Grief Over Grief

[teny]

Hellow my friends .I thought I had no more tears and in the first 2 weeks I could not cry for my mother I was crying for Yianyall over and then the baby came and Iv spend some time with my sons family.Today Im IM back to work at my studio in the first floor my mother lived so we were together almost every day.I cant stom thinking that if my life was a book the first pages wouldbe of a happy love story a house with the keys on the door the center of the family .I had a routine of happy every day life and never in my thoughts was what Im living now .The house is gone ,in its place a big appartment building that has nothin g of my past .My love is gone my mother is gone and I fear what is left of my future .What are the rest of the pages of the book? will Ibe able to be here healthy to see my new grand daughter grow?Im in such pain and fear of my own death that sleepless nights are back together with the familiar feeling of grief.I need your support.Your far away friend TENY

[fred]

Dearest (((Teny))), You know our thoughts and prayers are with you always. While it is difficult for me to imagine all of the changes you and so many others here have had to endure in your life recently, I do know how the little setbacks in my own life can throw me back into the depths of my early grief. And yet, you have managed to keep going through all that has been set before you. You are much stronger than you realize, you will get through this also. Try not to spend time with thoughts of your own death. Yes, someday we will all have to face it, but we can push it further away by not dwelling on it. We should live every day in such a way that we won´t have any regrets, and try to focus on the good in life. Not only do you have grandchildren, but a brand new granddaughter. Spend as much time as you can with them, it will be great for all of you. I hope you have a good and restful day. Love, Fred

[WendyJ]

Teny I am so sorry for all you have been going through, you know I have had one hell of a ride too the last couple years but I have to tell you things do get better, I promise you that. Just take a deep breath and take each day at a time, you are one of the strongest women I know you can do this Teny and just think of your Mom and Yianny looking down on you and being so proud of you and those beautiful grandchildren who need their grandmother. You will get through this, look how far you have come already !

Love Always,

Wendy

[leeann]

Teny ((((Hugs)))) for you.

I think it would be kind of natural for you to be pondering your own mortality right now. I am guessing.. but I imagine I would feel a bit adrift myself if I had lost my husband and my parent.

We have very strong attachments and love bonds with our parents and our spouses. And I think when they pass... it sets up to feel like we are walking on totally new ground we've never seen before. I know I felt lost too and I just lost my parents!

The book of your life isn't finished yet Teny. For some reason... you are here with your children and grandchildren. You must still have things to do here.

But I'm thinking about your Mom..... do you think she felt as you do now? What will my Chapters be like? I'm sure she wondered too.

So I think what you are feeling is a natural thing.

Think about how you added to her book. I'm sure you did. You were important to her and she to you. You were in her pages....

And now your children and grandchildren are in your book. They are sprinkled about on your pages.

But for me the Book of our lives is just that. It is different than a novel.....

The ending isn't as important...

The story itself.. not how it ends.... is what is important.

So fill up your pages with abandon Teny!

All of our books are intertwined.... your plot spills into your loved one's, your children's and also your grandchildren's as well as theirs spill into yours.

And that's what makes these books so hard to put down...

It's the "story" of our lives.... not our deaths.

(((((Hugs)))))

leeann

[kayc]

Teny,

I'm glad you have a grandchild to enjoy. A new death often triggers memories of the other one, so it's not uncommon to be hit all over again. Like Fred said, please try not to think about your own death, just take joy in what you have today with your children and grandchild. And Teny, Happy Mother's Day!

Love,

Kay

[mrspapajohn]

Teny - - I don't think that I can say it better than Leeann, but I am so sorry for what you are going through. I think of you often and try to picture you in that beautiful country where my husband's family originated.

Leeann - - What you wrote is beautiful and inspiring. Thank you.

Kathy

[mlg]

Teny

I hate all that you have had to go through in the last several years, but am happy that you have a new grandchild to enjoy. Sometimes I think you are too worried about the far future. Just take it one hour or even less at a time and make it through that. I still cannot think in terms of the distant future. I do good to make it through some days. What Leeann wrote was true. I'm sure you added to your mother's book of life. Now it is the rest of your family's turn to help you write yours. Don't deny them this by worrying about your demise. There is nothing you can do to change or stop it so enjoy each second for what it is.

You bring so much joy to people with your pottery and art work. Just think how many homes you have brought joy to in one form or another.

((((((hugs))))))))

[Boo Mayhew]

Teny, I send you strength across the Mediterranean Sea from the UK.

Leeann - I loved what you wrote ... it really touched me.