Gail_R Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Hi Everyone well we are almost done another weekend. Today my daughter come and got me to go and do some christmas shopping...not really into it. Walked around but the mall was so busy and I guess I was just not in the mood to shop so I saw nothing that really interested me so with that said I bought very little. I just cann't seem to get in the mood to do any christmas shopping this year. Any other year I would have so many ideals that I would ran out of money before I would ideals but not this year. Just thinking about christmas this year give me a headache....am I the only one that feels like this?? Breaks my heart when I walk by the mens shop that I would have gone in and bought something for Bruce from that store. Or I see couples walking around holding hands and I think that should be Bruce and I. Weekends are so hard when you are without your beloved other half. As I'm sitting here tonight it is snowing outside and the wind is blowing just makes me miss Bruce so much more. Nights like this we would curl up on the couch and watch a movie together eating popcorn and having a great time toghether. What a differance one year can make last year we where out christmas shopping together,going out to christmas parties and now it is just me. How I miss him. Life sure is not what I thought it would be. Thanks guy's for letting me vent. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Gail I am right there with you as usual my friend. I will not go to the mall this year for that reason, I am doing all my shopping on line. I too am so jealous seeing all the couples happily walking and holding hands and laughing. I too am jealous when I see a family outside decorating their house together or walking into a restaurant for a nice meal together. It is so sad that the world just goes on but you know if you think about it at some point in our lives when our spouses were here and we were out someplace there probably was some widow/widower watching us thinking they miss those days too, we are not alone. We are getting ready for a storm here too, Corinne and I are supposed to both get ice tomorrow and I should be getting a few inches of snow with the ice. So my fireplace is going and some candels lit and I am ready too and missing Steve sitting here with me to watch a movie with our popcorn. Such a sad night Gail, isn't it?Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Hi Gail, You sound just like me, except I'm about two years down the road. I don't go to malls unless I have to and I get out faster than I got in. I've been doing anything online through my accounts at Penny's, etc. Other than that I go to boutiques, other places where I don't have all the crowds. My husband just loved to shop, groceries, anything, so he did it all and I tagged along giving him ideas where he needed them. It's such a hard time of year. Even after just over two years I thought I'd be further along but I'm probably just where I should be. I hate this stuff called YUKKY snow up here in the Pacifid NW. I'm on my hill up here..stuck. I really do not like this at all. I'd be watching a movie with Jack but I'll go down and brush my dog instead. I guess it's called....Oh, Well! I guess we just keep going on and going on. You take care tonight and don't go out in the weather.Love, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted December 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Wendy I hear you. It's fun that you say that about other couples I was thinking the samething. Last year and all the other years before that I never thought of widows/widowers being by themselves...guess you have to be here to understand Here too they are saying that we are to get some bad weather for the next few day's YUK hate the wind don't mind the snow but NO BLOWING PLEASE. When the wind blows if we any amount of snow the roads are closed and that I hate. Well Wendy stay warm tonight. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 You too Gail, I guess it is just another snowy lonely ole' Saturday night for you and I. Hey let's do a girls sleepover, I'll just fly right up to Canada and we can make popcorn and we can have a glass of wine and do eachothers hair and makeup...just like back in highschool, okay???Love,WendyP.S. Karen I didn't see your post, wanna go with me to Gails tonight? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted December 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Karen I don't do much online shopping. Like to see what I'm buying...but this year it might not be a bad ideal. This weather drives me crazy that the best of times. I remember when Bruce was still alive and it would snow and blow and the roads would be closed and he would say to me bet that you want to go out driving right I would laugh at him and say god you know we to well. If the sun is out and the weather is good I can stay in the house for day's but give me bad weather and I go crazy in the houseLOL. Well Karen stay warm tonight and thanks for being there for me again tonight. Gail Wendy I think that is one hell of a good ideal. Thanks for the laugh I sure need that. It's funny that you would say sleepover because that is what my and 2 other friends are going to do after the holiday's at my house...order chinses food a glass or 2 of wine and a good chick flick oh yes and our pj's. well hope that you have a goodnight. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Gail....I'm always here for you. My Jack was a very cozy, wonderful husband that I'd love to spend shut in time with in the bad weather. You take care...try and have good thoughts and stay warm.Love you, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Gail that is what my sister and I did this year on mine and Steve's wedding anniversary the end of April. It had only been a month since Steve had passed and I knew it would be unbearable to be alone. So she came over and we got in our PJ's and played Monopoly and had some snacks and strawberry daiquiris and had alot of fun. She really helped keep my mind off our anniversary and then we did it again in May for my birthday. Nite nite Gail keep warm and think good thoughts...you too Karen.Love You,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted December 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Thanks Wendy and Karen for being here tonight and having someone to talk to. But it's getting late not sure what time it is were you gal's are but it's 12:15am here way past my bedtime. So night and hope to be talking to you again. Gail ps Madison is stting here waiting for me to go to bed so I had better not keep her up any longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Goodnight Gail, it is the same time for me too...12:15. Give Madison a kiss for me and a big (((HUG))) for you my friend and put that extra blanket on the bed. Nite NiteLove,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 HI GAIL Life sure is not what we thought it would be .So many broken dreams and it hurts so much when you see couples holding hands and no arms around you .There are times when I realise the tragedy I wonder how Im still alive.Holidays are so depressing trying to work alot so I dont feel the time I fully understand every word you say I wish there is help and hope TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted December 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Teny you are so right life is not what we thought it would be. It is hard to loss the love of our lifes but I am finding that with christmas just around the corner it makes it double hard. Christmas was Bruce's favorite holiday with everyone getting together...he being a farm boy the big christmas eve and christmas day dinner and everyone under the same roof that is what he loved about christmas. I hope that things get better for all of us. