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In March of this year, I lost the love of my life. Now our relationship was strange as we were divorced and after many years of soul searching we were trying to make a go of our relationship again. However drugs took a toll on his body and he had a heart attack (he was getting sober). We have two children together who miss him and miss what could've been. After he passed we got alot of rude comments about being "blessed" because we no longer have to deal with the things he brought into our lives. I would gladly give all I have to hug him and for our children to spend an hour with him once more. I've had people act as though my pain is not real because we were not married...but my pain is real and I hurt so much. I don't sleep, I either don't eat enough or eat way to much. I don't want to do anything and I get angry very quickly. I cry each night as not to upset the kids, I need to be the strong one. My aches for what we had and what we could've had. I only get out of bed for the kids. (I was fired from my job a month after he passed....long story). I just have no want will or desire to do much. I never knew that this ain existed and I hate it.

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First, I would like to say how sorry I am for the loss to you and your children. I lost my wife, best friend, and soul mate six weeks ago. Second, don't discount your relationship by saying it was strange. Remember, everyone's normal is different and that doesn't make your pain any less. You don't have to explain your family situation to anyone. I too have had to put up with the rude/stupid comments. One that stands out came from a nephew who said, "I don't know how you put up with her, she was just so crazy." My response to him was, "I didn't put up with her, I LOVED her and maybe if you're lucky someday you'll be fortunate enough to experience what we had." If someone says or does something that ticks you off don't be afraid to tell them so. Continue to be strong for yourself and your children. I am finding this board to be a good outlet, so come back here, only those of us who are traveling down this road can even begin to understand your pain.

Best Reagards,


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People can be very cruel at times. Not always meaning too but are just stupid in what they say. I am so sorry for your and your children's loss. I know 3 years ago my son cleaned up from the drugs and alcohol,even cigarettes, and then took his own life. Lots of people figured seeing he had problems it was no big deal. Well it was a hugh deal to all our family including his 5 children. People have problems in this life. Praying you find the will eventually to do more with your children and enjoy life a little more. Easy to say, but I know I can't do it yet myself and my husband died in May. I can say it but can't do it myself..................One day at a time. One hour at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time is what I can manage. Know I seldom want to leave my house. Prefer to stay in here like a hermit... Hugs and good luck, Keep posting on this great site. Marion

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i am so sorry you & the kids are in such pain.

it will be 2 mos Saturday when my loving husband passed away.

i am so lost without him,nothing matters anymore.

each day is just one more day to get through.

people can be cruel with their remarks,i usually tell them until it happens to you

please don't try to advise me on how i should feel.

this is the most lonesome journey a person can travel.

please know you are not alone on this site,we all feel this

pain & sorrow daily.

wishing you a better day

Angel Hugs

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I am deeply sorry for your loss, and understand the terrible pain you are experiencing. I lost my partner, the light and love of my life, just two weeks ago, prior to which she had been in a coma for a fortnight. The shock and grief is unbearable, and the house is painfully quiet and empty. Coping day by day has not been an option, as my mood can change rapidly from hour to hour. I can only hope that your pain becomes bearable over time, although I am aware that time on its own is insufficient, and that conscious effort is required. I am enormously grateful that this forum exists, as whist others can sympathize, only a few unfortunate others can truly understand. My thoughts are with you.

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It's Just Me,

I am sorry you lost your former husband. People can say some really insensitive things, they mean well but sometimes that's of little consolation. Try to keep in mind that they haven't been there, I always reminded myself I was glad they hadn't.

At least he died trying to do the right thing and it ended on a positive note...my husband did too. He'd had a bout with drugs and the last three weeks of his life had come clean and was trying...and he had a heart attack. You are here with a lot of people who understand and care and have been through it. Try to remember that he lives on in your heart.



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  • 2 weeks later...

My husband was in alcohol addiction treatment, and then the hospital, when he died of an infection. Isn't it so ironic that just when things are looking up, they crash to the lowest of lows? What I would give to see his face again, to hear his laugh.

The pain is horrible, but it makes us stronger (at least I am trying to believe this :closedeyes: ). My daughter was the reason I got out of bed every morning, as well, and thankfully, a year later, while she is still my reason for living, I am finding smiles from friends, family and work, as well. But my heart will never be the same.

Take care,


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