Only Human

[AB3]

Life is such a mystery....even when we think we have it figured out the story changes. Through this grief journey I've been thinking to myself.....was I naive to think that my love and I would grow old together and accomplish the goals we had set. Was I oblivious to his health issues (heart condition) and his life expectancy. Maybe I was. But what kind of life would we have had if I did focus on those things? I loved him for who he was not his physical differences.....I saw pass all of that..... the heart transplant the illnesses and all I saw was him and the love we shared. I'm sure we all here loved our soulmates with all that we had.....overlooking all the "imperfections"....planning and living out our shared goals.....and just embracing life with them. But isn't that what we are supposed to do? Even if we knew what we know now wouldn't we still choose to love them unconditionally? I know I would.

Unfortunately, death is inevitable and honestly so is falling in love......we are only human.

[Brad]

10 hours ago, AB3 said:

Unfortunately, death is inevitable and honestly so is falling in love......we are only human.

I had no choice.  I fell (oops) hopelessly in love with Deedo long before she did with me.  I knew from our first conversation that she was the one I would marry.  I loved her as she loved me inspite of the dents and scratches, the knocks and pings.  Given that I was blessed with thirty-seven wondrous and glorious years with her I will gladly accept the few I have left without her.  I only wish that stupid meteor had done its job.

[Marie Lee]

AB ..such a lovely sentiment ...falling in love is inevitable...embrace your love, it's a beautiful thing...

Marie

[Marie Lee]

Brad, I love what you want about you and Deedo's love...

you made me smile, I hope your memories make you smile as well, Marie

[Guest]

AB, what you said was so beautiful and so wise. I will be eternally grateful for being born a human being and being able to experience love. I had sworn off of commitment after my high school sweetheart sent me a Dear John letter while i was in Southeast Asia during the Vietnam War. We had talked and planned out our future, but while i was gone her "wild child" side changed her. We lived in a college town (Norman, Okla) and she thought it was her time to go through the experimental phase with the drug culture that was all over the O.U.

[Guest]

(somehow i accidentally sent the above without meaning to).

...all over the O.U. campus. The best thing that could've happened to me was getting that dear john letter, but i didn't react that way at the time. It really knocked the slats right out from underneath me. I was only 20 yrs. old then, but i spent the remainder of that year overseas pretty much inside a bottle of booze. That was in 1970.

Fast forward to the fall of 1974. Meeting my wife was a complete fluke.  I needed a job to supplement the GI Bill, and i drove to a motel in Okla. City to apply for a job as a nite auditor. There were 2 interviews involved. The motel's general mgr. and the if he liked me i then had to be interviewed by his front desk mgr. I knew i had passed the first interview when he told me that it was time for he and i to walk out to the front desk for the 2nd interview. About halfway across the lobby i saw those big, luscious eyes, they swallowed me up, and she owned me right then and there. My wife was that front desk mgr. Even before we had spoken a word, i was in love with that goddess behind the counter. So, i got that job and was married to my boss for 41 wonderful years. If someone had told me back then just how unbearably gut-wrenching this grief thing would be and that i could avoid it all by just turning around and walking away from that counter (after all, there were jobs all over Okla. City back then) I would have stayed right there. Being able to ride that wave for 41 years was truly the only good thing that ever happened to me. This grief crap ain't fun, but it's one of the chapters in the book of my life. To not be enduring it means that i would not have spent two thirds of my life with Cookie. I had a fair idea how tough this grief thing would be. I asked God one time to take her first if it wasn't his plan to take us both together. Not because i wanted to be rid of her. I am devestated by her absence. But i simply didn't want her to be the one dealing with all this pain. 

I'm so sorry you didn't have more time with your fiance. I know first hand how hard it is sometimes to figure out the rhyme or reason to the why and how of things. No doubt there are some wonderful memories of the time and you and he did have together. Treasure those. I don't know what your faith is, and it isn't any of my business. Just know that whatever your faith tells you is that version of heaven, trust in the fact your fiance is there now looking out for you and watching over you. In my case, i find comfort in that.

One foot in front of the other...

Darrel

[kayc]

2 hours ago, Brad said:

I had no choice.  I feel hopelessly in love

Me too and I wouldn't have changed anything even if I'd known I wouldn't have him any longer than I did.

[MartyT]

Darrel, my dear, your story also illustrates the fact that, no matter how devastated we feel in the face of significant loss (as you must have felt when your high school sweetheart ditched you), somehow we can and do find the strength and determination to go on ~ and we just never know what lies ahead for us  ♥

[AB3]

12 minutes ago, olemisfit said:

I'm so sorry you didn't have more time with your fiance. I know first hand how hard it is sometimes to figure out the rhyme or reason to the why and how of things. No doubt there are some wonderful memories of the time and you and he did have together. Treasure those. I don't know what your faith is, and it isn't any of my business. Just know that whatever your faith tells you is that version of heaven, trust in the fact your fiance is there now looking out for you and watching over you. In my case, i find comfort in that.

 

Darrel, I can relate so much to your love story in a sense as I too swore off love and relationships at the age of 20 after being either hurt by guys or simply not respected by them. But then I met him and it wasn't love at first sight but we became instant best friends. Never met anyone like him....we could talk for hours. He actually fell in love with me and then I slowly fell in love with him even though I tried not to. It was fate though....we were just meant to be. Though we only had 6 1/2 years together we were truly soulmates, I felt like I knew him my entire life. 

I had a long conversation with his aunt after his funeral and she told me that right around the time he got his heart transplant  ( almost a year before we met) she prayed that God would send him someone who truly loved and cared for him. And long and behold.....he sent me! I truly believe God put us together and therefore I have to believe he will bring us back together when the time is right.

 

[kayc]

I wouldn't say ours was love at first sight either, if there is such a thing, but it was definitely "clicked at first sight"!  We connected, we could really communicate and understand and relate to each other.  The chemistry developed later, I think as a result of how well we treated each other.  

[iPraiseHim]

It was love at first sight for me. Because of her family upbringing, it took my wife a little longer.  I knew she loved me but it took some time for her to realize it. - Shalom  

[kayc]

I was at the end of my marriage when I met him so we didn't allow ourselves to dream of anything beyond friendship in the beginning.  The connection was amazing though!