sunstreet Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 I want to thank everyone who has messaged or emailed me with your thoughts of concern. It has touched me deeply. I have not been on the site in a while due to a myriad of reasons. I have lupus and I have had a flare up off and on for the past while. I have had to go back to work full time due to financial necessity and had to have a rehap specialist come in and work with my employer to come up with a plan that I could work 8 hour shifts in a day, 40 hours a week. The other thing that has prevented me from coming on the site as much as I'd like and need is that I have been doing some intensive therapy due to some memories surfacing for me and a need to process them with my therapist. I am feeling better health wise now and so hope to get my full energy back soon and back on the site on a regular basis as before. The other thing that has developed is that I have reached the decision that it is time to move, into the city, where I will be able to get my health needs better met. I will also be able to go to school as I have a desire to further my education. I feel like saying I have been absent because I have been busy doing some very deep work with my therapist and healing the core of me. My Melissa would be so very proud. The only sadness I feel now in regards to Melissa is that she is not here to share and witness my healing and growth, but then again I sense her very near and she knows... I still have not sold my bike and frankly have given myself permission to just let it be till I feel I know what I want to do for sure. I no longer feel intense pain about it now, I don't even feel sad about it anymore. I am not even sure I will get a convertible because truth be known my hearing loss will eventually render me unable to drive at all. I think this is another reason I am going to move to the city where transit will be available to me. I was blessed to have been loved by the most amazing woman and I loved her and I know that not many experience this kind of love, so how lucky was I? I feel happiness when I think on our life together now. I don't feel pain, I don't feel sadness, I just feel so blessed and so loved. I hope you all reach this healing too one day. Anyhow, because a few of you have expressed concern, I wanted to check in and give you all an update. When I have even more energy back, I will catch up with all of your posts, till then know even in my absence I think of you all, and send my love and support. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nicholas Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Hope all goes OK and thanks for all the kind advice you have offered me at my times of deep distress. Nicholas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melina Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 So glad to hear you're okay, Carol Ann. I thought maybe you had reached a point where you felt able to do without a support group for a while, and it does sound like you're moving forward at a good pace. Sorry about your lupus though. I've been considering a move to the city as well, but not yet. Maybe in another year. Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Good to hear from you Carol Ann, will be thinking of you and praying for you. Mary (queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Hi Carol Ann, Thanks for your update, I am sorry for all that you are going through right now... Thanks for being you and helping me deal with some very difficult things you are truly an angel... Hope you continue to get better and if you need anything just ask... Your friend Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 You have our healing thoughts and loving support as well, Carol Ann. Please take whatever time you need to take good care of you. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted March 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Hope all goes OK and thanks for all the kind advice you have offered me at my times of deep distress. Nicholas Dear Nicholas, You are very welcome and thank you too for your support of me and for sharing your son Thanomsil with me. I am both deeply touched and honoured. I continue to hold you in gentle thought and prayer as you continue to seek healing. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted March 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 So glad to hear you're okay, Carol Ann. I thought maybe you had reached a point where you felt able to do without a support group for a while, and it does sound like you're moving forward at a good pace. Sorry about your lupus though. I've been considering a move to the city as well, but not yet. Maybe in another year. Melina Dear Melina, Thank you for your empathy and yes I am ok. Rest assured I am one strong woman. I just needed to take some time to get the lupus under control again. I also needed to focus on my therapy and do some very deep work and healing, which I have accomplished. I do feel I have come to a place in regards to my loss of Melissa where I rarely am overcome with pain. I do feel I want to support all of you here whose loss is still so new and raw, for I know so well the pain of healing and how much we all need to know that others are listening and care. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted March 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Good to hear from you Carol Ann, will be thinking of you and praying for you. Mary (queeniemary) in Arkansas Thank you very much Mary! I am happy to be back in the saddle so to say! I hope you are continuing on this path of healing and life just feels better and better. