kayc Posted May 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 If someone told me last year I would be living with my sister I would have asked for one of whatever they were drinking. I like that! I'm glad I couldn't have known how my life would go...I don't know that I could have handled it. There's a reason they say one day at a time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azbrian Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Well KayC, I know I am right about unemployment can be extended past six months if you apply and they approve. I did find out this afternoon that max unemployment $214 week/net, $856 month/net gets you $16.00 a month in nutrition assistance. That's because I make too much money, that's right I make too much money. Why not just say denied, period. Really ? Are they laughing when they tell people $4.00 a week? They at first cut my medical as well because I made too much as well but then gave me 5 months for first time use per state law. I have never collected any unemployment or any other kind of benefits in my life prior to January of this year. I am 51 and have been working and paying taxes since I was 15. Got to get back to work, I really don't what to deal with our government any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 I won't qualify for food assistance or anything else. In fact, they're giving away free wood stoves or replacing heating ducts, etc. and I applied (my wood stove is 33 years old) and they denied it because I am "out of the district" yet they have given them to others out of the city, and of course I'm "in their district" when they call me day after day and tell me it's a "no burn" day. I hope you find some work soon, it's stressful being out of work. I don't worry so much about losing everything (materially) as I do my dog...I can't imagine there being a place that would rent to me with a 90 lb. rambunctious dog that's a chewer and a digger...but he's my life, I just can't lose him. So I try to hang on to my house as long as I can to provide a home for him. He's only three so I was hoping I could stay here at least as long as he lives. Well, God knows all of our needs and I know I need to trust Him...it's just that when you see people starving or freezing to death, it kind of hurts your faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melina Posted May 20, 2011 Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 It seems as though few people talk about widows/widowers and financial troubles, even though that's a big problem for many of us. When you're used to managing a household with two incomes, and being able to do repairs and heavy work without having to hire someone, it's pretty overwhelming when you suddenly find yourself alone with it all. I tried to read a book about coping as a widow, but had to toss it aside. The woman who wrote it was a widow - but obviously a widow who was very well off. On the section about financial issues, she suggested cashing in stocks and bonds, and maybe selling or moving to your second home, to get rid of any debts or mortgages you might have. Second home? Stocks and bonds? We never had any of that to begin with. As for getting rid of debts and mortgages - I may manage that by the time I'm 90, if I live that long. Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 I hear you, Melina. One widow told me, after George died, that I should go on a cruise. A cruise? I wondered if she was nuts! I was remortgaging my house to pay off medical, hospital, ambulance, doctors and she suggested a cruise? I didn't get a $350,000 life insurance policy like she did, and even if I had of, I wouldn't have felt like a cruise five months after his death! Clearly we aren't all experiencing the same thing. And by the way, her husband passed away two months AFTER mine did, so it's not like she'd been widowed for years... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Oh my dear Kay, I am so sorry to learn of this! So much for one person to have happen to them. My heart reaches out to you and Kay "yes even this to shall pass" It is going to be a difficult path to go down but I have faith in your resilience to see you through. Through your posts I experience as a wise, resourceful woman and I don't expect that to change now. Know that I hold you in thought and prayer as you trod down this path. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Dear Kay, Harry is right, there is a lot of help out there for you if you take the time and look. When I quite my job to take care of my wife Pauline I didn't know what I would do for income. A good friend told me as I was saying goodbye to him he said. Dwayne you are a very kind man and always you try to help other employees when you can God will not let you down he will provide and opportunity to you and he did. Pauline contacted the PCA program and I became her PCA. It was the only way I could afford to stay home and take care of her. After she passed I was unemployed again. I didn't know how I would be able to stay in the place were we have lived for 21 years. Unemployment just gives me enough to pay the bills. Like you jobs are far and few between, so I decided to go into nursing where there are jobs. Unemployment will pay for the schooling, I have been approved. I had to take tests and the career center for them to approve me for the funding. I had not taken a test since 1973. I passed and now when the funding comes in so in July I will start my schooling. I can't wait to start. So look around your area and you will find places to help you. Is it scary you bet. But in the end you will come out a lot better than when you went in. God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 (Just as an aside here, I wanted to share that in one of my past career positions I was a psychiatric nursing instructor ~ and my most favorite students were the "older" ones ~ those in their 40s, 50s and 60s ~ because they knew who they were, they'd already experienced first-hand many of life's most significant challenges, and they knew exactly why they wanted to become nurses. They were the most motivated and most mature people in my classes, and I loved them. You are never "too old" to become a nurse ♥) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 MartyT The wound nurse that came once a week to do the wound care and see who I was doing on supplies told me the very same thing. You are never to old to become a nurse and that I had what it takes to be a good nurse. When I am done with the course I start in July I will be 57. I remember the day Pauline passed away. The hospice nurse that deals with the patient was in the kitchen looking out the window and my sister in-law seen she was crying. She thought it was odd because she deals in taking care of the death part all the time. She asked the nurse why she was crying because she sees this all the time. She told my sister in-law because of that man in there and the care he is giving her after death and all the time before she passed. You never know what you have in you until the time is needed. I can not wait until July to start and the get certified and get a job to help other people in need. God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Dwayne, You are so brave! To take a test when you haven't had one in 38 years and pass it, that's