walter/Erica Posted October 6, 2007 Report Share Posted October 6, 2007 hello Friends, i have had a bad week. Went walking around a mall today and so desperately felt the need to hear someone say to me that I needed to push on, that there is something to live for, that I must not give up....Just feeling so empty and alone, so directionless, so anxious about a future without Walter.It will be 7 months on Monday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted October 6, 2007 Report Share Posted October 6, 2007 It sure sound like you need a friendly hug, so here it is. You won't give up and Walter wouldn't want you to. It's very lonely to be without someone you care so much about. I know you hear this often, but it does get better. Your burden will lessen. Just remember you have friends here to lean on whenever you need them. Just keep on keeping on. You'll make it.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzanne Posted October 6, 2007 Report Share Posted October 6, 2007 So sorry you have had a bad week. My seven months was last Tuesday. Last night was the most sleepless I have had in a long time. Even in a mall I too feel so lonely. When you see the couples walking around together, holding hands and knowing it is the weekend when that used to be you and your husband. Just tears your heart out all over again. It is almost like you are invisible and walking in some other world. I went to pieces walking by the greeting card section of Wal Mart because I passed the section for husband and thought, I'll never be buying one of those again. But I still believe there is hope for a brighter tomorrow. And if it is not tomorrow maybe the next day. So many here have asssured me of that and that gives me a reason to live. Just know that I am thinklng of you. Keep pushing on. As Karen said, it's not what Walter would want as I know it's not what Will would want for me. We have to keep trying. Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 I am sorry that you feel the way you do, I feel similar to that and desperation,thinking this has to end, my 7 months was last week also and since then I been in a daze. I wish I could give you a hug and cry with you, its hard but we all have gone further than we ever imagined Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 William....It sounds like you need a friendly hug, too. I'm sorry you're feeling down. Well, it's Saturday night....today's weather was very dreary, I worked all day on my courtroom transcription, fed the dog, fixed a sort of dinner and sat there and ate it looking at Jack's chair, just did nothing to make myself feel better, except get a bunch of groceries to my son. Well, isn't that a great day!!! It would be so nice to have a day that felt really good. I feel...I think the word is copasetic (sp?). Just hanging on like the rest of you. I wish you would experience a good feeling....know how much your wife loved you....walk....paint a picture....listen to some good music, etc. You're a good person, William, try and have a peaceful evening, and I'm not going to tell you to take your pills!!Love you my friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 OHH Karen, I do need a hug so badly, you had a quiet day it seems, I went to a yard sale the next apartments over and saw 10 bikes for sale and thought, well I need to get in shape again so I bought a nice mountain bike and went riding for awhile, its been 9 years and wow it felt good. my father is a pain as usual, I post it later You are a good friend too Karen, always there when I needed it most. Have a good nite too my friend.William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 (edited) Hey guys, just got home alittle while ago from sitting with my 93 year old Grandmother. She lives with my Mom so we have been taking turns sitting with her and sleeping there as she can't be alone for prolonged periods of time as she has dementia and Alzheimers. They might let my Mom go home tomorrow, but they still don't have all the results back, we do know she does have Lupus but they still have suspicions there may be cancer too, the pet scan should show more. I do not know how she is going to go home, she gets so winded from just alittle walking and my grandmother will ask the same questions 100 times in an hour which will drive my mothers blood pressure through the roof ! Any how it is after midnight which means it is the 7th, and that makes it 7 months since Steve passed. I need a hug tonight too guys, and a tissue, I miss my Steve, I miss my life the way it was, I am dreading all the firsts that are coming up etc. just like some of you. Has anyone figured out how to wake up this this horrible dream we are all having together ? Love,Wendy P.S. Oh geez I forgot my meds, I wonder if someone else out there took his? Hint hint hint !!! Edited October 7, 2007 by WendyJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 Wendy, good to hear from you, Lets hope that she will come home with good health and maybe freelance nurse can come by to take care of your mother so she will have some time to recuperate. Life is so different, I wish it could be 2005 when everything was good and well. picture me giving you a hug and tissue, I wish we could cry together as a group. Well I been taking my meds so far Hugs to everyone!!William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 Thanks so much William, I would love a hug today on this anniversary and I have been busy trying to keep my mind off of what day it is. I am glad you are remembering your meds, I have been too but not always right on time but I am getting better. Sometimes reminding you helps me remind myself !Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzanne Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 WendyGlad to hear your mother may be able to come home tomorrow. I'm sure she will rest better there. I know today is going to a tough day for you. I wish I did know how to wake up from this nightmare. We just have to keep going. Someway, somehow. We will find it eventually.Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 I am so sorry to hear that you are having a bad day. i know how hard those days can be when it seems like nohting is right anymore. You do have a purpose and you are needed here. I am praying for you and here is a big hug. Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 Good Afternoon everyone. Well my Mom is home, they found something very suspicious in her PET scan so I believe they are going to want to do a biopsy some day this week. They are not sure if it is cancerous or if it is just inflamation. I just hope she doesn't get too stressed by my Grandmother's never ending questions and silly things she does with her Alzheimers, it can get very trying to handle. If you can please keep her in mind with your prayers, I would really appreciate it.Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzanne Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 WendyMy prayers are with your mother and you. So glad she is at home. Hopefully it is only inflammation. Take care.Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted October 7, 2007 Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 Wendy, I am glad that your Mom is home. I have you and your Mom in my thoughts and prayers! I will also pray for her peace in dealing with the 100 questions.Hugs & prayers, CorinneWilliam,Did you take your meds today? Hugs & prayers, Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Good she is home now, I'll say a prayer for you two, P.s. I don't recall taking the meds today William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 William, It's very inexpensive to buy a plastic container that will hold a week's meds....it might do you good to buy one so if you don't remember. you just have to look at the container. I would be happy to buy you a couple, one for the day and one for the night. You can email me your address....I'd love to do that for you, just let me know....I know it will help, please!Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Karen, I am sorry I do have a daily pillbox the size of a standard sheet of paper Myrna bought for me last year, my problem is I get sidetracked alot, more now than ever, I consume alot of pills daily, bipolar pills, chrohns pills, and diabetes pills and some other ones for blood pressure, I usually don't feel very good and thinking maybe, I inadvertently "forget" maybe I can program the computer to remind me or something.. your friend William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Good idea, or something that's out of the ordinary and changes so you don't get used to it....I used to put a boot on the table, which I don't usually do, to remind me of something I needed to do. We have to think how to trigger you....make your mind wake up when it needs to....let's put our heads together, you guys, and help William (probably many of us, also) to think of daily ways to remember things we JUST HAVE TO DO! Brainstorming is good, huh? Let's go....is that okay, William?Your friend, Karen You know, I'm so tired tonight....I'm going to go to bed and maybe read "The Purpose Driven Life." That sounds good. William and everyone I just love you guys, thank you for being there.K Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Karen,I have a hard time with words, you mean so much to me too, I was becoming really down tonite and felt I should turn on my laptop, and you helped me through a difficult night, I have alot to do, clean the house throughly get rid of so much clutter, I don't stay home long enough to do it like anything else but its a downer isn't it? thats my #2 on the list. I hope you rested well, thanks for being a godsend..Hugs,William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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