Yearning for meaningful conversation

[Boho-Soul]

Lately, “How are you?” can feel like an overwhelming question. Saying, “I’m good,” doesn’t fit, so I say, “mostly good,” attempting to use the glass-half-full response. Because how I’m really doing either feels like to much to unpack, or it’s to heavy to share with someone.

I don’t always need or want to talk about my stuff, and what I’m going through with my friends. It’s not always necessary either, besides, I got my therapist for those conversations. I just want to have more quality conversations with people. 

Friends don’t always want to engage in rich conversations. Most everyday conversations have a lot of ‘fillers’. The truth is most conversations don’t move beyond this when the connection you have with them is weak.

I so miss have deep meaningful conversations that go beyond surface-level small-talk. I miss having a deep emotional connection with someone that I can talk about life with. A conversation that goes beyond an update of one’s day that feels like a recap of the evening news. Ugh!

Meaningful conversations enrich the fabric of our daily lives, right now the fabric of my life feels like a very loose weave. I find most meaningless small-talk leaves me very unfulfilled. The conversations I miss don’t have to be complex or intellectual, they just need to have more substance.

[kayc]

I do know what you mean.  Yesterday as I was sitting with my dog on his play date, the man that owns the other dog was talking small talk and I found myself silent, content just to be in the moment, nothing needed said, and I was fully engaged in the moment.  Sometimes we have things to say but no one to say them to.

[V. R.]

7 hours ago, Boho-Soul said:

Lately, “How are you?” can feel like an overwhelming question. Saying, “I’m good,” doesn’t fit, so I say, “mostly good,” attempting to use the glass-half-full response. Because how I’m really doing either feels like to much to unpack, or it’s to heavy to share with someone.

I don’t always need or want to talk about my stuff, and what I’m going through with my friends. It’s not always necessary either, besides, I got my therapist for those conversations. I just want to have more quality conversations with people. 

Friends don’t always want to engage in rich conversations. Most everyday conversations have a lot of ‘fillers’. The truth is most conversations don’t move beyond this when the connection you have with them is weak.

I so miss have deep meaningful conversations that go beyond surface-level small-talk. I miss having a deep emotional connection with someone that I can talk about life with. A conversation that goes beyond an update of one’s day that feels like a recap of the evening news. Ugh!

Meaningful conversations enrich the fabric of our daily lives, right now the fabric of my life feels like a very loose weave. I find most meaningless small-talk leaves me very unfulfilled. The conversations I miss don’t have to be complex or intellectual, they just need to have more substance.

Beautifully said, Boho Soul, I couldn’t have said it better. My husband was such a good talker, could have a conversation with him about every single topic in the world, unlike me. I used to jokingly call him my walking encyclopedia. I do have two grownup kids who both luckily take after their father in this sense,but you know how it is, with the age gap difference, it's just not the same, obviously, not having your soulmate to discuss things with. I miss that so much. Everyday, there is always something that happens (even if it's just some news on TV), that makes me sadly think: Oh, me and my beloved would be talking about this now.. 

Kayc, like you rightly say, so much to say,  nobody to say it to. 

[Boho-Soul]

35 minutes ago, V. R. said:

Kayc, like you rightly say, so much to say, nobody to say it to. 

Yes, that’s exactly it.

I’m no where near ready to do this, but recently I’ve been thinking when I’m more physically and emotionally settled, stable and healthy that maybe I’d join a dating site to seek out friendship. I met my late husband through telephone dating, could be weird though 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ok, I have a morning sound off before I start my day.

I’d just like to have friends around my age. Being from Generation Jones it’s like a lost generation. We’re kinda like young Boomers, so we’re not the true Boomers, but we’re also close to Gen X. Being born mid 60’s there’s that crossover right in the middle. Most of the Gen Jones act more like Boomers and I really can’t relate to the true Boomers. Gen X is the one I relate to more easily, but often the people I meet are born in the late 70’s and act more like the Millennials. Maybe hanging with them will keep me young, haha 🤪

• Baby Boomers: born 1946 to 1964
• Generation Jones: born 1955 to 1965
• Generation X: born 1965 to 1980

[nashreed]

Oh, how I know what you mean, Boho. It is so incredibly boring talking about how hot it is, and one degree temperature variances. I can talk to my Mom and know exactly what she's going to say. At her age, I want to talk to her and engage with her to keep her mentally engaged, but its a challenge. She's very hard of hearing too, and my voice is terrible with no volume or "carry". It's not really possible to "joke" with her either. I so miss Annette. She was never ever boring- she always had something interesting to say, and we could laugh and I would try to say the dirtiest things I could think of to make her laugh. 

I wish I had someone to talk to as well. I hate small talk. I simply don't engage in it. I've just really become closed up and closed off from who Annette knew. 

[Gwenivere]

15 hours ago, Boho-Soul said:

Meaningful conversations enrich the fabric of our daily lives, right now the fabric of my life feels like a very loose weave. I  find most meaningless small-talk leaves me very unfulfilled. The conversations I miss don’t have to be complex or intellectual, they just need to have more substance.

I really hear you on that.  I was talking to people like they really cared for a long time until I realized I wasn’t getting much back.  One woman I talk to would go almost totally silent til I changed the subject to something light or about her.  Then I got it.  How it was Steve that filled every need.   Daily. Light stuff to the fate of the universe.  I so miss real laughing.  I miss ‘debating', ,the twists and turns when we agreed and would dig deeper into a philosophic topic.  I miss the gossip and guessing. I hear some here but about residents or staff, not people really in my life.  I have that somewhat with Dee, but she goes in circles a lot.  Point being, lost our best friend in every way.  This is another example.  

[nashreed]

I'm sorry Gwen. You deserve to be heard. You're a genuinely fascinating person and I'm sure your stories and insights would be entertaining and thought provoking. It was so sad- Annette would call her sister and father and they only ever just used her to talk about themselves and get her pearls of wisdom about their problems. I was the only one who ever listened to what she had to say. I loved listening to her. I would never get bored with what she had to say. 

I really, really try to be a good listener and even try to engage my family in different topics, but they just are on their own one track mind. I always know what they're going to say. Everyone only ever likes talking about themselves, but I don't. If I care about someone, I am really interested in them and their opinions, and history. Unfortunately, friends are impossible to find, even though I'm beyond talking about my grief. I'd settle for anyone to just text and say "Hi". I don't even mind getting those political texts asking for support and money. At least someone thought of me! (I know, not really) 

[kayc]

11 hours ago, nashreed said:

I don't even mind getting those political texts asking for support and money. At least someone thought of me! (I know, not really)

This brought me a smile!