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Dear friends I want to say how sorry I am to welcome new people to this site.I know the hurt.For me it has been 28 moths monday and it never stops hurting.I have started going to the seminars <death and lonliness>it was not what Iexpected to be .It is mostly about the existencial fear and lonly feeling when someone is terminal ill and knows he is going to die.I need to heal and need to be with life maybe this is my step forward.going back again to step one does not help.Nightmares started again and fear Im not going to survive and find some kind of happines is in my mind again.Im not going to go on with the seminars.I miss you all my far away friends.TENY

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Teny - - I am so sorry that you are hurting again. My husband of 28 years died on January 6 this year. His extended family lives in Greece and we were planning to go there this summer. This forum has helped me the most and hopefully it will help you too. Take care and take heart.

Kathy

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Teny, I am so sorry that these seminars are such a disappointment to you. I had hoped that by getting out and being with other people facing similar challenges that you would find someone there to help you along. I am glad that you did get out, now you just need to find something that will grab your interest. At this time, I think we need a new focus, something we want to do or people we want to be with. We have spent a lot of time dealing with our own losses, our own situation. By looking outside of ourselves, I hope we can begin to move back out into the world. Be good to yourself. (((Hugs))) and Prayers!

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Oh Teny this is too bad.

I was hoping it would be more for people who have experienced loss already. No way to tell though until you tried it.

And I think you get an "A" for trying it!

But if it is making you feel worse... yes... I do not blame you for not wanting to go back.

Something else may come along that you might be interested in.

Go gently with you.

(((Hugs)))

leeann

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Teny

I am sorry the seminars are not what you were looking for. If I remember correctly you have mentioned there isn't a grief support system where you live...I know this might be a crazy thought, but what if you started a group? Could you connect with a hospital or a church and get some help organizing something? Not that you would have to lead any therapy or discussion, but just a place and time that people who have lost loved ones, could get together. Marty might have some suggestions. Just an idea.

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Connecting with a church, hospital or other community organization to share your interest in starting (or helping to start) a grief support group is a wonderful idea, Annie. After all, that's how most support groups get started!

If that idea appeals to you at all, Teny, you might begin by doing some reading on the subject. This article offers some useful information: Support Group Start-Up Tips

There are also some wonderful books about how to facilitate grief support groups; here are some that I especially like:

The Understanding Your Grief Support Group Guide: Starting and Leading a Bereavement Support Group (Understanding Your Grief series) by Alan D. Wolfelt

The Support Group Manual: A Session-By-Session Guide by Harriet Sarnoff Schiff

Death and Grief: Healing Through Group Support by Harold Ivan Smith

Six Simple Weeks: A Caring Manual for Support Group Leaders, by Eloise Cole and Joy Johnson

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Teny,

I'm sorry it didn't turn out to be what we'd all hoped for, but you tried it, it doesn't mean you need to continue with it. If there are no support groups in your area, maybe you could start one, just an informal getting together with others who have lost their loved one, to talk about them and share what you're going through. I wanted to get one going in Oakridge, have a notebook and studied materials, but people weren't interested, maybe they're too private, but it might be different in your area. You don't have to be an expert, just have a lot of understanding and be a moderator, that is, maybe have a topic of discussion and keep it flowing in that vein, but also give people a reasonable time to share. It could be healing to have others to relate to and also be doing something constructive.

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Hi Teny,

I think starting a grief support group is an excellent idea. You would be in personal contact with others that are working through their own grief and have a regularly scheduled activity that you needed to attend. Not just for your own grief, but for the other people in the group as well. Just like we do here. We have been dealing with our loss for two years now and have experienced or read about most of the things people go through at this time. Your priest would be a good person to talk to as a first step. By conducting the final services he also knows what the family goes through at that time and in the months afterwards. He also may be able to provide a comfortable space to meet in the church and help get things started. Or he may even be willing to lead the group to get it going! It sounds like a wonderful thing to do. Keep us up to date, Teny!

Love, (((Hugs))) and Prayers

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