DebFromLodi Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 Will it ever get better? Easier? Why can't I dream about her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlg Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 With my dad I did find that it go easier as time went by, but it took quite a long time (I don't exactly remember how long), but it did get better. I still have bad days but now I feel guilty because since my husband died dad has taken a back burner. I thought his death was the most horrible thing in the world until Tom died and that was a bazzillion times worse and I can't imagine what it is like for people who have lost children.Not to minimize your loss, only you will be able to decide when you reach the "peaceful" point because you are the only one who had the type of relationship that the two of you had.Good luck in your search for peace and keep posting.Mary Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 1, 2008 Report Share Posted September 1, 2008 Deb, you asked if you'll ever dream about your mother, which reminds me of this post: I pray at night to dream about [my mother] and I don’t Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoodlb Posted September 2, 2008 Report Share Posted September 2, 2008 Hi Deb, It has been a long time since I visited this site....I wanted to say that my mother's 5 year anniversary of her death was on Aug 23. I was sad to realize that it was 5 years ago, but then I realized that the grief is not so poingnant; it still however does stab at times. I am going through some severe medical issues now and I wish she was here to be with me. Losing one's mother (or any loved one) is always tough! As far as it getting easier or better, for me, it is somewhat less painful, but I would not ever say better; easier? Hm....maybe somewhat. The feelings are not so fresh at this point, but I can remember exactly what I was doing the day I was told that she was gone. Sometimes it feels like it was still yesterday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyG Posted September 2, 2008 Report Share Posted September 2, 2008 Deb, I think it will get easier in time. But I've read or heard from many sources that the period from six to nine months after a death is one of the hardest to get through because that's when you really begin to feel the magnitude of the loss's impact on you and your life. I'm at nine months and you're at seven - so I guess if we can get through these weeks, the road will become a little less rocky afterwards. Still, we have to expect that we'll encounter more setbacks in the future too.It's frustrating when you want to dream about someone who's gone and the dreams don't materialize. You can't force these dreams to come, but they do seem to happen more often at times when you're in need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill B Posted September 4, 2008 Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 Will it ever get better? Easier? Why can't I dream about her?I can't say if I know it will be easier...but my Mom died in May, and it MUST get easier.It must. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieO Posted September 4, 2008 Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 I don't know if "easier" is the word I would use to describe what happens as time goes by. I feel like I have just had to learn how to live without my mom and dad. My new "normal". I do remember the time around 7-9 months was unbearable, its not like that anymore. I do find joy in my life, I have happy memories of my parents that make me smile. But there are still the moments where I am blind-sided by sadness and it still brings me to my knees. My mom died Dec.06 and my dad died Oct 07. I wish I had more encouraging words to say. I will say, as time went on, I did start to have dreams about my parents, I can't put into words how much those dreams mean to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lopeje Posted September 4, 2008 Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 I hope it gets easier, tomorrow is 4 months since my Mom died. Last night I was laying on the floor holding her cat and started to remember what she looked like that last day, it made me cry.Do you think animals know? I do not know I do talk to her cat often as I really do not have anyone else. Is that crazy? I have to have the cat fixed as I do not want any babies, so off to the vet we went. I think I have spent more on this animal than any others... testing this and that, while waiting for the results of the feline lukemia I just sat there praying please god dont take her too. Thank God everything came back good, this cat is the last rememberance I have I do not even let her outside unless I am there.Anyways I pray it gets better and easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebFromLodi Posted September 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2008 I have one of my mom's cats. She is a sweetie. I always hope that my mom's spirit went inside the cat so that we can be close to each other. I know that sounds strange, but isn't it possible? Her spirit would always be with me that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeann Posted September 7, 2008 Report Share Posted September 7, 2008 Deb.. I believe your Mom's spirit IS with you... inside you. Love never dies.((((((Hugs)))))leeann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebFromLodi Posted September 7, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2008 Thank you leeann . I love this site, everyone helps me through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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