sunstreet

Dear Marty, Oh how wonderfully heartwarming and wise! Thank you so much for sharing! Blessings, Carol Ann

Dear Shelley, I hope you are owning the fact that you are one brave phenominal woman! It is because of your courage, your ability to persist and endure, to push through all the fear, and speak your truth; that your family is now working together in harmony. It is both and honour and a priviledge to witness and I thank you for your "trust" of me. I am so PROUD of you. Your friend ~ Carol Ann

Dear Rachel, Thank you for wishing me peace today. I wish the same for you too. I will be at peace Rachel. I just feel this melancholy, not a debilitating kind of pain, not one that renders me weeping at all. Just this feeling of melancholy alongside. It actually is a blessing that the first "huge" moment without my bike to be a part of it is today, Valentine's Day, for my love is very close, and I feel her wrapping her arms around me and beaming with pride as I she witnesses my growth. I hope today especially that the "pain" of this path is kicked to the curb by all the love that each and every one of us has within our hearts forever. So hold no sorrow for me Rachel for I could not feel more blessed, nor more loved, nor more joy, on this day especially. I can hold all those good feelings alongside the melancholy that I feel as well. That is what I hope brings a sense of hope to all of you whose loss is still so new. That the day will come when you feel this melancholy alongside joy because the pain has eased and does not fill up all the space any longer, and makes it possible to feel other feelings too and not just this "all consuming pain" Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann ps: Every VDay since Melissa died my God brought me sunshine. Today is the first VDay, that it could not be raining any harder. These are the GodWinks that always happen for me. It is a lot easier to not have my bike today with such poor weather.

Dear Nats, I have been holding you in gentle thought and prayer and will continue to do so. I will be thinking of you today especially. I am happy for you that you have a new friend and the blessing that must be for you. Courage and Blessings, Carol Ann

Dear Nicholas, Thank you for your post. Oh Nicholas, I know how much it hurts to be giving Thanomsil's things away. It is so hard and distressing I agree...thinking of you my friend. All the daunting painful things that one has to do after loss. I hold you close in gentle prayer and thought, my friend. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Mcrelloboy, I am so sorry for your loss of your fiancee.... Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Rachel, I admire your positive attitude and your Faith. I am so sorry that it is such a struggle to just get by and getting out of the house except for work...hugs. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Mary, As I said...you are an inspiration.....and I love both the pictures! Thank you for sharing. ((((HUGS)))) Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Niamh, Thinking of you tonight and wanted to send you a ((((HUG)))) Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Hi Becka, No worries at all...no judgements here.....and a gentle reminder you are so normal. Your loss is still yet so new....so hard...HUGS. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Hello All, Sending love and support to all. I am feeling melancholy tonight. Every year since Melissa died on VDay, I have always driven my bike to the spot by the water where we were wed, and thrown 2 roses into the sea, spent time in quiet contemplation and comfort remembering our love together. This year I will be driving my car and it just doesn't feel right. I am not over ridden with pain or sobbing uncontrollably. I just feel this sorrow, this melancholy that my ritual has to change and I am not the one choosing the change. The change was decided for me and it just does not feel right.... Forever, Always, and Eternity my love. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

I found this in a google search at the following site: http://www.simplesympathy.com I thought it would be good to share with all of you. Hand it to those who say comments that are not helpful. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann The Simple Sympathy Pledge I will not worry about having the "perfect" thing to say. I will not expect you to "get on with your life" or "get over it." I will respect the grieving process as being highly unique and lay aside my ideas about what is "normal." I will not say, "I know exactly how you feel." I will listen with my heart. I will value emotions as something that need to be expressed. I will not make the conversation about me. I will value empathy as an essential human virtue that should be cultivated, practiced and modeled to future generations. I will place more value compassion than having the right answers. I will do the little things that help make one day a little easier. I will keep sympathy simple and unfettered by advice, solutions, pat answers or attempts to fix grief.

Dear Shelley, I am so PROUD and HAPPY for you. I am just tearing up knowing what you have accomplished today. GOOD FOR YOU! Please get some well earned and well deserved rest now.... Never forget you are a PHENOMINAL WOMAN. Your friend ~ Carol Ann

Dear Mary, Oh gosh thank you for sharing another picture of Michael. I can just see how you describe him. I tear up thinking on how happy I am that you experienced such a life and love with Michael. We all did, we all experienced love, we gave it, and we received it, we were all so blessed. Mary, I have not checked out any more convertibles yet. I think the process of letting my bike go and transitioning to a convertible will not be a quick process. Now that I have driven a convertible, I do feel a thirst to do it again, so this is good. IN any event, this past week has been a tough one for me but also one rich with healing and movement forward. The first task is to find the right buyer for my bike and then to actually get payment and let the bike go. Admittedly, part of my hestitation to sell now, is that it is not exactly biking weather yet, and in a month or so, it will be and I would be able to get more for my bike at that time. It is horrible I have to think on that, but my financial life is dismal for all kinds of reasons and I need to get as much as I can for my bike so I'll be able to afford a convertible. Good for you Mary to get on the stage again and I am delighted that you expereinced some great fun. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

