karenb

Oh my gosh, Deborah....I'll pray for your safety. I don't know how you do it....I would be so afraid to be alone in all that. We went through some terrible times in my part of the country last year. All I did was bring in some wood and sleep in front of the fireplace in a sleeping bag with my dog, and we made it. We were without power for about a week then. It's so hard to do these things alone. I really understand. Please take care and please let us know how you're doing. Your friend, Karen

Hey Mike, Believe us all, you are never a burden with anything you might have to say. This sudden and overwhelming burst is so totally common for us all. You can be anywhere and it "just happens." There is no reason, it's just a part of this grief we go through. It lessens with time, but it takes different times with us all. You're not doing anything wrong at all and it could be many things that "trigger" this melt down. You are entirely normal. Just keep on keeping on and eventually you'll find yourself feeling better....still missing your beautiful Janet, but able to carry on a little better. She looks so sweet in her picture...no wonder you loved her. Take care and keep in touch. Your friend, Karen

Kathy, I'm so sorry. People can be so cruel, knowingly or unknowingly. It was immediate with me that Jack's family never contacted me from the memorial ever since. It hurt but I got over it, and I know he doesn't approve of their actions. I try very hard not to let the actions of others get to me. What goes around, comes around - as they say. Try to ignore the best you can and begin filling your life with the kind of people you want around you. I've made some wonderful lady friends recently who are kind and gracious. It really helps. Take care of yourself, Kathy, you are so worth it! Your friend, Karen

Do you guys remember my heart on Valentine's Day? Jack always bought me heart-shaped pendants and earings on Valentine's Day. Last February 14th I was walking by a wood-carved cowboy boot and something flashed in my eyes. I went over and sitting on top of the toe of the boot was a silver heart - just sitting there! Knocked me over with a feather! They do watch out for us, I truly know it, also. We just need to keep our minds and hearts open for these wonderful treasures. Love you guys, Karen

We're hanging in there. It's the old story, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. There have been many opportunities for Danny to be with people, do things, etc. but he rarely chooses to do so. He's always been pretty much a loner. He will be okay at the residency until I can get him closer to home and dealing with the organizations takes an awfully long time. I'll just be patient. At least I know he'll be safe where he's going. Thanks, Wendy. Love, Karen

Danny does have a one day a week job doing janitorial work on the Canadian border and a van picks him up for that. It's just hard to find the work. I feel he'll be fine now that he will go to the Residency and get the daily support he needs. He really can't live alone. I would have him home, but the caseworker advises against it and it would be hard for him I know. He needs to be around people. It'll work out. I have faith. Thanks. Love, Karen

Thanks you guys, It so sad, all this. I just pray that my son will be a happy person some day. He's accepted the fact that he will be going back into the Lake Whatcom Residential and Treatment Center. His voice sounds sad. I don't know if his caseworker will be able to save his future housing. My long term plan is to try and get him closer to where I live, but that might take a couple years. There just is no housing for mentally ill people and no work, even part-time. I'll never give up hope, though. You would never know he has a problem except that he's just quiet, and he smiles very little. I'm calmer now that I know he has a place to go. I'm very grateful for my daughter's support. She is a wonderful girl. Thanks for your concern, my friends, I really appreciate it. Love, Karen

Thanks Mary Linda, I am carefull because I know what they can do. All I can do is pray that my son will accept going back to residency...you just don't know what mentally ill people will do. I think he will. He's a harmless person and wouldn't do harm to anything ever and that's why they prey on people like him. Thanks for your support. Your friend, Karen

Bless your heart, Kim, you have a great big one. Please look at your life as a loving one, a giving one, and a passionate one. You have the background for all of that with the love that you've had. Bless your heart. Your friend, Karen

Thanks Marty, You know the tears for those that have passed are very different from the tears that we feel for those that are here, with illness, pain, and suffering. Those tears just seem to go on, and on, and on. I always try to keep spirits up and look for God's plan in whatever is happening - sometimes it's difficult. Thanks, again, Marty. Love, Karen

Bless your sweet heart, Wendy. You are always there. It is scary! I never go there alone. I know he's afraid because there was a butcher knife near the door. But he never says anything to me. I just pray I can get him out of this situation and I also (and I know this probably will never happen) ask that those drug people get what they deserve, and I can't print what I would like to happen!!!! I feel like I'm from Jersey. Thanks for your support, my very good friend. You are special. Love, Karen

Hi Guys, I haven't posted for some time now but I always read and you guys are so great. I have the need for your friendship. Those that know me also know I have a mentally ill son who's been living on his own for a while now. The mentally ill people are targeted by the drug people because of their vulnerability. This is the third time that Danny will be evicted and my heart just breaks for him. I hope that he will accept the residency his caseworker is offering him versus to being on the street. I've been advised not to have him live with me and there's only the Salvation Army. It's just killing me to even think of that. I can't let it happen. Hopefully, he won't loose his housing subsidy, but I don't know yet. I have to move all of his stuff again and whatever "those" people have left there (protective gloves are required.) Please send out thoughts or prayers for strength for Danny to accept residency again and for me to get through this. In this life there are always so many things we have to deal with, and as you know, sometimes it just plain gets you down. I just wish my Jack were here for me to lean on. Love, Karen

