Seasonal Stress?

[LindaG]

Hi Everyone-

I'm feeling alot of anxiety over the warming temperatures and the arrival of Spring. Maybe because I can not hybernate as much as I have this winter and may be forced to be more visible?

I'm just wondering if anyone else is feeling anxious and uneasy. Spring has never made me sad before. Being a lifelong New Englander it meant the heave-ho to the snow shovel and the expectation of Summer. I guess this is normal. Every time of year will bring a new sense of loss and the flood of memories from the past years? It's been bothering me all week. Just curious. It's kind of a new funk that just seems strange.

Sending some peace.

-Linda G

[Mrs. B]

Hi Linda, I have seasonal stress big time. When the winter snow comes and when spring comes. Reason is my spouse did snow removal and spring renovations on the yards so as soon as i see the nice weather i get sad. I know this is when he was at his best. Its just been a year that he has gone. I try to focus on happy things. Like visiting my kids and grandson and waiting on the arrival any time now of my new grandson. It takes my mind of it for a little while anyway. I think I will always have this sadness. I try to do yard work when it is time knowing it wouldnt be the way he did it but i hope he would be proud of the way that im trying. Take care. Mrs.B

[LindaG]

Maybe that is it. Knowing Joe would be raking and getting ready to fish for the season. It is just strange how a warmer day has brought me to my knees. I never thought in a million years that I'd be in this place at this time. I guess none of us here did.

- Linda G

[Dale&Sue]

Hi LindaG: I think I understand what you mean and what you may be experiencing. My partner died in October 09. The pain has been very intense, but as spring has made itself felt here on the prairies in Canada, my sense of loss has grown more intense and there's anxiety along with that. I was thinking the other day "I've gone a whole season...all winter...without my love" and it really is hitting home. We both loved spring so much; and it sounds like you and your Joe did as well. Maybe spring is particularly poignant because of the association of new life and renewal; and yet we feel losses and endings. It's sad.

Given other comments here, and my own experience, I think we can probably expect to feel intense emotions around those changes in season. I'm not sure why I feel the anxiety along with the sadness, but I've read that anxiety is not unusual when dealing with the loss of a loved one. I truly just try and take it one day at a time and when I start to panic from the anxiety, I tell myself I'll get through it. I hope that you find some peace out there in New England. Take care; my thoughts are with you.

-Susan-

[Korina]

LindaG:

I think my feelings are much like Sue's - spring is associated with renewal, and for us, it is about loss and endings. It hit me particularly hard this afternoon; walking home from work, I encountered that beautiful, springtime, new growth aroma, along with an eagle soaring overhead on the thermals. Reduced me to tears, of course. That said, Scott always had a hard time with his allergies during spring - here's a sneeze for you, sweetie

[kayc]

How odd, I was just talking to a friend last night and this came up. I think the beautiful weather reminds us of times we WOULD be having with our spouse if they were here...and of course, they aren't, so it reminds us all the more of what we are missing. For myself, I would have had a trip to the coast last Saturday when the weather was gorgeous...if George were here. Or we would be planning a camping trip...if George were here. Instead it seems I stay home and do chores instead. He was my spontaneous fun-loving one...the one who could get me to lay aside the never-ending work, and go enjoy the beauty and smell the roses. My dearest friend...

[nats]

Yes, indeed seasonal emotion my Ruth loved this time of year

longer days, working in the yard, and fishing with me....today I planted

her favorite flower bed and cried almost the whole time, but I know she's

looking at it and loving it. I also cut the yard and was loooking for her to be

nearby but wasn't....I felt her presence and drive she had somehow in me today

because I would have normally not been able to get all those things done....

I am thankful I have all the happy memories from previous springs to reflect on and I'll

keep doing just as if she were here....just a little slower...

NATS

[kath]

Bob and I loved our long walks, especially in early spring and late fall. It has been one thing I have had to force myself to do without him. It is a sad, lonely reminder of the days when we used to be hand-in-hand, talking about everything under the sun. My solution has been to walk the dog a mile at 5 am. It works for me. It's still dark, so most of my focus is on sounds. Of course, I think of Bob, that's a given, but because it isn't an hour of the day we would have devoted to this routine, it doesn't suck. This morning I say stars and I wondered if he was peeking through one of those openings.

Grief forces us to change our focus. We still need to do the day to day things, we still need to take care of ourselves, the challenge is to find ways that we can manage. Tonight, my son started his Firearm Safety Class. It brought back so many memories of hunting with Bob, I couldn't help but think he is the one that should be here to teach Mike. Instead, I'm going to have to find a way to get back into it, teaching him all the things I learned from my dad and my hubby. I want him to know the stories. I want him to be safe. I want to cry.