It is OK to feel scared Shelley.....Just focus on your breath....deep breath's...not short shallow ones, deep ones Shelley. You are doing so well.....I see you working so hard.....and you are doing it. NIamh is right your Mom is with you, she resides in your heart forever! Just do all the things that bring you a sense of safety and comfort. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Mary, It is so good to hear from you and I am so happy that you are continuing to feel peace. Your rambling is making perfect sense! You are an inspiration! Me, where I am is I feel that peace, but also alongside this sorrow. Not gut wrenching pain, but a gentle constant sorrow. In time that will be reconciled as well. I trust that healing continues to happen. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Melina, Thank you so much for sharing and I am so glad it gave you a little hope. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Thank you very much Niamh! This path is so hard as you know so it is always so good when we are supported. I am happy to report that I am feeling much better now. It has been my experience that we are sometimes just ambushed with pain that seems to come out of nowhere and we weren't expecting it. I am happy that where I am on my path, I can just let myself feel and be comforted in knowing that more healing is occuring. IN regards to sleep Niamh, sometimes I get the same thing happening and I call it 'mind chatter" and I find when this comes up, which is fairly rare now for me but when it does, I just write all my thoughts out and tell myself I will deal with it tomorrow. It works for me. I have found Marty's site www.griefhealing.com a wealth of resources and comfort to help us along and I remember one that helped me before and I want to share it with you. Always Too Soon Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Niamh, You make perfect sense Niamh. It is OK to be in that place of not wanting to look back and it causes you to feel the life is being squeezed out of you. Have you ever seen the movie "The Truman Show"? There is a scene in the movie when Jim Carey has climbed a set of stairs and is standing at the top of them. It is like he is standing on a fence, one side all that he knew, and the other the unknown. The unknown is terrifying. Niamh, it is OK to stand on the fence for as long as you need. I see the special bond that you and your Father had and have. I see the seeds your Father planted in you through your posts. The seed of compassion, the seed of intelliegence, the seed of caring, the seed of knowing how special you, the seed of knowing your place in the world. All these seeds and more your Father has given you while he was still alive. One way that helped me was to think on I need to nourish those seeds that my Father planted in me, so they can continue to grow and develop and become all that they are entitled to be. I just knew that if my Father were still here that is what he would be doing for me and so I learned how to do it for myself and I feel such comfort knowing that my Father is witnessing my growth and I know he witnesses it because of the first seed he planted in me and that was the one he planted in my heart. I send HUGS Niamh. Just know that I understand and care. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Hi Shelley, Here are a couple songs that have helped me along the way. I want to share them with you. I believe in you. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Marty, I sent you a personal message early in the day to say Happy Birthday but I want to join everyone and say Happy Birthday in a public way. Marty, you are a genuine caring wise woman and I am so blessed to know you. You are very special to me and find myself tearing up at present thinking on just what an angel you have been for me. I hope your day was as grand as you are to all of us! Blessings ~ Carol Ann

Hi Becka, Thank you and although it is painful when we are in those lows, they are also neccessary for healing to occur I believe. I know you can do it Becka. I believe in you. It is when we distract ourselves, push it down, deny it, or whatever behavior we use to escape the pain, it does not take it away, it only causes it to "fester" and grow so the more we can let our pain out in the moment, the less of a monster it feels like and the more healing happens. This has been my experience anyhow. Hi Hello123, Thank you so much for your support. I agree with you that it is entirely OK to have those types of days and actually in my opinion quite neccessary for healing to happen.......it is just so hard to go through them alone.... Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Nelly_ I am so sorry that your Grandma has died. I know how much pain you must be in. I am sorry that you had to be out of town and weren't able to see your Grandma. I am sure your Grandma understands. I am sorry that your Father decided for you and that you did not get to see her after she died. It sounds like you and your Grandma had a very special bond and love. That bond and love the two of you shared will be with you always. I know because I too had a Grandma like yours who saw something in me that no-one else could or wanted to see. Your Grandma planted a seed of self-worth in you that you can continue to feed and nourish just like your Grandma would if she were still here. I know she would want that for you. I am so sorry that your Gramdma's death caused you to come looking for us but I want to welcome you and tell you that we all understand and we all know how much pain you are in because we have all been there. Please don't feel you need to apologize for how much or how often you come here. That is why we are here to console one another and help one another along this path of grief and loss. My heart reaches out to you for I too had a very special Grandma and I hope it encourages you to know that I still feel her love and the bond we shared and actually now that I am all grown up, the bond and love is even stronger. Keep coming here it helps. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Tony, It is just upon to heart today to speak to you. I do realize that receiving my post must have felt like a slap in face I am sure. I do want to apologize that at times my pain is so great, I react, with giving it any thought. I have been on your site and the memorial to your Grandmother and it is glorious! You have done an absolutley fantastic job with it. Tears came rolling down my face, wonderfully healing tears. Bless you and thank you for your generousity again. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

Dear Wmjsca, Oh how my heart aches for you! I hear you and validate your pain so very much! I too was once where you are at now. It is excrutiating! I also know that if feels impossible to even think on hope that it will get better. It is OK that you are not there yet...others are not there yet either and can't find the courage to let us know. You have been able to tell us, you have your voice...that is movement. None of us are going to be at the same place at the same time. I hope you will allow your Higher Power if you have one, I, and others here who are further along hold hope for you until such time as you can hold it yourself because I hold and have the Faith that you will begin to see hope through the darkness and pain that is blinding it to you for now. If willing...I offer you a hug. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann