Have To Say Good Bye

[laurieb]

Tuesday was 4 months without Scott, Today I found out that I have to put my puppy (14 years old) down on Monday and tomorrow is my birthday.. Life sucks today.. I am trying so hard not to feel sorry for myself..but it is hard. There are so many people here that have it so much more difficult than I but I am just lonely and I can't believe that the only unconditional love that I have in my life is from my dog and I have to say good bye to her too now.. how cruel is this! My friend said it is that scott wants angel up in heaven with him... Last year for my birthday we went to dinner as a family at the ocean front and then walked along the beach and took great pictures with our boys and this year is just so painful.. I just don't want tomorrow to come, I don't want monday to come and I don't want to have to go to the vet by myself and God I'm so mad I'm alone...

laurie

[LarrysGirl]

Laurie, you've got alot to go thru right now, it is very hard. I know that is very difficult to think of losing your sweet dog. I'm sure it feels like too many losses to deal with. I have two dogs and my heart would break also. Is there anyone that could go with you Monday for support?? I'll say Happy Birthday tonite and will be thinking of you tomorrow on your birthday and remember Scott is with you always, Deborah

[mlg]

oh Laurie, can I identify with you. Tom died 3weeks before our 37th anniversary and a month before my 60th b'day. The day after we buried him I thought Iwas going to have to put my 16 y/o old dog down because suddenly she couldn't walk, but she made it almost another year and a half and died a month ago. When she died it brought back so many memories of the night Tom died. It was my last living thing and the loneliness was terrible. If you'll go to the thread, finally some joy you'll see what God and Tom sent me last Fri ( a month after my Holly died).

Happy B'day to you tomorrow and just enjoy you final time with you dog.

Monday there will be many cyber hugs, helping hold you as you go through this. I know we wish we could be there with you, but I agree with Deborah, is there anyone who can go with you?

[kath]

Laurie,

I can relate, also. It was a month after Bob died we had to put Zeus down and it was very hard to go through. You do feel like you are losing your spouse all over again, maybe in part because having that dog was a part of life with your spouse. The only thing that helped, and it wasn't instantly, was imagining their reunion. I took small comfort in knowing Bob had his buddy back with him. I'll be thinking of you.

Kath

[kayc]

Oh Laurie, I'm so sorry, I can identify with everything you wrote. When George died, our cat left two months later, and it hurt so much to lose him too. Then came my first birthday without George and no one even called and said happy birthday...he always made such big deals about stuff like that and it just seemed such a stark contrast...I cried myself to sleep that night. Then I got another cat, and I was so close to him, and then a cougar got him. Then my other cat died of cancer. Then my dog had to be put to sleep. Each loss seems to bring us back to our original one. I know it's lonely, it is hard to bear sometimes. I hope so much that you can have someone go with you Monday. And tomorrow, I hope you do extra kind things for yourself all day...from Scott...buy yourself a special cup of coffee or a dessert you'd love...spend time with a friend, go to lunch with someone. Make your birthday special and know that is how he would want it. Happy Birthday Laurie from us here, and I'll be especially praying for you on Monday.

Love,

Kay

[Boo Mayhew]

Laurie

I am so sorry. To have your monthly anniversary, your birthday and most of all having to say goodbye to your beloved dog all is too much cruelty at once.

I am thinking of you, please keep talking to us ... I have pasted below a "story" which you may be able to identify with right now because there aren't really any words that I can find to say, except that we are all here for you.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, and then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use heaven's name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

[laurieb]

its 10:51 pm and I made it through..I actually had a wonderful day with my boys.. we started with them taking me out for lunch and we have spent the entire day together... they gave me the most touching gifts that were simple and so very sentimental... just what us mom's like. I was praying this morning and realized while the outside world might sympathize with my plight, we each only have the day we are in and I want to make a conscious decision to have the best that I could. I still cried, still missed my husband and having him get me a cup of coffee this morning with a gentle kiss and happy birthday wish but each day is a new day and I am determined to try to make it the best that I can. I received flowers delivered, texts, calls, gifts on my doorstep, and two of the best boys in the world and ...for today I am at peace. and I thank you all for your support. We are all still on this rollercoster called life but I am starting to see some brief periods of "light"..and, above all Scott would want me to ahve a good day..and I'm sure he played a large part in this.

[Boo Mayhew]

Laurie, your boys sound wonderful, and they are testament to yourself and your beloved husband.