Funeral Arrangements

[Maryo]

I am trying to get up enough nerve to make my funeral arrangements.It was so painful for me when my husband died that I am hoping if I do this in advance it will make it easier for my daughter when my time comes.God willing I will have many more years. It will be at the same location where my husband's service was.Once I get there it will bring back all the painful memories but I feel it is something that should be done.

Thanks for listening to me.

Mary Lou

[kath]

Mary Lou,

I felt the same urgency to do this, too, although I have managed to put it off so far. Good luck and God bless you.

Kath

[mlg]

I too felt like I should do this but my sister in law who works with the funeral industry says that here anyway they really don't reccommend prepaying. I had a friend who did in Oct and died in Apr and it still cost $5000 more. I thought the whole idea was to keep the cost down and pick out what you want. She said it is better to write your wishes down and be open with your family about what you want.

Hope this helps.

[Korina]

My big concern is putting together a will and getting some life insurance outside what I have from work. It always seemed to be such a morbid prospect before, but with Scott's death, I no longer fear facing such things, as I have lost a lot of my fear of death.

Korina

[Boo Mayhew]

Similar to Korina, I have no fear of death whatsoever now ... and I think it's great to cushion your loved ones from more pain than necessary ... but a word of caution - please don't go back to the same place where you held the funeral in the early days. (I went back to the ward in the hospital where Cliff died soon afterwards because a friend was taken there ... and I started shaking so badly that a nurse came to check on me). I was a mess for a couple of days at least afterwards.

Perhaps start to work on what you want - your will, the service, all the details and then find out if they can visit you at home, or if you can liaise by email initially?

I just wanted to warn you ... only you know what you are ready for, so it's just a thought, before you drive over there.

[PaulaB.]

Tom wanted to be cremated. Through Hospice of the Valley Tom was able to find out about the Biological Resource Center here in the valley of Phoenix, AZ. Tom was a very giving person and he was so worried that he wouldn't be able to donate his body to science because of his cancer. Through this center his tissues will be used for cancer research. Even in his death, Tom is still helping someone here. He told me "Even if I can help just one person, it's worth it". God bless him for being so selfless. Paula

[Maryo]

Thank you for the great advise everyone. You gave me alot to think about.I think I will try a phone call first,

might save me a trip and many sad memories.

Paula, What your husband did was something very special.

Take care.

Mary Lou

[kayc]

To take care of your own funeral arrangements ahead of time is a huge gift to those left behind later on. What a thoughtful thing to do!

[marsha]

Mary Lou - after my father died, my mom decided to not only prepay her funeral, but she also had a list of people to call after she was gone. A very organized woman, my mom! Good thing I've inherited some of those traits! There's nothing wrong with thinking what you're thinking - I have friends who don't even have a will, and they're in their 50's/60's. Putting one's head in the sand isn't going to make the inevitable go away. Hugs, Marsha

[steely]

Sadly with the recent death of my husband, all of my family updated their wills and made arrangements. It was a hard lesson to learn. My husband was an organ donor and would have had to die, not just be brain dead for them to harvest his organs. I chose to donate his body to science so he too, could help other people. He was so giving in life and again, in death. I know I made the right decision. When I pass I will be donated to the same facility. It feels right to me.