Loss Of A Wonderful Man.

[Bugszy]

Hi there, folks. I just joined and thought I would introduce myself. My name is Kristia and I'm a 27-year-old widow. My husband Michael was killed on April 1, 2010, while out on a joyride on his motorcycle. He was 32 years old. Someone took a left hand turn in front of him and he died a hour later in the operation room. He had suffered too many internals injuries and didn't make it. I went down for a nap a married woman, woke up a widow. We have two beautiful children together - my daughter who recently turned 5 and our newborn son. Our son was 8 days old when my husband died, he's now 8 months. Needless to say, the past 8 months have been quite trying. I don't remember the first three months, at all. Things aren't getting easier as far as missing him but I am learning how to better cope. And figuring out how to do things without him, though I still hate it. Michael and I were married for 5 years, together for several and he was my partner, my teammate, my lover, and my best friend. We have a silly, fun, fantastic marriage. We constantly kept eachother laughing and I could not have asked for anything more. He was also an amazing father and did everything with our daughter and my stepson son. It breaks my heart that the baby won't ever get to experience all the awesomeness that was his Dad but I'm going to try my damndest to make sure he knows every little thing about his father and how much he loves him. Anywho, so that's us. I hope to get to know all of you and I'm sorry it's under these circumstances. This is unfair for all of us.

[Guest NancyL]

Hi Bugszy, I'm sorry too that we meet in this place, but we're all here to comfort when someone needs a little cheering up. You sound like you and Michael and family shared some wonderful memories packed in the short time you knew each other. How great that you got to share 5 years together. Don and I would have been married 41 years in December. Like your Michael, he too died suddenly. Sometimes I wonder if that was easier than knowing he was lingering. However, your attitude sounds upbeat and just what your children need right now. Welcome.

[Deb625]

Hi Kristia and welcome to the site we never wanted to join. I classify this site as the place where I know I'm not crazy, where I can see others have gone through the same things, felt the same emotions, cried the same tears. I lost my Michael 16 May 2010, he was 45, I am 43. We never had children. I'm the first of my peers to lose a spouse, so while friends and family are supportive, no one really knows the tragic loss and lonliness felt, except the "like" people here. Like you say, you go to sleep "a couple" and wake up "a widow". We're all learning together how to live this new life we didn't choose and working on piecing it all together and for the most part it is painful as the one person we leaned on and laughed with is no longer here and you're right it is bloody unfair. You have come through a lot with a newborn and two other children. I hope this site is of some help. Take care, Deb

[Perkins808]

Hi Kristia,

I want to start off by telling you that I am so sorry for your loss.

My husband died 4 months ago and I found this site a couple of weeks after.....the people here are wonderful and have been such a huge help to me and I hope they will be to you as well. 8 months into the grief journey yourself I am sure you will have much to offer us too.

Welcome.....but I wish life hadn't made you part of our "group".

Hugs,

Tammy

[Queeniemary]

Kristia, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband suddenly last January 13th of a massive coronary. He had not been sick, or had any warning. His name was Michael also. I am 65, we had been married for just a few months shy of 20 years when Michael died. None of us wanted to belong to this club, but I am very grateful that I found this site in April, the people here have helped me through many a tough day. Here we can talk about the things that we are having trouble dealing with, or just come here for support from people who know what we are experiencing.

Praying for all of us on this journey we did not want to make.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[melina]

I'm so sorry you had to join this group, and that you were widowed so young. How wonderful though that you had several years with such a fantastic man.

I lost my husband to lung cancer nearly four months ago, even though he'd never smoked. We were together for 29 years, married for 28. We have four sons between the ages of 19 and 26. The youngest lives at home.

It sounds like you're managing practical stuff very well, though I know things must have been incredibly tough - what with a newborn to think about.

I come to this site whenever I need a friend to talk to - here I have loads of them - and all of them understand how it feels to be widowed even if we're in different situations.

Melina

[wmjsca]

Bugszy,

I am so sorry for your loss, and so, very young with young children. I can only imagine having gone through this at your age. It's difficult at any age, though, and although I wish we'd met under different circumstances, I'm happy you found the forum.

My Clint died on October 22, 2010, had been feeling ill for some months prior, but the medical community told us he was suffering from minor infections, but nothing serious. He died within a week of a cancer diagnosis two months after his discharge from the hospital where he'd been under 'observation' for four days. They had run the gamut of tests, but found nothing. I remain very angry at what I feel was ineptitude.

We had been together only six years; he was 53 and I'm 52, but he was the most wonderful man I'd ever known and he cared and loved me. I can say now that I truly know I was loved.

You have to hold on to that, as well. Know you and your children were loved.

I found this forum a week after he died and they understand our situation better than anyone I have spoken with here in my life, for you have to lose a spouse or partner to understand that level of loneliness and despair. You all know that it doesn't 'disappear' after the funeral--I think some people believe that.

Stay in touch. This is a wonderful source of support.

[Dimcl]

Welcome, Kristia. I'm so sorry for the loss of your young husband. I lost my Glenn, suddenly, a little under a month ago. We had been together for 33 years. We had no children, it was just always the two of us, and like you and your Michael, we were a rock-solid team. The last time I saw Glenn was at 8:00 PM on a Sunday evening and at 2:15 AM, I was awakened by a phone call telling me that he had died. We had been talking about getting him home from hospital just 6 hours earlier! I'm not sure we will ever get over the shock of something like that, but you sound like you're handling things as best you can. Perhaps you will be able to help us "newbies" on this site, as well as help yourself cope.

[nats]

Hello Kristia,

I feel your heartache, emptiness, and loss, my wife Ruth joined God on 2/14/10 it's been an up and down 10 months, I offer you my prayers that God will comfort you and be with you as you "heal"....this is a greatplace to share and learn from others as we all have the same thing in common and understand each others feelings and thoughts, I am trying to take a positive approach to our journey as the negative energy is not "healing" and I know Ruth would have been sad seeing me grieve and so lost, I also can't remember much of the first 3 months, but I'm taking things day by day and healing slowly....you are going to find great people and stories here and we have much to learn from each other so stay in touch and we all welcome you....

May God Bless You and your family.....

NATS

[sunstreet]

Kristia,

I am so sorry for your loss. I feel and understand your pain You have found a good, kind, and non-judgemental place to share and to listen as you weather this journey that none of us want to be on. I am 52, I lost my wife to suicide, and it will be 7 years this December 25. The first year is an absolute blur, the next two I was numb, for the last 4 years I have been moving through this journey.

You will find great people here, sharing and caring for one another. We all have so much to learn from one another. It is a place that offers solace, a place you can count on, when often we don't experience that anywhere else. We all welcome you.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

[kayc]

Kristia,

I'm so sorry for your loss, you are younger than my daughter and can't imagine losing someone when you're still so young, although I know there's other young widows here.

This is a good place to come to where you can feel understood and there's plenty of others going through similar things. I say similar because all of our journeys are unique.

[Chrissie]

Kristia,

I am so sorry for your loss but am very glad you found this site. There are a lot of very nice people here that can feel your pain. When I first posted, Korina gave me some good advice that I'd like to pass on to you. Let yourself grieve, try to eat something and try to get some sleep. You need all the strength you can get to make it through this journey. We are all here for you!

Chris