amazing! I'm 58 so I can relate. The young people are so quick with technology but we have a few things to offer too...one of which is grammar (a lost art today) and the other is life's experience, wisdom, knowing how to handle things. There is so much I do in the course of my job that a young person with a degree wouldn't know where to start! I'm going to make it my goal to try and lose some weight...it's hard for a woman who looks sixty to get a job...so I figure if I can lose weight I can pass for mid to late 40s and maybe be proffered a chance. I'm also going to work on balance...dividing my time up between catching things up at home, looking for work, doing some fun things, etc. Five years ago when I found myself in this situation, I learned it's important to take some time off to regroup so I looked for work every other day and spent every other day doing something else, like housework or art work. It's so important to remain in a positive mind set and you can't if you spend every minute every day getting doors slammed in your face, we have to regroup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Dear Kay, I am glad to hear you sounding so positive and then again I am not surprised. Sometimes we just don't know what we are capable of till we thrown into a situation and we find out that we are stronger than we ever knew. I want to share that when I fled my family; I did so with the clothes on my back and my two cats; and here I am now: a Pharmacy Technician/Diabetes Educator. My latest vision is to become a crisis-support worker; and help other women transition from abuse and oppression to freedom and life, and I am 53. Kay where there is a will there is a way. Kay, I was wondering if there was a women's centre at all where you live. If so, they may provide a wealth of in person support and information as to what government programs you may be eligible for etc. in addition to all of us here who are rooting you on all the way. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Kay, I haven't been on this site the past few days, I'm so sorry to hear about your job, thats awful. You must feel overwhelmed right now and I wish there was something I could say to help. Like Evelyn, you could stay with me but I'm clear across the country. Not to harp on the negative but since Larry's death it has been one thing after another here too. I'm hanging on by a thread. Please let us know whats happening, hold on, your are strong and I'll pray that something positive comes your way soon. Love to you, Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Deborah, thanks...I worry about everything when I wake up in the early am...I've lived in the same place for 34 years and everyone left me with all of their stuff. There's stuff above the garage I can't even get to, so much stuff from a family's living over the years, childhood toys and furniture, all of my son's stuff (he's in college) including vehicles that he meant to get running...even if I were foreclosed on and had to vacate, I don't begin to know what to do with all of this stuff. Oh well, I guess worrying doesn't help any. I'm just so tired...I almost wish the world had ended Saturday so we wouldn't have to keep going on like this, I've never seen times as hard as they are now, so many out of work and being foreclosed on, the world in such a mess, wars, tornadoes...it would be a welcome relief to go to heaven and be with our loved ones, wouldn't it. Ahh but I keep going because I have to, I have a beloved dog that depends on me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 I know what you mean. My two dogs (larrys and mine) are what I get up for, they need me to take care of them, how could I not. If I lose where I live, I don't know where I could go with 2 dogs but I'm not giving them up for anything. We had horrible storms here last night, my fence split in half, trees down everywhere and I'm so tired. I guess we have to take it one minute at a time. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 Oh Deborah, I'm so sorry to hear it. Sometimes it's so hard to keep going. I think most men are better at coping with physical things they can do (like mending fences) whereas we lack the brawn and often the training to take care of our places. We're used to different kinds of work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 Dear Kay, I am thinking of you and want to let you know. I offer my encouragement, support and care. One moment at a time Kay. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Dear Deborah, Sorry to hear about the storm...hope you are weathering it ok... Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Dear Kay, Thinking of you and sending an abundance of care and support. One breath, one moment at a time dear Kay. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2011 Carol Ann, Thank you...your messages always seem to come at just the right time, when I'm at my lowest. I wasn't on line much this weekend and yesterday was my last day "full time" at work and my day was extremely full trying to get everything done for the week there. I'm still checking my email and keeping up bank reports daily, trying to keep my options open in the event something changes there, although I realize I'd be the last one returned to work due to the nature of my job...my job is not revenue generating like the others' jobs are. I filed unemployment and they require you to fill out "working in Oregon" in order to collect benefits...that turned out to be 55 pages and took hours! They still aren't showing as a valid claim on line so I'm hoping it just means they need to catch up and not that I need to contact them. Well, time to go walk the dog and then to organize my day. There's so much to do and I don't feel like doing any of it but am trying to force myself. Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted June 1, 2011 Report Share Posted June 1, 2011 Dear Kay, It is good to hear from you. I am sorry again Kay; that had to be tough going through your last day of full time work there. Wow! Unemployment sounds like a nightmare! I hope it becomes a valid claim for you. When you are feeling your darkest: may the sun come out and shine and illuminate your way. I have Faith dear Kay; that this will not defeat you; for you are a person who perserveres and are resilient beyond measure. I don't see that changing for you now. Know I hold you in gentle thought and prayer. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mikaerin Posted June 1, 2011 Report Share Posted June 1, 2011 It WILL pass, everything in impermanent and in a state of flux, make some merit and things will improve - I hope! I read today that Stephen Hawking, our renowned (terminally ill) academic, said there is no after life, that once the brain dies, it is like a computer shutting down. I hope he doesn't comment on rebirth or I might be devastated. Take care and good luck. Nicholas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mikaerin Posted June 1, 2011 Report Share Posted June 1, 2011 Stephen dead Stephen is a scientest Not a spirituralist There is soul and the soul never ever dies Your loved one watches you now They are very close by Having a reading done really helps I suggest it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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