Lexilou Posted July 13, 2020 Report Share Posted July 13, 2020 That was a message from her for sure. What ive been reading and hearing from this wonderful FB group is that when you feel something or you see something and you think of Buttercup, don't talk yourself into thinking it is just coincidence or your imagination. If it feels real, it's real. Its been a rough day for me but I'm slowly releasing the guilt. It's not stabbing me in the heart at every turn. Its there for sure, just seems to be lightening. I think because I know Lexi loves and adores me. She knows I would never do anything to harm her. And I say that in present tense because I know she is still with me. Her spirit lives on with me everyday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 13, 2020 Report Share Posted July 13, 2020 On 7/12/2020 at 7:51 AM, DebbieGD said: I well others thought you can get a another dog you know the tale, I hated hearing that it just angered me, but I couldn't right now. I'm hoping Buttercup is happy and in a safe place. Do you believe in signs, I just got one... It's not helpful for others to tell you that "you can get another" as it feels dismissive & invalidating and only you can decide if/when. I like Marty's article about it although I would never call it "replacing" as they can't be replaced, but rather "getting another." https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/01/replacing-pet-who-has-died-when-is-it.html Yes since you asked for a honey bee and that's what you got I hope you took comfort. I do NOT see you as guilty of anything...did you read all of the articles I gave you links on for feeling guilt? Very helpful to understand! I was very serious when I told you I have known dogs with Diabetes and with all of the best efforts, they don't usually make it a long time, even with continual treatment. It's hard to lose our babies any way it happens, and for some reason we're hard on ourselves in grief, NOT what we need! Not constructive to berate ourselves, yet most of us have done it. I do hope you can work on forgiving yourself any imagined wrongs, so important to being able to reach the place where you can focus on the good memories and life you gave Buttercup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexilou Posted July 13, 2020 Report Share Posted July 13, 2020 Ive had a lot of friends and family tell me the best way to get over losing your dog is to get another one. I cant even imagine that. I dont know how I'll feel down the road. Right now, she's all I can think about. Its a longing. I cry less times a day, but the times I do, I cry longer. It is grief I never knew existed. That makes it difficult to imagine going thru this again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 13, 2020 Report Share Posted July 13, 2020 23 minutes ago, Lexilou said: That makes it difficult to imagine going thru this again. You're right ~ the best way to keep yourself from going through a loss like this again is to vow never to get another dog ~ but the price you pay for that is to deprive yourself of all the unconditional love another dog can bring into your life. Grief is the price we pay for love, but it is the love than makes it so worth the price we have to pay! Give yourself time to mourn the loss of Lexi ~ and trust that the day may come when you'll feel ready to open your heart to another. As my dear father wrote in the obituary he published following the death of his beloved collie-St. Bernard, Moose, "It would be easy to say, 'There will never be another dog like dear, good Moose.' But that's nonsense . . . because as long as love, in its broadest and best meaning exists, just so long will there be good dogs, and good people - and all of them good for each other." ♥️ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 13, 2020 Report Share Posted July 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Lexilou said: Ive had a lot of friends and family tell me the best way to get over losing your dog is to get another one. It doesn't get you over your dog, instead it creates another unique relationship all of it's own. In a way, I'm glad my Kodie isn't able to replace Arlie because that is a tribute to Arlie, how special and unique he is, my soulmate dog, my heart dog, my sweet sweet boy! I am glad I have Kodie, I can't imagine life without him now, but I wish they could have known each other, they would have loved each other. The "getting over" is a misnomer, I've instead had to learn to live with this. I will never be "over" him, I will love and miss him until the day I die and we are together again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexilou Posted July 13, 2020 Report Share Posted July 13, 2020 Marty and Kay... Sorry I havent quite figured out how to reply to individual posts/comments. Its a little confusing to me. I do love the obituary Marty. That is very insightful. And I know I need more time to grieve. Somehow, it seems as if it's been a lot more time than it has since she's been gone, you know? Like time is standing still right now... Do you feel that way? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 14, 2020 Report Share Posted July 14, 2020 Yes, whenever we go through something traumatic it FEELS like time is warped! When I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly, the early weeks felt like an eternity! Now 15 years later, it feels like an eternity since I had him in my life, kind of like a long ago dream or a movie I watched. It's weird how it plays tricks with us. If you select something someone wrote, then click quote, it will put that passage into your response. Or you can click Quote below their comment and it will put the whole thing in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexilou Posted July 14, 2020 Report Share Posted July 14, 2020 3 hours ago, kayc said: Yes, whenever we go through something traumatic it FEELS like time is warped! When I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly, the early weeks felt like an eternity! Now 15 years later, it feels like an eternity since I had him in my life, kind of like a long ago dream or a movie I watched. It's weird how it plays tricks with us. If you select something someone wrote, then click quote, it will put that passage into your response. Or you can click Quote below their comment and it will put the whole thing in. Ok. Thank you. I'm clearly not a tech genius. Lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 14, 2020 Report Share Posted July 14, 2020 Me neither! (ask my son!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexilou Posted July 16, 2020 Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 On 7/12/2020 at 9:25 AM, DebbieGD said: Think of you too huggs❤️ Hi Debbie. How are you doing lately? Ive been thinking of you and hope you've found some comfort. