A Wish And A Prayer For This Grief Site

[LarrysGirl]

Last night after reading some of the posts I felt I needed to start a new topic, a fresh start today, for this site. It seemed there were lots of difference of opinions and feelings were getting hurt. This is so unnecessary and not the purpose of this site.

This is a grief "support" site. Not a Christian grief support site, not any denomination, just grief support. When I first came here, I was so lost and am so thankful for the support I received. I worry that "new" members who are grieving and read some of these posts, will not take part or find the support they need at such a sad time. We each have our own way of grieving and we come here for support. If your faith is what works for you, then great, but please keep in mind that it may not be what everyone wants to hear when they've recently lost their spouse or partner. You may be surprised to know I was raised in the church and my father was a Methodist minister. But losing Larry has shaken my beliefs and my faith. When I come here I want to share my pain and sorrow and hope that others will show compassion and kindness. Being open to how others are finding their way and supporting their journey, just hoping they find some peace, is all I want for each and every one of you. It comforts me when Larry finds a way to show he is still with me and whether you believe in signs or not, is not the question. If that is what comforts another, then so be it. It doesn't have to be one way or the other, grief is the common denominator on this site, and "support" and compassion is what is needed.

My greatest concern for this site, is for the people who are following in our footsteps and are desperately needing a "safe" place to say how they are feeling. My hope is that they will receive love, kindness and compassion from others who do understand. Deborah

[dpodesta]

Debroah,

I thing that we are all on the same page. I know for me I share what I have experienced, that is the only thing I know. What I know for me is that my faith in God is what got me through everything. At the begining, yes my faith was shaken and I felt that God wasn't with me. Since that time I have found otherwise. I think that most of us that are Christians know that this site is not a Christian site, however we are sharing our experiences which involves God. However I am fully aware that what works for me may not work for someone else, but I share just in case someone out there whose faith is shaken may at some time find thier way back to peace. I don't judge anyone here, as I know that it doesn't work the same for everyone.

Love always

Derek

[karenb]

Good words, Deborah. Support is what everyone needs.

Your friend, Karen

[kayc]

Deborah,

It is good that you shared that, you are right on. I don't think people who have a faith in God need to be apologetic for it nor keep quiet about it, but we must always be respectful of each other and our differences, and the important thing is that whatever our religion, beliefs, or faith, that we be able to support and encourage each other in our grief journey and that we feel comfortable sharing with one another. We have learned so much from each other and it's extremely important that this place be seen as a safe place to turn to.

[WaltC]

This is a grief "support" site....I worry that "new" members who are grieving and read some of these posts, will not take part or find the support they need at such a sad time. We each have our own way of grieving and we come here for support. If your faith is what works for you, then great, but please keep in mind that it may not be what everyone wants to hear when they've recently lost their spouse or partner.....grief is the common denominator on this site, and "support" and compassion is what is needed.

Deborah

Thank You Deborah - Usually an Anonymous User

Edited November 28, 2007 by WaltC

[Art]

Hi Deborah and all,

I just want to add that I came to this site looking for a place where I could feel comfortable expressing my heartfelt pain without the fear of offending anyone. I can assure everyone the last thing in the world that I want at this time is to offend anyone. So far I have found exactly that kind of place on this forum. I sincerely feel that as adults we should be able to accept our differences without getting our feelings hurt. We have enough hurt already. I for one would never try to force my religious views on anyone, however, I do think we should feel free to express our views to the extent necessary to open our hearts to others or to just let others know what we feel for them. I have the greatest respect for everyone's right to their own views whether on the subject of religion or politics or anything else. Religion,however, is an integral part of the healing process for many of us and perhaps not at all for others. While I respect anyone's views I reserve the right to use every good and honorable means I can to heal the ache in my heart and fill the emptiness in my life. If my expression of religion is offensive to anyone, first I would expect them to tell me and second I would immediately apologize. This is simply to express my opinion and honestly not meant as an affront to anyone.

I feel that what we have in common here is more important than the differences we may find in one another. Lets stick together and do all we can for others as well as ourselves.

Art

[kayc]

Art, well put.

[suzanne]

Thank you Deborah, well said. I have found so much compassion and support from everyone. We do all have one common bond and need to keep holding each other up.

Suzanne

[DesertBob]

Deborah,

I'll confess that some good-natured but moderately spirited debate has been on tap of late and one or two people were taken aback. But even at that, this forum is a cream puff compared to kicking, biting and nail scratching on the vast majority of online fora. Trust me.

That said, I agree that we want to keep it inviting and avoid even the appearance of being judgmental, so we've probably had enough philosophical speculating for awhile. We need to remember that feelings are extra tender here. Besides, little has been left unsaid on the topic in question and I think we've all agreed that whatever our private reservations we respect each other and can leave "to each his or her own".

--Bob

My greatest concern for this site, is for the people who are following in our footsteps and are desperately needing a "safe" place to say how they are feeling. My hope is that they will receive love, kindness and compassion from others who do understand.

[suzanne]

My dearest friends

Please let us all pull together. I have to admit after reading last night I spent yet another sleepless night for fear I had driven away what few friends I had remaining. This is so wrenching and agonizing I can't help but seek what small comfort I can find. This is a safe haven that I look so forward to coming to. All of you are so much a new found family and I cherish the love and compassion I feel here and I am thankful for Marty that has made it possible for us to come together and share our loss. My hope is we never lose touch and continue to share our sorrows as well as happiness that we may find. After all, we are the only ones who truly "get it" and are "the ones left behind" (I prefer that to widow/widower in an earlier post I did sounds like an insect).

Your friend

Suzanne

Wendy

See you here. You doing okay? Did you take your meds (and you too William)

Suzanne

[Art]

Suzanne,

I share your feelings about the people here and I too hope that we stay together for the good of each of us. I made the statement to a friend a few weeks ago that if I didn't find someone to talk to I didn't think I could hold it together much longer. I feel I have found the place and the people I can talk to and I believe it is already having a positive effect in my life. I know I still have miles to go, but I think I have now found the direction.

[karenb]

I feel very strongly about my new friends here. It's important to me to be able to express happiness, sorrow, confusion, or whatever and know that my feelings are okay with everyone. I appreciate you all very much and thanks for being friends.

Karen

[WendyJ]

Deborah you wrote that so well ! When I first joined this site I almost unjoined immediately as I thought this was just a Christian religious site from the way everyone was talking. Thank goodness I stuck around long enough to realize I had found alot of good people whom I now love and have given me most of my support ! I love the fact that you can speak freely here and just when you think someone is going to think you are a fool for feeling a certain way someone comes along and says " Me too" and you think "Oh thank goodness I am not crazy!" When everyone gets deep into the religous talk I do not get involved and I remind myself this is everyones site no matter what the subject is. I do agree with you when I joined this site it was not to find religion but support for my aching heart but I guess if you want to believe that your loved ones went to heaven then that opens up the conversations. Anyone out there who is just lingering and needs some support and wants to cry along with the rest of us, talk to us. Just reading these posts will not give you the support you need. This group is a wonderful family and I do know I would not have come this far if it had not been for all of you. Deb you get an big hug from me for your post !!!

Love,

Wendy

P.S. Crap Suzanne thanks for reminding me ! Oh dear don't tell Derek..shhhhh !

[Corinne]

Hi Everyone!

I have to laugh for a moment. This site is just like a big caring family. When one of us feels hurt by something that is being discussed everyone comes together to reaffirm our love for each other. This is what family is all about. You are all the best!

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

Wendy I'm sure you went and took your meds when Suzanne reminded you but William did you take your meds today?