KATPILOT Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 For the last three weeks I have been buried in work so I have missed so much of what has been going on here with our group. I haven't had the time to dwell on the sad part of the season opting to sleep before turning on the computer but I am not complaining for that is what it means to run your own business and make it while you can so to speak. I'm caught up now and have the time to relax but with it comes all the emotions I have been holding back. It seems sometimes when you ignore your feelings they eventually become more intense. I wish you all the best this Christmas for I know how it is, especially for you who are spending the first one without them. I'd like to say it gets easier but I'm not sure about that yet. Somehow we will wake up in January starting another year on grief's journey. I hope it's one filled with more happy times than sad. Steve 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Steve, I'm glad you're getting a breather, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Happy Birthday, Steve! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 Wishing you a day that brings you more warm and comforting feelings than the stuff grief steals from us. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty65 Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Today, one of my employees asked me if I am getting excited about my trip. Saturday night I'm going back to see my family, my very ill mom, and I will be in the place where all our Christmas magic used to happen, and where lumps popped up on Ron's face last year on the day after Christmas, which was the beginning of the end. Excited? No. Crash? Probably. My mother has 20% heart function, and I'm afraid my grief will kill her, and the thought of it drives me to tears - everything. I confessed that to my therapist last night, and she told me that my mother has her own contract with her life. It was another perspective to hold onto as best I can. So, I just told this employee, well - not exactly excited. I need to go, I have to go, I must go, I want to see my mom, and I want to see my parents, sister, nephew and uncle. I have not seen them since Ron has been gone. At least I will be travelling there with my daughter. (AND I'm getting my first (and ONLY!) tattoo tonight! My daughter wanted us to get matching tattoos, so we are getting a small icon of a sun, moon and a star - about 1 or two inches in diameter!! Yikes!) I added the star to her design, and she said that would be Ron, that I would be the moon, and she would be the sun... after all, as the child, the world does revolve around her I don't know how to survive, especially without work as my buffer/escape, but I guess somehow I will. It's scary. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted December 23, 2016 Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Happy belated Steve. Safe journey Patty... I hope everyone has a good Christmas....as good as we can... Marie 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted December 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Yes it is scary Patty. The whole journey is one of fear and uncertainty but as each day goes along we get through it. I like the idea of the moon sun and star. You know a star is also a sun so perhaps the star and the sun would be two stars locked in orbit (binary stars) with you, the moon, in the center of the two most important people in your life revolving around you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted December 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2016 Thank you Marie. My best wishes to you too. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 Patty, I hope this trip can be about you getting to spend time with your mom and the rest of your family and that the memories don't haunt you horribly. I understand how hard that must be because it's all wrapped together but I'm hoping you can unwrap it and let this trip be about her. I'm sorry your mom has medical issues, that must weigh on you. I'm excited about your tattoo, I hope you can post a picture of it later?? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty65 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 Hurts and hurts and hurts and hurts and HURTS and H-U-R-T-S. Christmas eve day at the shop and tears are flowing and flowing. But this song, out of 290 songs on my playlist, has played 3x in the last 3 hours. My Sweet Lady Lyrics by John Denver Lady, are you crying, do the tears belong to me Did you think our time together was all gone Lady, you've been dreaming, I'm as close as I can be And I swear to you our time has just begun Close your eyes and rest your weary mind I promise I will stay right here beside you Today our lives were joined, became entwined I wish that you could know how much I love you Lady, are you happy, do you feel the way I do Are there meanings that you've never seen before Lady, my sweet lady, I just can't believe it's true And it's like I've never, ever loved before Close your eyes and rest your weary mind I promise I will stay right here beside you Today our lives were joined, became entwined I wish that you could know how much I love you Lady, are you crying, do the tears belong to me Did you think our time together was all gone Lady, my sweet lady, I'm as close as I can be And I swear to you our time has just begun 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 Beautiful song and tribute Patty.....big Hug. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted December 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 There's that soul mate thing again right Patty. The one certainty is that death cannot stop true love and some songs were meant to be heard and understood by certain people. Only certain people. In a few hours when you close up shop and get on that plane with Catherine You will be having the third member of that sun star and moon traveling along right with you. Ron indeed is as close as he can be. Safe travels for I know it's a long way from Maui to New England. I'm glad you are not traveling alone. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty65 Posted December 24, 2016 Report Share Posted December 24, 2016 ohhh alright I don't like it (yet). The moon looks like swiss cheese! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 25, 2016 Report Share Posted December 25, 2016 It's lovely! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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