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebbieGD Posted July 18, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2020 On 7/16/2020 at 4:00 PM, Lexilou said: Hi Debbie. How are you doing lately? Ive been thinking of you and hope you've found some comfort. Hi Lexilou I'm doing terrible, I'm so alone I miss her and it's breaking my heart I'm having panic attacks back to back I'm crying excessively, I don't think I can go on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebbieGD Posted July 18, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2020 I have this new phone and I can't get notifications. I'm in tears I'm so lost I'm scared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 18, 2020 Report Share Posted July 18, 2020 33 minutes ago, DebbieGD said: I don't think I can go on. Debbie, my dear, if this is how you're feeling and you're thinking of hurting yourself, please, please reach out for the help and support you need! We are here to offer reliable information, comfort and support, but our site is not intended for individuals who are in crisis and actively contemplating suicide. If you're thinking of suicide, read this first. If you are experiencing serious suicidal thoughts that you cannot control, please stop now and telephone 911 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Using your smart phone, contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexilou Posted July 18, 2020 Report Share Posted July 18, 2020 35 minutes ago, DebbieGD said: Hi Lexilou I'm doing terrible, I'm so alone I miss her and it's breaking my heart I'm having panic attacks back to back I'm crying excessively, I don't think I can go on. Do you have anyone to talk to? I mean other than on here? I know it is awful pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 19, 2020 Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 Finding Support for Pet Loss Pet Loss: Finding Support in A Group Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexilou Posted July 19, 2020 Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 5 hours ago, DebbieGD said: I have this new phone and I can't get notifications. I'm in tears I'm so lost I'm scared. Please reach out to the links Marty suggested. And YOU'RE NOT ALONE!!! I'm holding your hand and comforting you right now. ❤❤ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebbieGD Posted July 19, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 13 hours ago, Lexilou said: Please reach out to the links Marty suggested. And YOU'RE NOT ALONE!!! I'm holding your hand and comforting you right now. ❤❤ Thank you Lexilou, hand in hand, and for being here for me, I'm not real tech savvy, on top of that I had to get another phone bc old one wouldn't hold a charge, now this new fangeled job, nightmare.....! When I find some relief I will go to Marty and see what I can or cannot do. Still yet it's hard to function being without her, she was my confidant, and best friend. I miss her so much. Have a merciful day! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebbieGD Posted July 19, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 On 7/13/2020 at 12:00 PM, Lexilou said: Ive had a lot of friends and family tell me the best way to get over losing your dog is to get another one. I cant even imagine that. I dont know how I'll feel down the road. Right now, she's all I can think about. Its a longing. I cry less times a day, but the times I do, I cry longer. It is grief I never knew existed. That makes it difficult to imagine going thru this again. ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebbieGD Posted July 19, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 18 hours ago, MartyT said: Debbie, my dear, if this is how you're feeling and you're thinking of hurting yourself, please, please reach out for the help and support you need! We are here to offer reliable information, comfort and support, but our site is not intended for individuals who are in crisis and actively contemplating suicide. If you're thinking of suicide, read this first. If you are experiencing serious suicidal thoughts that you cannot control, please stop now and telephone 911 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Using your smart phone, contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741. Thank you Marty, you are so Dear, I'm hurting so bad Marty, I'm so deeply depressed over her loss checking out is only a flighting thought, but checking out is not an option. The Lord is with me, He knows my strengths and my weaknesses, he's helping me pull through this. I'm am so glad I found you..Thank you.❤️ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 19, 2020 Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebbieGD Posted July 19, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 Thank you... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 19, 2020 Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 5 hours ago, DebbieGD said: The Lord is with me, He knows my strengths and my weaknesses, he's helping me pull through this. Just take it day by day, moment by moment, yes He does help us through everything we have to go through, He comforts the brokenhearted. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebbieGD Posted July 20, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2020 Yes Kayc he does, I'm so alone but I pray, and it helps. Hugs 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebbieGD Posted July 30, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2020 On 7/19/2020 at 10:39 AM, MartyT said: Thank you Marty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebbieGD Posted July 30, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2020 It's been a little while, I'm doing better, the days are lonely, I haven't cried as much as of late, but today I'm missing her terribly, she gave me so many reasons to be happy,I'm still very sad, I miss not being a nuturer,as women go, I have no one to take care of,yes I have myself, I'm still not eating real well but at first it was like I had been fasting and not even knowing it,the Lord works in mysterious ways. I miss her so, yet for about the last 4-5 days seem to let up, and then I felt guilty because I hadn't missed her so much,just writing that lends guilt, I thought of her always but it was a terrible thing, my friend told me you just have to put it in another place when I told her how guilty I felt,perhaps that's what I had done. Thank you so much Marty for your place and time. I hope your having a Wonderful day. Best regards, Debbie 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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