First Time Trying This

[RJ's girl]

I lost my wonderful husband on April 20, 2008. I feel like it was yesterday. I've never done this but just feel the need to talk to others. We were married 33 years, just out of high school. He was my very best friend. I keep waiting for him to walk in the door. I thought it would be easier by now. I miss the little things so much. Just talking things through with him. How do you go through the most traumatic thing in life without your best friend, the love of your life to talk to about it. Cyndey

[mlg]

You just breathe and take it a minute, an hour, a day, a week , whatever you can handle at this time. Don't ever be "afraid" of breaking down because you can't keep it bottled up inside of you or you will explode. I think many of us sadly have found that most of the grieving has to done alone because no one knows how to "handle" it unless they've actually gone through it. There is nothing to petty to ask on here so keep coming back and hopefully someone will be able to put their arms around you for the moment.

[Korina]

RJ:

I am glad you are taking the opportunity to post here - it has helped me immeasurably since my husband died last June. We were together for 20 years, married almost 10, and had just had our first child.

For me, surviving is one day at a time. And aiming towards doing something positive with my life that will make him proud, as I believe he is always with myself and our daughter. Some days (today, for instance), my heart just feels such pain and sadness. He is not with me (in flesh and blood) to see all the wonderful things in our daughter. And I told my mom, just a few weeks back, that it is our conversations I miss. I will always miss them.

Just one day at a time...

Hugs,

Korina

[Dale&Sue]

Hi RJ's Girl: First, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved. I'm pretty new to this myself, so I won't give "advice" or anything like that, but I will say this: I'm glad you've joined this group. I really have only one friend who is able and willing to go the distance with me as I grieve. He's been wonderful and has cried and laughed and hugged me and assured me. Although others have been somewhat helpful, they obviously just do not understand the depth of our pain and despair. So, in coming here, we can get support and give support. We may be miles apart and have different stories and lives, but we all know the pain of losing our beloved. My heart is with you. You take care. Susan

[Susie Q]

Hello RJ

I also miss the caring and sharing. the laughs and the conversation on any and every topic imagineable that we had for 40 years, 32 married. It's been the longest, saddest and hardest 6 months of my life. Today I am just aching to see him.

I find it all so unbearable, but then I realise I have been able to bear the last 6 months, so maybe there is some hope. I just try to get through every day the best i can in the way I know he would want me to. I draw strength from him still but still can't believe he's gone. Come back here often - it helps....Susie Q

[jrm]

Hello to all, Our stories are so similar. It truly is one day at a time. 7 months yesterday. 40 years married. My best friend. So lost without him. Tears just flow. Grief overload. It does make a difference that we can share on this site for truly though we have support of family and friends, no one knows it like we do.

[kath]

Dear Cyndey,

"How do you go through the most traumatic thing in life without your best friend, the love of your life to talk to about it. "

With a lot of tissues, shoulders and perseverance. It is the lonliness that is the worst right now. Surround yourself with caring people. They may not know what to say. That's okay. It is just being there that will lend you strength.

Kath

[Billhare]

I recently lost my wife of 33 years. We were deeply in love after 33 years and I am overwhelmed with grief. I am having great difficultly functioning. There is no way to ever prepare for this this type of loss. Everybody tells me to take it one day at a time, but each day seems to get worse.

[Susie Q]

Dear Billhare

I am so sorry that you have lost the love of your life. This little community has shared an experience just like yours - so we know.. I have spent the last 6 months without the person who made my life worthwhile and I am only now just starting to feel some relief from the overwhelming grief and pain. It's still horrendous but I am starting to understand what people have been telling me - that I will feel better able to cope with time.

Keep telling us about how you feel and keep reading. This site has helped me greatly. My thought are with you...Susie Q

[Dale&Sue]

Dear Billhare: My thoughts and my heart stands with you in your grief. The people here, including myself, know what you're going through. I know what you mean that you were still deeply in love after 33 years. I was thinking about that the other day. My partner, Dale, and I were still very much "in love" after 20 years. And I do know what you mean when you say it actually seems to get worse. It's rather like facing eternal emptiness; at least that is how I describe it.

I cannot make you feel better, although I wish I could. What I can do is bear witness to your pain. Across many miles, I think of you and I cry for you. If that can help ease the burden of your pain one iota, then that is a good thing. Keep posting. Susan.

[Babs11]

Hi, RJ

I too feel like it was Yesterday..and I look at the Calendar and it tells me something completely different..

Losing Your Best Friend and Partner is so Hard..We also met at a Young Age..Had our one and only child at 24yrs..

I go three or four steps forward then at least five back..So now I have to "Gain Ground Again". I can't imagine in August it will be one Year..when you Mark time I thought it was suppose to be a Milestone..Maybe someday it will again...

I am sorry for your pain and although you can't be with "The One You Desire the Most" You will find Here People who

do understand the Most..

I wish you; Love and Peace, Babs.

[Sharon3]

I just finished sending in my husband's memorium to acknowledge his one year passing coming up on February 24th........he too was the love of my life, having met when I was 16we too had one child, and he now is married and has one child and we all miss him so much. We do all stand together in our grief, which is what we need because it is a place where every heart understands.

[Lucia Abeytia]

Hello Everyone, How I know how you guys feel I lost my love of my life almost a year ago Feb 18, and with Valentines coming and the annivarsary I am missing him more 33yrs married and 40 yrs together!!!! What I miss most too is just talking to him he was cremated and I get his ashes sometimes when things get rough and I just talk to him and that makes me feel better....I'm glad we have this site because I know we all have our families but sometimes they just don't understand everyone here has lost there best friend there soul mate and you all understand!!!!I have learned that it does get a little easier but I will always feel a hole in my heart because I lost a piece of it on Feb 18,2009!!!