Perkins808 Posted December 14, 2010 Report Share Posted December 14, 2010 Ok, I just need to vent. I'm not sure if any of you have had to deal with an ex-wife on top of the whole grieving process....but I have to deal with my husbands ex since the day he died. I am grateful now that I was numb for pretty much the month after Jeff died - because I had no reaction at the funeral home when his ex-wife insisted on standing next to me in the receiving line. I think back on it now and cringe that this woman (who had caused my husband great pain, cheated on him, left him and their children to go live with her new boyfriend, etc.) stood in front of his parents in that receiving line when she should have never been in the line to begin with. She waited a whole week to start hounding me for life insurance paperwork, paperwork to a 32 ft camper that her and Jeff shared. During the party we had to celebrate Jeff's birthday in October, one of Jeff's children gave me a letter Mom had written....requesting all of their Christmas ornaments back. I was heartbroken....I was still holding out hope that maybe my stepdaughters would still be able to come and decorate "our" tree like we had when their Dad was alive. My husband told me shortly after we got married that his ex-wife had called him the night before our wedding and asked him if he was sure he knew what he was doing, was he sure that he could trust me. Clearly she thought that since Jeff had just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer that I would only be marrying him for whatever I would get if he died. What she didn't know was that he and I had talked about his will, and I was adamant that the ex-wife was to remain the beneficiary of his life insurance because he still had children that needed to be taken care of. He made it clear (but not legally binding) that the money was to be used for their education. Now I hear from my oldest stepdaughter who is a freshman in college that she had to take out sizeable student loans....and Mom has gone out and bought a brand new boat and car since Dad's death. I think of how Jeff would be reacting to all of this and all I want to do is cry. He would be crushed. I guess the final straw was yesterday when I stopped by to visit my in-laws. My mother in law told me that she had run into the ex in the grocery story. The ex asked how they were holding up and they said they had their days. She responded that she too had HER days. I couldn't help being really angry, like she had given up her right to "her days" when she kicked him to the curb. Yes, I know she is entitled to her grief....I think it just annoyed me that she was trying to get sympathy from Jeff's parents who are already having such a hard time dealing with the loss of their son. I feel like a terrible person for having all these negative thoughts about her. It is so unlike me, and I would probably never say any of this stuff out loud to anyone....but it's a comfort to write down my thoughts and share them with you. Thanks for listening! Tammy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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