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Herc

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    47
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About Herc

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 06/29/1972

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Husband
  • Date of Death
    12/25/2016
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Gaithersburg, MD

Recent Profile Visitors

783 profile views
  1. KayC, I wish I could offer more than just prayers and positive thoughts. I am sure you will be fine, and know that your indomitable spirit will see you through. Though I know you are strong enough to get past this with flying colors, I'm still going to ask whatever powers may be to give you whatever help they can. Wishing you peace and tranquility, Herc
  2. I didn't realize how close we were George, we got a few flurries today up in DC, and have our first call for accumulation over 1" coming on Tuesday. I think KayC finally managed to send us some so she doesn't have to keep shoveling. I hope you enjoy the retreat. It sounds like you could use it after a hectic work week. I hope next week is just full and not overly full. Many thanks to all for helping relieve the isolation a little on this wonderful site, Herc
  3. I am the same person, but that person has been irrevocably altered by this experience. It is a very painful experience, but the pain is not what has altered me. The love is what created the change. At the moment my emotions can overwhelm me, and the frequency which I am confronted with those emotions is daily, hourly in some cases. As I go through this journey, I will (hopefully) learn how to prevent those emotions from becoming overwhelming. They will still be there, but I will have more experience dealing with them. The frequency with which I feel those deep emotions will also less
  4. Actually it is just on the north side of DC, very mild winter here this year. Normally we have about a half dozen 1" to 6" falls, which are enough to paralyze the area for a day or two, and then one or two 6" to 24" falls that will take us out for a week. I was born in Colorado, and have lived in Michigan, Wyoming, and Maine, so the way these people react to the heavy frosts they call snow always makes me chuckle. I work in construction, so snow fall equals a day or more off work for me. Could have used a few of those this winter, but I guess it isn't meant to be. Maybe your rain will
  5. So I woke up in the middle of the night last night. Not unusual at all. It happens so often I have started to break them down into two groups, the ones where I can get back to sleep quickly without reality crashing in, and the ones where I actually start thinking about things. The thinking ones have always been pretty rough. Lots of crying, and usually laying there until the alarm goes off. Last night was unique, a thinking one that was comforting. As I was laying there, I started thinking about how we would hold one another. I would frequently wake up in the middle of the night bef
  6. George, I know completely how you feel. I am still very new in the experience, but I felt myself getting in trouble with expectations, and allowing them to influence and be influenced by my grief. My grief is incredibly powerful, the single driving force in my life right now. When I let outside factors tie in to that grief, either by triggering it, or by my overreacting to simple situations because emotionally I am dealing with other things, it gives them far too much power over me. I work daily on trying to separate and differentiate my grief from the other feelings in my life. As w
  7. Kay, Good luck with the snow, and congratulations to you and the proud mother and father! Normally I would wish you joy in this new child, but with all that snow, I am going to extended it to physical strength as well. Remember to stretch, and take small shovel loads. Not that you need any advice on how to shovel from a guy who lives where we have had less that 3" total this year. Wishing you a cease to the flurry of white, and well rested muscles tomorrow, Herc
  8. Mitch, I am sure Tammy is proud of your accomplishments here, and in the rest of your life. My thoughts are with you and Tammy, Herc
  9. I thought about not posting here today. I don't want to make it an obligation, desperately searching out positives that I don't really feel, but it was a good day yesterday, and I decided I should share it. There weren't any spectacular moments, but the day overall went wonderfully. After feeling a little lost in the morning, and taking a walk, I went back to my condo, and got a call from my mother. We made plans for a visit either next weekend, or the weekend after, which will be wonderful and healing. She has been a huge source of support, and it has really grown our relationship dramat
  10. Brad, Thanks for the response and suggestions. I went on a walk for a bit, trying to just remain in the moment. It was just around our condos and the surrounding bike paths. There were a lot of memories the various places brought up. Picnics, cookouts, searching for our pets together when they got out. So I got dragged into the past a bit rather than staying centered, but that is going to happen as well. A couple of tears and smiles later I wandered back home, not entirely successful in remaining in the present, but not afraid to give it a shot. I've always been a private perso
  11. I am feeling a little lost today. I have nothing to do, no where to go. In the past I would have looked at this as a wonderful thing, a day to spend with Christine, or just enjoy my time. Now I don't know what to do. The pleasures of the past all seem so empty without her, and the idea of starting something new that she isn't a part of is a bit frightening. I am contemplating spending the day in celebration of her life. Looking through old photos of happy times, and playing some of the CD's from her collection. I know that would bring tears, but smiles as well. The clock I got her
  12. My positive is that I came up with what I think is a great idea for my stepdaughters birthday. It will be the first one without her mom, and I know it will be a very rough day for her. Christine was working on a quilt, hearts inside of squares, with each heart being unique. Some of the hearts are from clothing that our stepdaughter wore when she was younger, some of them were items of Christine's, and some of them were just patterns that she liked. I helped pick quite a few of those out at trips to the arts and crafts store. She had all the materials gathered, all of the hearts cut to shap
  13. Kay, We will see, I'm up to about page 10 now on this one, I got stuck at work last night and didn't have as much time to read as I would have liked. I really want to dive into the reflections and musings thread, it sounds like that one is right up my alley. One at a time though, which is always good advice. After I get those two down, we'll see about Going through Hell. I have skimmed it briefly, liked the lyrics to start GtH off, and was glad to see someone gave the nod to Churchill for the quote, you know how I like quotes. I have several positives today, two that happened yest
  14. Brad, I at one point was a voracious reader. I don't read that many books anymore, which may be something I pick up again soon. I can tear up a forum though. If I read all the drivel on my football board, I am sure the stories of the amazing people here will be a real page turner. I'm going to try to read the whole thing, we will see. I'm embracing the value of trying more and more these days, and learning to take as much pleasure in the effort as the results, which is another positive.
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