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted March 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Hi Carol Ann, Thanks for your update, I am sorry for all that you are going through right now... Thanks for being you and helping me deal with some very difficult things you are truly an angel... Hope you continue to get better and if you need anything just ask... Your friend Shelley Dear Shelley, Thank you so much for your empathy! You are more than welcome my friend! I have done some very deep work with my therapist and can actually say that I feel healed right at the root of the "darkness" I am going to call it. Therapy works Shelley, I encourage you to always go towards the Light and it will illuminate the way! Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted March 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 You have our healing thoughts and loving support as well, Carol Ann. Please take whatever time you need to take good care of you. ♥ Dear Marty, Thank you for the blessing of you! I find it hard to express with mere words how I feel about you! I hope you know that you are beyond compare in my mind. May you be blessed! For some reason I feel like sharing this quote with you. There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul. Arnold Bennett Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Carol Ann, I haven't been on as much lately...my FIL passed away on the 10th and that has kind of consumed my time lately. My son has been here since the funeral, although I haven't seen much of him, mostly his dog. I'm sorry your Lupus has been flaring up. It sounds like moving to the city makes sense, planning for your upcoming needs. Please check in here now and then and let us know how you're doing, we will miss you. Wishing you well, Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beakerj Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Hey Carol Anne - glad to see you here, it's just good to know how you are, I'd missed you around here. I'm really delighted for you that you feel like your therapy is touching the heart of your problems, what a great thing to know & experience. I'm going to start looking for a counsellor too, it's hard work just keeping on right now. Much love to you, & constant admiration. Becka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted April 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Carol Ann, I haven't been on as much lately...my FIL passed away on the 10th and that has kind of consumed my time lately. My son has been here since the funeral, although I haven't seen much of him, mostly his dog. I'm sorry your Lupus has been flaring up. It sounds like moving to the city makes sense, planning for your upcoming needs. Please check in here now and then and let us know how you're doing, we will miss you. Wishing you well, Kay Dear Kay, Thank you so very much and I am so sorry for the loss of your Father-in-law. I know that you two were very close.....take good care. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted April 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Hey Carol Anne - glad to see you here, it's just good to know how you are, I'd missed you around here. I'm really delighted for you that you feel like your therapy is touching the heart of your problems, what a great thing to know & experience. I'm going to start looking for a counsellor too, it's hard work just keeping on right now. Much love to you, & constant admiration. Becka Dear Becka, Thank you so very much....it feels good to know that I am missed. I have missed being here and you and everyone here. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted April 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2011 Hello to all, I am doing very well and on a vacation week at present from work and have some time to come and say hello to everyone. To give you an update that I am doing well. I have been doing some very in depth personal work that has served to be such a catalyst for my growth and well-being and final acceptance of all the loss in my life. I lost a very dear friend recently that was difficult to accept but have worked through my loss of him now I feel. He gave me gifts that I did not even realize till after he had died. Sometimes we just can't see our blessings due to our pain. He was a resident at the long term care facility where I volunteer. He was ready to die and welcomed it, what a true treasure for me to have had the honor of his friendship. Anyhow, will be on again soon but just wanted to check in and say hello and let you all know that I hold you all in gentle thought, care, understanding and prayer. Until later ~ Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostmyHoney Posted April 21, 2011 Report Share Posted April 21, 2011 Carol Ann, Im so glad to hear from you, was beginning to worry... Rachel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted April 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 21, 2011 Dear Rachel, I am so sorry that you were beginnning to harbour some worry for me. Let me reassure you that I am well. I have needed to be away in order to do some intensive work with my treatment team in regards to my physical health and some intensive work with my therapist in regards to my emotional self. This work required all of my energy. So worry not Rachel, I am a peaceful warrior, shedding Light into the darkness at every opportunity, and am stronger now than ever before. My Melissa is beaming with love and pride for me and I rest knowing she is resting at even a deeper and authentic peace now. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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