A place where we can share what we have learned and what we are still learning

[KATPILOT]

I was reading this thread by Jillian in Loss  of Spouse:

Medical Assistance In Dying

By Jillian, Friday at 09:44 AM in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other 

It so moved me but I wanted to write this here for it is not something easily accepted by those of us who are new to grief's journey.

I want to share what happened with my wife Kathy. When we first met each other and fell in love she told me one day that she was not going to live long. I questioned her because she was in perfect health and at the time was only 38. She simply said "I just know". This upset me at the time and I hated hearing such words but I believe now that it was part of a plan much bigger than ourselves.  I feared the "self fulfilled prophecy" yet I have a hard time accepting it. I still am unsure and it is far beyond my ability to comprehend it but somehow I feel there is indeed a bigger plan. She was a brave girl. Kathy had an understanding that I could not wrap my head around so when all was lost she simply said "It is what it is". She never cried or felt sorry for herself. That was my job I guess. She knew more than I did why she was here and where she was going.  My new bride  had a similar experience with her husband Ron for he believed his time was limited. Patty turned me on to a book "The journey of souls" by Michael Newton. In this book he describes how over a thousand of patience he had placed under hypnosis exploring life between lives in a study of several years described the same experience after they had died. You can believe in incarnation or not but I truly do.

The point I want to make is how in my opinion there is a plan. My take away from the book is how we are here to learn lessons if you will. We teach, we learn, we endure hardships and loss for a reason. We also enjoy the wonder and beauty of life. It does not make my grief any easier to know that Kathy dying was a lesson I had to learn but I have a feeling it is true. 

Do we know when it is time to die? I believe some of us do. We can accept this or not but if we do then things start to fall into place. Things begin to make sense in a crazy emotional time. While it does not take our grief away it does help us move forward.

Please feel free to share what you are learning on this grief's journey.
 

[kayc]

Well that blows my theory that it's all rather random...I had an easier time accepting the random theory than thinking George's death was part of someone's plan.  Don't like the plan if there is/was one!

[Polly]

I believe there is a plan. I don't think Rich was happy about it though. I know he didn't want to leave me. I also believe he had something to do with me meeting Bill. Bill is so much like Richard. Sometimes it really freaks me out.