Is It Normal

[justme2905]

Is it normal to keep loved ones numbers saved when they have passed away? I have my fathers cell number and the number to the hospital room that he was in before he passed in my cell phone and I can not bring myself to deleting them. In the back of my mind I say that one day he will call even though I know he want. Am I crazy are what?

[MartyT]

Dear One, you're not alone in asking this question. See this thread: Can't Break Denial

[Ron B.]

My father passed away 8 years ago. I had his number written in a little notebook, normally a kind of throwaway thing when all the pages are used. Now I've got 1 page left in the notebook with my father's phone number. I have not been able to throw it away; feels like a piece of my Dad. And I'm ok with that; it's nothing that causes me concern. I think you and I are normal. Or else we are all crazy, and that's ok too, so long as we are crazy together.

Ron B.

[DoingMyBest]

I went through my logs desperately hoping I could recover a voicemail from my mom (no luck). Since I can't hear her voice, for now it makes me feel better to see her number on my favorites list. Can't call, I guess, but it makes me think... yeah, she's a favorite. Wish I could talk to her, but remembering her will have to do.

[justme2905]

My father passed away 8 years ago. I had his number written in a little notebook, normally a kind of throwaway thing when all the pages are used. Now I've got 1 page left in the notebook with my father's phone number. I have not been able to throw it away; feels like a piece of my Dad. And I'm ok with that; it's nothing that causes me concern. I think you and I are normal. Or else we are all crazy, and that's ok too, so long as we are crazy together.

Ron B.

Ron

Thanks for taking the time to answer my question. I was scred to join this site because I thought it would make me feel worse but thanks to people like you. This site is helping me cope with the pain. I am glad that I joined this site. I hope that in time I will be able to say something that will help others like you and others are helping me.

[mlg]

Just me

And when you say that first thing and know it has helped someone you will be surprised how much it helps you also.

That being said, there will also be times that the site does make you feel bad. Each new person who joins takes the "chance" of being hurt because it brings back memories, but that's not all bad. It lets us recognize our own feelings are still there. You may find you even need a break from time to time, but all in all I think you'll find it helps.

[Korina]

When Scott first died, I called his number a few times, hoping that maybe he would answer from afar. Maybe it sounds silly, but I don't care. And it is 8 months and I still have his number in my cell. I, too, desparately checked my voice mails for one leftover from Scott, but to no avail. I guess we just want to keep a piece of them from when things were normal.

Hang in there,

Korina

[justme2905]

Just me

And when you say that first thing and know it has helped someone you will be surprised how much it helps you also.

That being said, there will also be times that the site does make you feel bad. Each new person who joins takes the "chance" of being hurt because it brings back memories, but that's not all bad. It lets us recognize our own feelings are still there. You may find you even need a break from time to time, but all in all I think you'll find it helps.

Thanks

My mother is the only person I have to talk to and right now I dont want to poor my feelings on her because, I know she is going through her on problems. Before I found this site I was holding everything in. I never thought that people would really respond to my post. Just being able to write my thoughts was helping me. The memories that have came back to me on this site have been good ones. My father passing was not good but, knowing where he is now is good and i find joy in that.

[Ron B.]

justme2905,

I think this community is exceptional. I've posted on many forums and chat sites, but never have I been able to voice any depth of feeling, except here. No trolls, no blinking ads, no smack talking. Just solid people speaking honestly. Sometimes I think nobody could possibly understand what I think or feel. Then I get a reply post from someone, who gets it in spades. It's remarkable. Who'd have thought serious grief could be handled on the net? Well, perhaps Marty, our moderator. Like you, I am very glad to be here.

Ron B.

[MartyT]

I'm glad you're here, too, Ron

[Chai]

JustMe,

You are not alone. I, too, have my father's cell phone number in my phone still, and although it still sortof causes me pain to see it even ever 15 months...I can't bear to delete it. That number is a piece of memory, a piece of my dad, and even though it just an amalgamation of numbers now and not his voice on the other side of the phone, it is still him, and all the phone calls we had, in my mind.

It ISN'T just a phone number, to us, and that's why we keep it. Therefore we aren't crazy. To others we may seem so, but they don't have that same thinking about that amalgamation of numbers that we do.

I also have his voicemail answering machine message saved on a recording device, and I don't think I'm ever going to delete that! I've even not been using the recording device to record college class lectures, because I'm afraid I might accidentally delete the recording of my dad's voice.

I am sorry for the loss of your father. We are all here for you. Keep that phone number in, if it helps, or even if it doesn't.

take care,

Chai

[Sherri Boo]

Is it normal to keep loved ones numbers saved when they have passed away? I have my fathers cell number and the number to the hospital room that he was in before he passed in my cell phone and I can not bring myself to deleting them. In the back of my mind I say that one day he will call even though I know he want. Am I crazy are what?

I still have my sister's number. I figure I will know when to delete it.

[loulou]

I want to share this.My father died 2 months ago,and since we were constantly chatting on the phone,and my dad never failed to leave a message on my voice mail[something I used to make fun of him about]I had 3 messages from the day he unexpectedly died.I would listen to them everyday and cry and cry.I called the cell phone company and was assured that as long as I kept saving them they would stay for as long as I had my phone.Feb.3rd,I woke up,dialed my voice mail and the messages were GONE.The girl I talked to didnt know what she was talking about.The messages always delete after 30 days,Thats what the phone company told me.I called them flipping out.If I could have kept them forever I would have.My brother got a new phone and wanted to put 'pops'# in it,but felt silly.I told him to keep dads # in there.It keeps him close.Like he is still there,not gone,wich is so hard to except.

[annette85035]

I too have not wanted to change anything that involves my mother-I put her room back as she always had it. There is even an open bottle of tea in the fridge that she was drinking.