Hi Kim, I'm sorry I haven't been posting too much lately. I'm sorry, also, that you're having a hard time - it's just very, very difficult to keep on going when you're down in the dumps. Getting through these last 3 years without Jack hasn't been easy, but we just have to keep going on. I can tell you that, believe it or not, it does get better. It's probably that we just get used to it. Most of the time, now, when I think about Jack I feel my heart smiling and so happy that I had him for a while. I would never have known this kind of love and caring if he wasn't in my life. Just do the best you can and isn't it great that we have so many understanding people to talk to. Take care. Your friend, Karen

Dear Kim... I pray that you will continue to grow in this new life of yours. It's a very hard thing and you are so young to be going through it and so many responsibilities, too. If you've ever read any of my posts over time, you'll know how you progress in this "grief" thing we all go through. Each day you do grow, you do fall back, you do deal with this life that's put before you. The memories are the wonderful thing, and nothing will ever take them away...they're yours. Your wonderful husband, I know, is sitting on your shoulder looking at you with so much love, just like he did when he lived here. Take care, Kim, and be as strong as you can facing your future. Your friend, Karen

Derek, Just leave it to Wendy to pay such wonderful attention to detail. Here's a very Happy Birthday to you and wishing you a beautiful day....you deserve it. Love, Karen

Oh,great and wonderful news. Prayer really works. Bless your hearts. You can rest easy if just for tonight....taking one day at a time is good. We mostly do that anyway. Have a good weekend and take care. Love, Karen

My friend, Wendy Of course, all my prayers are with your mother and you. I pray things will be better and that you all remain strong. As you have done for so many people here, I am with you. Take care of yourself so you can be strong for her. I know you love her so much and it's so hard. Please tell her she has so many praying for her. Take care and let us know what happens. Love, Karen

LeeAnn... You know I talked with a beautiful lady tonight who has gone "through the mill", as they say, for 8 years now...I've been here for 3. She gets tired, too, just like you and I do. I think it's universal. We do have our ups and downs, get really tired of being tired, down and out, feeling sorry for ourselves (as we should be), and all the rest of it. But, you know, LeeAnne, we just keep going on with the beautiful memories and that wonderful love we've had with them. I will never forget that and I know you won't. Keep trying to rembmer some good things, try to keep yourself as busy with "good" things and take care of yourself. Your friend, Karen

Thanks Dusky....I'll get it. Your friend, Karen

Vicki, I pray that what I say to you will be God given....it's very hard for the words to help you through all this. Your pain is so evident and hard to even hear. Bless your heart for all you're going through. We all certainly are "the walking wounded." Just try to make your way through all this, it isn't and won't be easy but you need to stay here and keep that special person you loved, the memory here. I loved my husband so terribly much and it's taking time to deal with it, now 3 years, but I'm better and getting better all the time....that's all there is, is time. Please take care of yourselr and come back to us any time of the day or night. Someone will be here for you. Your friend Karen

Hey Derek, You and Carson are wonderful to watch and know through your words. You two will be special forever because of your wonderful wife and his wonderful mother and because of your strength. Bless you, Derek, you are such a special example of what we all want to become. Your friend, Karen

Rhonda, Babble to your heart's content, it's necessary. It's been a difficult life for you, so much has been going on. Every life has a story and there's, many times, so much pain in those stories. Your life has good and not so good, but you'll get through it with patience and time to heal, just give yourself time. I'll never forget my exhusband's life since we were divorced, and his life just went on where mine took care of our children, and everything else. Sometimes things aren't very fair for them or us. We just have to keep on going. You try to deal with things as they come up, don't worry too much about any one thing, just take care of yourself. Things will come to terms in time. I do know what I'm talking about. My life hasn't been easy, but the time I did have with my 2nd husband, Jack, was a wonderful one, and 3 years after he died, I'm coming to terms and being content with what my life is now. Try to take care of yourself, and come to talk with us again. Your friend, Karen

Mark, It is a tribute to a wonderful love you both had....you are a very lucky man to have had a beautiful lady love you so much. That love is to be treasured, no matter what you have to go through to do that. Your story is beautiful and I'm so sorry her battle was for so long. It is so hard to go through the feelings, emotions and everything else that will probably happen. The fact that she was ill for so long maybe has prepared you a littl bit, but it doesn't matter. She isn't there to take of now. Please you must take care of yourself through this so you can go on to carry on her wonderful memory...I'm sure you will. This group is here to help you whenever you want to be with us...and we understand. Take care. Your friend, Karen

Mike... At 5 weeks I had all these "waves" of tears that just wouldn't go away, wherever I was. Believe me, it was "hell" walking around in this world. I understand. Now, 3 years later, I'm so much better and just a little at a time. The love you two had will always be, and the time will come when you'll remember the good times and have a bit of a grin at the silly things you both did. Love just goes on forever. Take care of yourself, Mike. Your lady wants you to do just that because she loves you. Your friend, Karen

Hey Joe, I hear you - enough is enough! You are having a rough time, and I am sorry. Just losing your wife and father are enough to deal with let alone friends as well. Just do your best - it's all you can do at this point. Twenty-nine years is a long time. We all know how hard all this is. It was three years since Jack died last Sunday and I'm here to tell you it does get better as long as we give it our best try. Take care, Joe. Your friend, Karen