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Feelling Really Sad


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i am not sure why but i am feeling as if my mom just died. it was 3 mos last week and by friday i was a mess. i can't shake it and i was hysterical today. i fell on the floor screaming. i just want my mom so bad. thank God i work in the evenings b/c this am i was a wreck. i found myself back to begging God to let me have her, i know she is dead but the sadness is so deep . i feel horrible and pray that i get some relief soon. i am really low and starting to doubt my faith. i am even having some horrible dreams which make me feel worse. please say a pray for me . thanks lori

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lori,

I know exactly how you feel I was in my yoga class and all this anger welled up inside me, i felt like banging on the floor, but i didnt, i just cried. Know that all the tears that wash over you are taking a little bit of the grief away, wave by wave. You are in my prayers

Karin

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Hi, Lori: I'm sorry to hear you've been having a tough time lately. I think of you a lot; I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It has seemed to me lately that things are getting worse for me instead of better. Do you think it's because we're coming up on the first holidays without our folks? My Dad's birthday is coming up on November 1st, so maybe that has a little bit to do with my situation. I just know the loneliness feels excruciating and the world is a much scarier place to me. Wishing you comfort and peace, Leann

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Lori, The three month mark was the absolute worst time for me. I came out of shock and realized that Josh was dead. It was horrible!! If you scroll back under Behaviors in Bereavement to June (I think page 5), Kathy D started a thread called the Three Month Mark. I think you may relate to how horrible we felt!! I'm so sorry it's so miserable. As cliche as it may sound, it really is one day at a time, anymore than that and it could make you crazy. Hugs, Kelly

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  • 2 weeks later...
:( My mommy just died on sunday. My brother sister & I were all in the room together with her talking about what else?? beauty salons & barbor shops! I was watching her but then noticed she stopped breathing! I was such a mess! I came from so far away & said to my sister the night before mommy was waiting for me to show up again before she died. i know it was true, but why was it me who had to discover her death?? Im so empty my tummy hurts & i feel lost. i loved my mommy but she was so hard she was so cold & she alwatys pushed me away. I feel like there was so much time wasted so much life wasted so much lost.i grieve so hard. My daddy died 8 years ago & it still hurts but doesnt feel as raw as my mother's death feels so raw right now- i feel sick, i feel cold. i feel lonely, i feel lost without my dady & mommy. 2many tears-
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lori - yes, that IS why you are feeling that way - your dads b-day. my first fathers day w/out my dad sent me into a tail spin ..i called a friend who had also lost her dad years ago. she made an interesting point....the body can recall a mental anguish or trauma long before the mind processes it. this made sense, as i was sick to my stomach for DAYS before the calendar read FATHERS DAY. i had requested fathers day off from work in anticipation of my mental state (i am a 911 operator & am responsible for remaining calm, professional, and ready to assist others in their most traumatic times). however, i couldnt pin point why i felt the way i did PHYSICALLY - nauseous, headache, tightness in the throat. i assumed it was a cold or flu..but i was also very weepy & sensitive w/ no logical explanation. when my friend suggested to me about the mind/body connection, i realized what was happening. so now, i request the days off BEFORE whatever IT is (fathers day, his birthday, ann. of his accident, ann. of his death, etc) and i go to the cemetary (alone) and REALLY let it out...i now work on the ACTUAL days, and i can make it through an entire shift w/out having to take numerous breaks to recuperate or go home early, which is progress for me. things do tend to get worse before they get better...and the process is different for all. you are not crazy and you are not weak - YOU ARE HUMAN. please know that, k?

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Hi, 2ManyTears:

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine experiencing what you have. This is a wonderful family we have here; I'm so glad you found us. I'm sending you a big hug through the computer and you're in my prayers this evening.

Wishing you comfort and peace,

Leann

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