for your loss. All of us here, can relate in one way or another. We all feel the pain, the grief,the guilt, the forgetfulness, you name it, we feel it. This has been the absolute best place...internet or local, to assist me in my overwhelming grief also. You did not say how long it has been. For me, eight weeks last sunday. You say you cried...every time I get on the phone and have to state my business my throat tightens up and at times I have to hang up. Monday, I had to go to the bank to sign some papers for transferring title papers for my hubby's car. I told myself numerous times I will not cry...guess what I cried buckets...so much the asst. manager (who was very nice) asked me if I would like to take some time to compose myself. So see it happens to many of us. You mention you want to get records from hospital and rehab. You have a right to these...get them...they may help or hurt but you will always wonder. My hubby died of septic shock caused by a kidney stone. He was not diagnosed or treated in a timely manner and this certainly contributed to his desth. I got the records and have been working with the hospitals Risk Management to hopefully see that changes are made so this doesnt happen to someone else. They (the hospital) admit they did not follow protocol. I am not in it in any way for monitary reasons and I think that is why the hospital is being so open with me. Btw, hubby seemed fine, walked in at ten am and died at 0233 the next morning.That is how fast sepsis can take you down. Hugs to you and your family.

Darrel we want you to stay. Whatever it is we are here for you.

February is a really rough month for me. Our 52nd anniversary is February 6th, Valentines Day is the 14th and our daughters birthday is February 15th ( she died in an accident 12 yewrs ago). Sooooooo!

Eight weeks yesterday and not doing well. 52 years February 6th. Today sold my husband's car. It was our comfortable travel car with lots of memories but I dont need another car. So our local mechanic was nice enough to field inquiries and take people out if they wanted to drive it...iffy if you are a woman alone. People nice, met at the local bank to sign the title and I fell apart. Could not stop crying. I am sure the people had been told why I was selling the car and they were very nice just making it that much worse. The asst. manager asked me if I would like a place to "compose" myself. She knew about my hubby's death as had been handling various financial things. I so told myself I will not fall apart and I did. And I miss the car. When they wanted to give me a lower offer as it needed to be "detailed" I said no as frankly by then I was looking for a reason not to sell it. So here I am...a mess. Little things like this just so throw me. Go to the grief support group and dont cry and then fall apart like I did. i really need to go and get my husband's license where he worked parttime but afraid I will really, really, really fall apart and then next week I start in a Master Gardeners class...what my hubby had been doing for years. We were going to switch off volunteering and we were going to have a contest on who could grow the best tomatoes...now what do I have?. How am I going to make it thru this class? i mentioned in an earlier post I was having trouble not crying well the last few days that has changed. Maybe I have been numb up til now. i just dont know. Sorry for rambling. Crying as I type.

I am so sorry but can so relate. When our daughter was killed in an accident 12 years ago we didnt even get a card from one of my husbands sister. The other sibs only cards...no personal note or call. His parents the same. Then when hubby had a quadruple bypass he reached out to sibs to let them know so they could be checked. They never called after that. Same with prostate cancer...they could care less so now...since I dont have him...i said scr.. them. They hurt my hubby numerous times...he ever cried once (and he was not a crier) about their lack of caring. We had more concern for us from the mailman and lady at the library. Ironically when our kids were young we did things together. Never could understand what happened. Now my brother in law has died and I guess they will find out how hurtful this is. No, I did not respond to his death either (just happened) so much for when they go low, I go high. (Ha) Still too much hurt for how he was treated.