Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups


Recommended Posts

It's been three months now, I had moments when I felt really good, but most of the time I'm just so angry.

I feel like somehow I'm in the way for people? I'm trying to be the same old me, but it's not working.

I'm really hurting my boyfriend, angry with him for nothing, he thinks I'm unfear. Life is unfear!!!

I miss my father, I really miss him so much that sometimes tears don't seams to be enough, screaming don't seams to be enough.

Also I'm thinking about death all the time, why do we have to die?

I really hope he is somewhere nice...

Everything feels pretty hopeless right now :(

If I only could have one last hug

Link to comment
Share on other sites


this was and is a hard time for me. it is just 4 mos this week for me. when i hit that 3 mos period i had the worst 2 weeks, i thought i would die from all the crying and pain. i didn't, i am not sure why it just hits us like that but i know it can be bad. its like a roller coaster. i understand about the screaming, there are days that i just scream so loud, thank God the windows are closed. i am also reading everything i can about death and the our afterlife. i have to believe there is more then this. i keep telling myself i will see my mom again. i just don't know how long it will be. keep on going, you can do it we are all here for you and feel the same so we understand. be patient with yourself. i will be praying for you. lori

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Jennie,

I can't really offer too much advise as I am only at the 3 week mark after losing my dad. I can just let you know that there are other people that feel the same way. I am feeling a badly for my boyfriend who i dont think understands that just because I am not crying constantly doesnt mean that I am over my dad's passing. I am trying my hardest to make it through each and everyday, trying to act like my "normal" self as well, and I think he's having trouble understanding that. I cry by myself now instead of in front of others, no one really seems to ask how I am anymore. It's hard because now is the time where I feel like I need the support but and everyone is finished giving it.

I dont think we will ever stop missing our dad's I just think eventually you dont think about it as much??? It's hard when you feel like your waiting for somthing to make everything better, and then you realize that is never going to happen. I like to think my dad is somewhere nice, I really hope he is. I wondered the other day if people who pass have to grieve for those of us still here?

I think about death a lot as well now, I used to be really afraid of dying, but now that I know there is a chance I will see my dad I'm not scared at all. I can completely relate to you saying that life seems really hopeless right now.

I hope that you find some comfort, and maybe trying talking to your boyfriend, letting him know that you are having a really hard time with all of this so he knows its not him making you angry. I have been to see a grief counselor a couple times, it seems to help a little, it gives you someone to talk to where you dont feel like you are being a burden.

Take care Chrystal

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Three months is such a short time. Everything that you are feeling are things that all of us have felt, believe me, so it is perfectly normal. Unfortunately, a lot of people just don't understand what we are going through. So we cry and scream and grieve in private. Chrystals idea of going to a grief counselor is a good one. I think we all have to talk to SOMEONE and when our friends or family aren't "available" or don't understand, then a counselor is good. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad a year and eight months ago and it is still hard sometimes. Grief takes a long time and is so hard to deal with. But, it will get a little easier as time goes by. Hang in there. And talk to us!

Hugs to you,


Link to comment
Share on other sites


Oh, I feel so bad for you. My Mom died 11 months ago yesterday. I know at 3 months I was crying a lot. I think a grief counselor is a good idea. I didn't go that route but I came here a lot and still do. This is a wonderful place. People understand here.

I know that when my Mom died I think my husband was freaked out and worried that I was going to just fall apart. I did feel like I did fall apart. I couldn't remember stuff. I made weird decisions. I don't know, it was just a different feeling. Now I am 11 months into this and I know I am better. I still miss my Mom more than anything. I cry still, but not as much. Sometimes I cry really hard and I feel better afterwards.

Just be good to yourself. Don't try and rush your grieving to accomodate others. If you're having a bad day, tell someone. Find a good friend willing to listen. The best ones are the ones who just let you talk and cry. You're going to be okay (I know it's hard to believe right now). We are always here for you.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi there, Jennie: I am so sorry for your loss. You're just beginning your journey; I felt (and still have my days) similarly to you. My Dad died suddenly and for that first month, I was numb. I would just sit in his rocking chair and rock all day long. After that first month, though, I started having feelings of anger. What you're feeling is normal....it just feels horrible, though.

Chrstal and Shell both made a good point about bereavement counseling. I have been going to bereavement counseling and I attend a support group in my area for adult children who have lost a parent. The counseling was very helpful to me. At the very least, I was given the "tools" for healthy grieving; it was helpful for me to know what to expect. It was also comforting to know that what I was/am feeling is completely normal and I'm not going crazy. You still have to do the grief work yourself, but having this information is empowering. I always knew that I would have a hard time when my Dad's time came. When he died, though, I wasn't prepared for the breadth and depth of what I was feeling; it was bewildering. But with my counselor's help and the support of my counterparts in group, I'm slowly regaining my equilibrium. I encourage anyone to seek this assistance out, especially if it's offered free of charge in your area. It's not a sign of weakness to seek this help; it's a sign of courage.

Wishing you comfort and peace,


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...