I'm New And Very Raw

[soaringwings]

hello

My name is joanie and my beloved husband died about 2 and a half weeks ago. Oct 25...I'm not keeping track of days any more.. He was sick for about 6 weeks and in hospice the last month of his life. It was a real shock to relaize cancer had exploded all thru his body..he went so quickly.

I guess I just need to read and be with people who dont keep asking me what can I do to help you.. I do not have biological family but have a few wonderful friends. I am an elementary school teacher.

But Mike and I were each others world.. I know he is with me and I know I am one day closer to seeing him again but the waves of grief feel like tidal waves.

Any advice any hope you can give me would be wonderful and I hope to be there to listen to all of you too. We were married 29 years.. had our 29th anniversary at hospice. if i can help any of you as we go thru this toegther, I'm here..joanie..soaringwings

[chrissy777]

Joanie,

I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer took my husband too. It is so hard to go through and somedays it seems inpossible to get through. I am in my fifth month without my darling husband and somedays are still so unbearable. We were married for 2 years. I hope you find help coming here and thank you for your understanding. We all are here for you too. It has helped me so much to have a place to go to and talk with others who understand. Take care of yourself.

[LarrysGirl]

Hello Joanie, I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and I know you are hurting terribly. This site is filled with people in your same circumstance, some very new, as you are, alittle further down the road. I think we all try to offer any thing we can to make this horrible ride not so lonely and unbearable. None of us have any magic words but I hope it helps some to know we understand what you are feeling and I'm just so sorry. Deborah

[spunkye]

Hi Joanie,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband, Mike. 29 years with someone is a long time, and the suddeness of his death must have been such a shock and so hard to deal with.

My husband, Dick, and I were married for 9 years - our tenth year anniversary is coming up in December, and he just passed away August 24. He, too, was in hospice - at our home for about three weeks before he died. It was truly one of the most excrutiating experiences of my life...and so unbelievable.

I miss him so much - and the pain is quite harsh - the only thing I can give you right now is my understanding and shared grief. For me, prayer has helped eased the pain somewhat - the huge tidal waves of grief keep coming, but reminding myself that God is with me and loves me - and that Dick is in heaven with Him - does help...

I'm sorry you had to find this site - but glad that you did. The people here are like family.

Love, Benita

[gabrielle_land]

Joanie,

I'm very sorry for your loss, words aren't enough to ease your pain, but we all know what you are feeling, and I want you to know that you are not alone, you came to teh right place and we all try to help each other as much as we can, and just coming and posting can sometimes take from you part of the heavy weight you carry through this painful time.

Your loss is still so very fresh that everything looks so out of place and specially when it comes so unexpected. 29 years of marriage is alot of time and I understand how hard it will be to adjust to a different life now, and grief is the worse company, but I pray God may give you the strength you need to keep on going in these difficult days.

I'm sure too Mike is with you and looking upon you now. Joanie you are welcomed here and we will go through this journey together.

I send you lots of love,

Gaby

[kayc]

Joanie,

I want to tell you how sorry I am that you lost your husband. 2 1/2 weeks is so fresh, what you are going through has got to be the hardest thing in the world. I was about that far along in my grief journey when I found this site and it has been a godsend.

"I know he is with me and I know I am one day closer to seeing him again" I love how you put that, just try to keep remembering that. The only advice I know is to do one day at a time...or one moment or whatever you can handle...and try not to be overly alone, force your way out now and then. And come to this site. There are a lot of good books that Marty and Walt and John (Dusky) have recommended that have been helpful. Remember that whatever you are feeling is normal and we have been there and want to help you through it. God be with you in your journey.

[dpodesta]

Joanie,

I am sad to hear of your loss, but am glad that you found this site. It is filled with lots of kind and loving people that will be here for you as you go through this. Realize that you may feel all alone at times, but you aren't. There are so many here. May God hold you in his arms and allow you to feel peace as you journey this long road.

Derek