Its Nice But Makes Things A Little Harder

[Guest Gamer205]

Hi Everyone,Does anyone besides me have dreams of people that you spent time with that you lossed?

I've got anymore in the dreams I know its a dream but it makes loseing that person that much harder at times and then you think of them even more,I've heard that if you have had someone on your mind a lot that your more likely to dream about that person I don't know if thats true or not,

Its Nice to feel for just a moment that your with that person again but then when you wake up you realize that it was another one of those dreams of a moment that you shared with that person,

I'm sorry if I ramble a little to much,I do try to stay postive but its NOT always easy to do or sometimes you just refuse and give in to the loss I don't know if anyone else feels like this at times,

Thanks for your time.

Gamer205-Robert Fraley

[MartyT]

Hi Robert ~ The topic of dreams has come up many times in our forums, so you are not alone in wondering about this. To find some of the earlier posts, just type in the words "grief dreams" in the search engine (the box at the top of the main page that says Enter words to search...), then click "Go" and see what comes up.

[Guest Gamer205]

Thanks MartyT,I'll check it out.

[karenb]

Hi Robert,

Marty's certainly right.....we all have those dreams - sometimes pleasant, sometimes disturbing. It seems our minds are always at work. I hope things are going pretty well for you. My husband will have been gone 3 years the end of July, so my life is much better. I do volunteer work, go to Bible study once a week, church, exercise 3 times a week, starting my usual vegetable garden - always try to keep busy. And I have my wonderful friends right here who are such a comfort. This is a great group of people. Well, you keep on hanging in there - I bet you're doing just fine, you're that kind of person.

Your friend, Karen

[Guest Gamer205]

Thanks KarenB,

I Honestly do try to do the best I can in terms of trying to be postive about things,but I have been haveing a rough time lately and have had a lot on my mind and not have had the best mind set in terms of trying to stay postive,

Thank you for your kind comments,I know I'll be fine its just hard sometimes for me,The one thing I don't try to do is Lie to people so I don't want to come across as being a strong person right now or haveing the best postive attuide when I'm not at the moment,

I really appreate the people here.

[Guest Gamer205]

Its like this morning,You know when I said a while back that I was truely going to try to move on and stay postive,When I said that I had absolutely the best of intentions but haveing a dream of someone and being there with them in that dream if only for a moment just brings back a lot of grief and depression,I mean its nice to have that person if only for a moment but then you know,you wake up and know that it was a dream I mean its better then nothing,but sometimes the dream seems real for that brief period,

I try very hard some times to move on but it seems no matter how hard I try the grief eventualy over takes me and I give into the loss and the feelings that I start to feel and I just I guess hit rock bottom again,

Like I said I don't like to lie so I tell how I feel but I appreate your kind words and I have been strong in the past,I'm just not doing well right now,

Today didn't really help matters with me.

But anyway KarenB thanks for your replys and makeing me feel so welcome here just like everyone else has since I've been here.

[karenb]

You know, Robert, after having read the posts on this site, you know these ups and downs are very normal. You can feel "good" one day and "not so good" the next. Grief is a very strange thing. I've been around this planet for 68 years and I don't know anything that even comes near grief for a lost one, and there are many types of grief. You know that feeling of loss when a loved one dies is such a tremendously difficult thing to go through. Please don't feel you have to be strong, especially for other people. You just do your best and that's all you need to do. Just keep your mind and heart open what God is doing for you, and you know He is. I walked around this world for a portion of my life not knowing he was always with me - I didn't recognize it. Now I know the many lessons I've been taught with much more to go. Hang in there, Robert.

Your friend, Karen

[Guest Gamer205]

Thanks KarenB for your reply and your kind comments,

I'm just going threw things right now,but like you said its normal and everyone has these up and down feelings,

[Stallyn]

Robert, many times I awaken myself reacting to what occurs within the dreams, though theres no recollection of anything, the end result is disturbing

[SusanK]

I have had about six dreams of my husband since his death five months ago. I remember each one vividly. Some dreams woke me. All were good dreams and I felt better after. Maybe the psyche just will not let him go.

s.

[KathyG]

I've never had a bad dream about my husband since he died. I wake up the next morning feeling great, but sometimes the realization that he is still gone sends me crashing down.

I've learned that if I think of these dreams as visits from him, they're mroe comforting than disturbing.

[WendyJ]

Does anyone else feel like they get by for a couple days and then all of a sudden it almost feels like back to the beginning again it hits them like a brick wall that their spouse is gone? You sit there dumbfounded that they are not coming back and it is like you feel that shock all over again?

Love,

Wendy

[karenb]

Hi Wendy,

I haven't posted too much here lately, but I wanted to respond to your last post just to say I'm sorry these things are happening for you. My Jack will have been gone three years the end of July and lately I haven't had any meltdowns or tears, just that feeling of a loving smile for all that we had. I pray for his wonderful soul every day and that he's doing what he needs to wherever he is. I will always love him. I'm very busy with my exercise classes, volunteer work at the local food bank, my church ladies group, my home business, gardening when the weather permits and trying to go on with this life of mine - so far so good.

I certainly don't miss all those horrible and sad feelings so much of the time, and I'm very grateful for where I am now. But, who knows what might happen next? It's just that point in time that I knew I really needed to go on. It's nothing I've done, but just time passing. I know you'll get there, too. You've had other things going on that are hard to deal with, so it's no wonder you feel as you do.

You just keep hanging in there, my friend, and you'll be fine down the road. Take care.

Your friend, Karen

[Stallyn]

I recall the dreams are always about the end of Myrna's life, the last few days, maybe once I had a good dream, its been some time now.

having the same problem, getting depressed and physically ill for a day or two for no probable cause, how far can one crash? I think I gone to the lowest its ever been, it outweighs the little joy that does come along.

Karen is that the hope we have to look to, getting above it, guess another 2 years, but gosh hope sooner!

[WendyJ]

Thank you so much Karen, you always know what to say to give me such encouragement I know time will help but I just need to keep being reminded of that, thanks again !

Love,

Wendy