kath Posted May 13, 2010 Report Share Posted May 13, 2010 I've taken to writing a letter or poem to Bob for each of his angelversaries. This year, the third, I couldn't quite wrap my thoughts around a poem. So, I'd like to write what I have learned as this year seems like he has been gone forever, yet it often feels like just yesterday… I've learned one heart is not enough to endure the pain of losing a spouse. God surely must have made a mistake in that He didn't give us two. I've learned that broken hearts heal, with deep scars, and that God helps in the healing by sending bandages aka friends. I've learned that we are not meant to be here alone, on this earth, solo and expect to do it all. It is okay and necessary to ask and accept help. I've learned it is often more comfortable to be able to give than receive, but it is the receiver that gets to experience the touch of an angel. I've learned that GPS can take away the fear and panic of driving in unfamiliar places. It also encourages laughter when the store you know is in MN only comes up on a map in Chicago. I've learned that children are wise and resilient and we can learn a lot from them as long as we don't take ourselves, or our problems too seriously. I've learned that taking a day at a time can be a monumental task and if needed, broken down into single seconds. I've learned tires need to be rotated every 2nd oil change. I've learned oil changes are a necessary evil. I've learned they have coupons for stuff like that. I've learned that pride in our children's accomplishments is bittersweet without your spouse to share it with. I've learned that those who want to help won't, unless given specific tasks. Those same people don't know what to say in your absence, but are willing to learn. I've learned that worrying about the future is nothing compared to mourning the past. I've learned that our story didn't die with you, it just needed time to be told…and re-told. I've learned that I will never make a pot of coffee that tastes as good as the ones you made each morning. I've learned that one never fully cries their eyes out. The supply is endless. I've learned that laughter and smiles and joy are possible and you are always in my heart. I've learned that the real important things in life are not bought, but shared, and arm in arm is best. I've learned if you work hard enough, sleep will come. I've learned to not burn the soup. I've learned that I really am strong and capable and isn't that what you told me all along? I've learned that no other eyes will find me as beautiful as I was in yours. I've learned that I hear your voice with every major decision or tough day and remarkably, it is just what I need to hear. I've learned to trust myself with your memory and seeing the big picture is much better than reliving your last few days. I've learned that nothing replaces the unspoken silence of being in the room with someone you love. I've learned that you were the original dog whisperer and that it is an injustice to our current canine to not have experienced your talent, but I am still learning. I've learned there are more important things than clean carpeting. I've learned that letting go does not mean giving up, but rather opens one's path to the next big adventure. I am learning to be free…of guilt, of anguish, of regret and of stuff. With all my love...Kath © 2010 by Kath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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