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Posted

My Dear Grief Site friends,

At the end of July 2008, Jack will have been gone three years and it has taken nearly all of that time to write a book, which is a tribute to him. It has been a wonderfully healing and cathartic experience to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper.

The book has now been printed and available for purchase. However, please remember that this is in no way a solicitation for you to go out and buy this book. You can read it free of charge simply by going to a local library, giving them the title of the book and the ISBN number and requesting them to purchase the book. This way you could read it free of charge. This endeavor has never been about money. It has always been about healing me and helping others heal. It is about remembering Jack and fostering his legacy.

For those of you who wish to order the book there are a number of ways to do so:

1.The publisher is Wheatmark in Tucson, Arizona, and the special link via the internet for ordering the book is: (Click on the link below and it will take you there)

http://www.wheatmark.com/merchant2/merchan...e=9781604940114

This is probably the easiest way to obtain the book - and at the moment, this is the only way to order the book – through Wheatmark – the publisher.

During the course of the next two weeks, more action will be taken by Wheatmark to make the book available through other means. Wheatmark is now in the process of making the book available to online bookstores through the wholesaler, Ingram (a main bookstore distributor). Then various book stories pick up the information from Ingram automatically over the course of about 2-3 weeks after Wheatmark has advised them about the books availability. The book will then be available as indicated below at these other sites:

2.Through any of the following internet sites - Amazon.com, Borders.com, Barnes & Nobles.com, Target.com, and BookAMillion.com.

3.You should also be able to go into any of your local bookstores – provide them with the title of the book, author, ISBN number and they should be able to order the book for you.

Title: “Finding My Banana Bread Man – a journey through mourning.”

Author: John R. Davis

ISBN #: 978-1-60494-011-4

Cost: $20.95 – Available only in paperback

Length: It is 251 pages in length including 40 pictures of Jack and my life together.

Web Site: http://www.FindingMyBananaBreadMan.com – This web site has also been established to promote this book. You can also order the book via this web site, as there is a link within this site that will take you to the publisher (Wheatmark) to purchase the book. The web site is also a visual tribute to Jack’s memory. (Click on the link above - or cut and paste it is necessary - and it will take you there)

Although the site was established to promote the book, it is so much more and is filled with helpful hints, inspiration and music. Especially note the “Inspiration” tab as it is filled with music to help you heal. Many of the pictures in the “Picture” tab also take you to music.

________________________________________________________________

At times, this book was very difficult to write. However, for every tear that was shed in creating this memoir there was also a smile and splendid memory of Jack.

The book was written for the following multiple reasons:

1.To provide a living legacy (a written history) of Jack. He was definitely a personality worth remembering. This book does that.

2.To provide a means to heal myself – which it has most successfully accomplished.

3.To allow other grieving souls a blue print as to how to grieve. We American males have so much to learn about how to grieve.

4.To foster the ideals of healing by using the gift of recall – and remembering - as opposed to “letting go”, ”burying the past” and “running from a loss.”

5.To provide documented evidence of the tragic events that unfolded in Jack and my life – and to show that in spite of it all neither Jack nor I were victims of what happened but rather victors when all was said and done.

6.To provide as best I can my indignation over the lack of funding for the type of cancer that took Jack from us, and to point out elements of hospital malfeasance that made Jack’s journey and mine almost unbearable at times.

7.Lastly – but most importantly – to provide Jack’s granddaughters with an unbelievable image of their heritage and the man Madison once called Papa Jack. This book is eventually the ultimate living legacy for his granddaughters. When all is said and done – there is no better way I could have spent the last few years – than to provide this glimpse at the true essence of the man who was a father for 35 years, my mate for 27, and a Papa to his granddaughters for far too few.

Following is a short description of the book:

Finding My Banana Bread Man – A Journey Through Mourning - takes you on a voyage of two men in a 27-year committed relationship. It is a saga of not only the 10-month illness of Jack, but also the period following his death and the turmoil and grief the author endured. A brain tumor and blindness are elements of the illness, which will leave you saddened at the effect it had on Jack but marvel at his ability to cope with these disabilities and find humor and peace in spite of these affections. It is a two and a half year period of shock, despair, loss, loneliness and searching as well as remembrance, revelation, progression and hope. In addition to the story, poetry is the element that ties together each of the thirteen chapters, and allows the reader to visit all the emotions of losing a mate. It guides the reader through an intimate look at the personal emotions and family issues associated with this type of loss. It allows the reader to see hope in spite of the tragedy of illness and death. Progression and hope are eventually found as the story concludes. It is more than a narrative on death, dying, and poetry. It is a love story, which concludes with John eventually Finding His Banana Bread Man – and Finding Himself.

My best to each of you and may you always remember that ….

"Beauty that dies the soonest has the longest life. Because it cannot keep itself for a day, we keep it forever. Because it can have existence only in memory, we give it immortality there". ~Bertha Damon (A Sense of Humus)

Love,

John - Dusky is my handle on here

Love you Jack - The creation of this book was for you.

Posted

Dusky

I have just ordered my copy. I look so forward to reading it. You are such a gifted writer and your words have helped so many of us on this dark, lonely journey. Thank you for writing it and letting us be a part of yours and Jack's life together.

Suzanne

Posted

Dusky,

I was just on your website what a talented man you are all your words are so inspiring and uplifting and I cant wait to read your book. Congratulations on all your hard work and know that Jack is so proud of you just as we all are.

Love,

Marlene

Posted

Dusky,

The website you have created is so beautiful! It is a true testament of your love for Jack and what a wonderful person he was and still is in the hearts and minds of those that love him. I have ordered my copy of the book and cannot wait to receive it. Thank you so much for sharing yours and Jack's life with us.

Hugs & prayers, :wub:

Corinne

Posted

John,

Thank you for sharing that with us, we all look forward to reading it!

KayC

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I went to your website and read everything. i cried the entire time. what a wonderful human being you are and jack also . through your writing i can feel the love that the two of you shared. you have touched my soul. i will order the book . thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. God Bless Lori

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