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Don't Care Anymore

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This past Friday I was supposed to have my first appointment with a therapist.

I drove there early to settle the insurance stuff and learned that he didn't accept my type of insurance. I was so bummed I wanted to break down. Everything had been riding on my finally being able to get the help that I needed and being able to speak with someone, and it fell through.

On top of that, my sister took a sabbatical with her boyfriend to New Orleans to witness the premier of a movie she costarred in. I had to spend three days with my Grandparents. Eeuggghhhhhhhhhhhh..........

After that herculean task was over I set up an appointment for this afternoon with a councilor at the family health center where my mother used to work. Driving there my breaks went out and I skidded off of the road, so I had to cancel. I called the lady and apologized, and she said that the only time she could fit me in would be the twentieth of next month. Eeuggggghhhhhhhhhh

If there were one word that I could use to describe my life right now it would be, inconvenient. Nothing seems to be working out at all, and worse yet, I don't care anymore. I don't care if I wake up tomorrow, I don't care about anything anymore. I don’t know why, but I just don’t.

I need some help, and I need it, like yesterday.

Hope you're all OK( or some version of it).

Christian (The Duke)

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I am sorry all of this is happening to you all at once. The question I have for you is are you sucidal? If you are, I know there is a sucide hot line available, also most therapists will fit you into their schedule earlier when there is a possibilty of you doing harm to yourself. The other suggestion I have is call your insurance company, they can give you names of therspits in your area that accept your insurance. I am surprised that they didn't ask you about insurance when you made the appointment, when I was looking for one for my son that is one of the questions they had at the begining. I hope this helps and I hope you start to feel better, I know how over whelming it can be.

Love always


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You're sure having to deal with a lot at such a young age. How far are you from New Orleans...I thought you were somewhere far north, like the Yukon. I guess that would be "Yukon Duke." Sorry, not a very funny joke. Are you checking into other therapists. The counselor sounds good, but November 20th? At least you're working on it. I'm glad you didn't get hurt when your brakes went out. Well, you know, things seem to come in bunches, let's hope it's just "threes" for you - the insurance problem, your brakes, and the counselor appointment.

Christian, I know you care. You'll wake up tomorrow and you will say to yourself, "This will be a better day today than yesterday." And it will. I know you need help and you'll get it. Do you have some work or something to keep you busy in your day? Keeping busy is really important. In your herculean three-day visit with your grandparents, did anything at all good come out of it? It must be pretty hard for them to relate to someone your age....are they very elderly?

Okay, I want you to find something you like to do....there must be something, and try to stick with it a little to get your mind off things. We're here for you so please come back and let us know what's happening. Take care, Christian.

Your friend, Karen :wub:;)

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My natural reaction to cluster-f**ks like you describe is usually something along the lines of, "I don't need this s**t!" Oddly enough, though, in ways, it turns out that I do (pardon me while I mutter ruefully for a moment).

It turns out that what feels to you like "not caring anymore" is often just that you're learning detachment. Buddhists call it "not being attached to outcomes". It is subtly different from apathy, and very paradoxical until you get the hang of it. Why we must learn such things through the un-gentle offices of suffering and aggravation, I don't pretend to know. You'd think there would be an easier way.

Sometimes you see more clearly out of the corner of your eyes than straight on. Sometimes you don't get what you want until you stop struggling to get it.

No, I don't like it either, but life seems to want to work this way, very often.

Try to be patient, and I'll bet it will sort itself out presently.

Boy, I can't believe I'm dispensing advice like that ... I must have crossed some sort of Rubicon here ...


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Karen, Derek, and Bob gave you such great advice that I'm not going to add anything to it. I will say that I often have that "I just don't care" feeling and I still bumble along through my daily life, and in some ways, it's easier when I feel that way. I think it's our overly stressed minds way of giving us a rest. I also want to say that you have to realize that many of us, especially the older women (like me!) on the board, feel very "motherly" toward you and we all care deeply about you. So you have quite a few "surrogate moms" here! Hang in there, sweetie!

A big hug,


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I know life can be cruel and it isn't fair. Everyone has offered you such good advice. I will only add one thing, my dad taught me. Life is full of peaks and valleys. You WILL get on top of the hill again, it is all a part of this journey we call life. Take care and hang in there, much love to you...Deonna

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