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 Don't you wish we could all be together for the holidays. everyone here understands and we can talk about our loved ones as much as we want. sometimes it is so hard , people have moved on and they dont't want to hear those stories anymore. i just keep talking about her and i will til the day i die.By the way we had our first snow here in Howell, NJ not alot but a covering, it is so cold. WE are off today to deliver present to a family we adopted whose 4yr old son has cancer. We did this in memory of my mom. lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted December 3, 2007 Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 Lori wouldn't that be great? We could even do a grab bag and have a pot luck dinner. I just don't know how I am going to get through it, I am scared to death !Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted December 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 Wendy I know exactly how you feel. Like I was saying yesterday I went to the mall with my daugther on sat. and just could not get out of there fast enough. My heart is just not into christmas this year. We all went to my mom and dad's on friday night and put up their tree and when I got home I cried myself to sleep thinking that Bruce would not be here this year. I don't know about anyone else but I still have a hard time with beleiving that he is gone..I know that it is true because for the last 10 1/2 months he as been gone but sometimes my mind does not want to believe it does anyone else feel like this. Sometimes I think that I am crazy. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted December 3, 2007 Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 Wendy We are all here for each other so we will help each other get through it. this time of yr is so hard, everyone is happy and our minds are filled with what could of been. i am praying everyday for each one of you. love lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzanne Posted December 3, 2007 Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 Thank goodnesss we are all here together to face the holidays. I am so dreading it. I haven't been near a mall. The grocery store is bad enough. Playing Christmas music, decorations. It's all I can do to finish my shopping, make a hasty exit before crying. Gail, I sort of come and go wth the realization that Will is not coming back and I think on Christmas it is going to hit hard. But we will make it through it. It is such a comfort to come here and hear the same things I'm feeling or else I would feel like I was crazy.Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted December 3, 2007 Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 Well, it's been over two years now....the load is less, but I still miss my husband. I wouldn't put up my little 2 ft. tree but my son will vixit me and that wouldn't be fair to him. On top of it all we are in the middle of another storm. It's 80-100 mph winds on the coast...not quite so bad here inland but it looks like night out and it's 9:30 in the morning. Power was out but back on again....it's sure miserable here. At least the snow is gone for now. Take heart, you guys, it'll get better.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosanne Posted December 3, 2007 Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 I too am dreading the holidays- my sweet mom is not with us.... My heart aches for her. I find times, like watching t.v. and a commercial will come on or someone will say something, and I get the sickest feeling in my stomach- it is like it is in the pit... it is a broken heart. I so wish we could all be together, that would be so wonderful... Noone understands unless they have gone through it. I do not want to hear Christmas songs- I was in a store the other day, and I was crying at the register to I'll be home for Christmas... I thought I would pass out before I got out of that store!!Last Christmas, my daughter made reservations for vacation for her and her husband and me and my husband, that was when mom got such a great report- it is time to leave this Thurs. and I will be gone until the following Tues. I do not want to go.......God Bless You ALL!Rosanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 3, 2007 Report Share Posted December 3, 2007 I remember my first Christmas without George...I had planned on doing a little memorial thing for him in me and the kids' celebration, where we told about memories with him, but...On Christmas eve I got a call from his best friend's wife, Netti, and she told me that the ring I had bought George for a wedding present (not his wedding ring, but it was a gift to him on our wedding night and it was very valuable), that the reason I couldn't find it was because he'd pawned it. I was so upset after I got off the phone with her, I cried and cried, and I didn't feel like doing anything to memorialize him after that, I was so upset. It took me a few months to realize that she was wrong, that her and her husband actually ended up with the ring and they were trying to throw me off track. And these were his best friends! That is one of the worst Christmases I have ever had. But I finally came to realize that as low as he had sunk with deceiving me, he hadn't sunk that low! It is hard enough getting through the holidays and missing them, but to be told something like that is just too much. I guess there's all kinds out there and some don't have a conscience.I have found that the Christmases to come have slowly gotten better as we get more used to things, but it does take time. The only advice I have is getting support here, find some meaning in the holiday by helping others or focusing on the meaning of Christmas, and surround yourself with those that make you most comfortable, your kids or friends. Our thoughts and prayers are going to be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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