kayc Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 I got my notice yesterday. No severance pay, nothing, I won't even be compensated for the two weeks vacation I've had coming for months. I won't have enough to make my house payment, I don't know what I'm going to do. I've been waking up anywhere from 2:30 to 4:00 and can't go back to sleep...this morning it was 3:15 am. Jobs are nonexistent here and houses aren't selling...due to the drop in the market my house is worth 67% less than it was two years ago so now I'm upsidedown. I can't even live in the back in of my truck...the transmission is out. Please tell me, somebody, that this too shall pass??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nicholas Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 It WILL pass, everything in impermanent and in a state of flux, make some merit and things will improve - I hope! I read today that Stephen Hawking, our renowned (terminally ill) academic, said there is no after life, that once the brain dies, it is like a computer shutting down. I hope he doesn't comment on rebirth or I might be devastated. Take care and good luck. Nicholas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perkins808 Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Oh Kayc, I am so sorry. Doesn't it always seem like when it rains, it pours?? I too feel that everything is a temporary situation and yes, this too shall pass. It's just somehow surviving in the moment that is hard. Keep your chin up and try to find a reason to smile every day - we're all here to emotionally support you! Hugs, Tammy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melina Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Kay, This is awful! How can they treat people that way? No severance pay or vacation even though they owe you?! That doesn't even sound legal. It does seem like you've been burdened with more than one person should be able to handle. All I can say is that this too MUST pass. I'm not sure how to help you other than pray for something positive to happen. Where in Alaska are you living? Are there any other opportunities with, say, temp agencies? I know that times are rough over there for job seekers. Would the bank allow you to skip a couple of payments while you're looking for work? Even if you get less for your house than you would want, would you be able to sell and move somewhere where the housing market is cheaper? Or would you be stuck with the mortgage payments anyway? I have a friend who moved from Washington all the way to South Carolina. Despite the tornado, she's doing better there - it's cheaper and she spends less on heating. I probably don't have a clue as to what I'm talking about. But my thoughts are with you. Would you be able to stay with one of your kids or one of your sisters in the meantime - or is that out of the question? Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Oh Kay, I'm so sorry to learn this awful news. I don't understand why the hits just keep coming for you ~ I just know that you are a survivor and somehow you will find a way to get through this. I hope you can feel our collective arms around you. You are in our thoughts and prayers ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ustwo Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 KayC I'm so sorry to hear about this. You've survived the worst pain anyone can go through with the loss of George. You WILL survive this somehow. Everyone here has been uplifted by your strong spirit, determination, and faith. I know you will get through all this. Wish we lived closer.......I have two empty big bedrooms. My prayers and love are going your way. Always Gene! Always! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 And Nicholas, I share your dismay at Steven Hawking's latest comments. You might find these posts by author Linda Pendleton to be of interest: Heaven's a Fairy Tale? Physicist Steven Hawking Puts God Out of the Picture Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melina Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Marty and Nicholas, The way I see it - Stephen Hawking may be smart, but he's never been dead. So how would he really know what's to come? Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Kay, All of us can only imagine how it feels to lose so much and the possibility of losing your home is so tough. You are in my prayers and thoughts. I hope there is a temp agency near by that can help you stay employed so you do not lose the house. We all know our homes are our places of comfort, especially now. As for afterlife....Steven Hawking, though gifted with a brilliant mind, in my opinion is just a man with an opinion. None of us can understand the mystery of death but 82% of Americans believe in it...that is a lot of people....many have evidence that their loved ones exist after death....and Steven, as so well stated here, has never died to see what happens. Others who have experienced near death experiences have returned and proclaim an afterlife. And reincarnation is included in that, as far as I am concerned...it all says we are spirit being human..not the other way around. I am with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nicholas Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 I shall read those articles with interest; I never realized Stephen Hawking was so well known, not being an academic I was never interested in what he thought or wrote. When I was in the hospital and the doctor had told me that my son was brain-dead and couldn't hear, see or feel anything, but was still breathing, I would have taken a lot of convincing that there was an after life. When he stopped breathing shortly afterwards, I felt the same. But he was Buddhist and felt that he would move on to his next life, I just wish that I had taken the opportunity to discuss his views on this, but he was never one for profound discussions and just took it all for granted. So anyone out there who has recently acquired a puppy, it could be my son, as he was convinced he would be a dog in his next life. So please look after your new puppy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Oh Kay I'm so sorry to hear about your job. I can only imagine how discouraging this must feel to you. I can't comprehend the loss of security and can only imagine the fears you are facing. I hope that you are able to take some time to evaluate your options. Change has always been so difficult for me. It appears that you face another hardship that will require great care and baby steps. Your experience along the grief journey will allow you to persevere again. I hope our collective support will help you along this new road. My only advice is to seek the help of a good financial planner. Many out there will want you to file bankruptcy so that they can collect a fee. There are often options that people never hear about. Many will sit with you and share there opinion without a fee. I am so sorry that you must face this new challenge. Hugs! Cheryl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Nicholas, I haven't read his material either and from the sounds of it, am not inclined to. What he thinks doesn't matter to me one way or another. However, on the subject of brains and afterlife... I am quite positive there is an afterlife. I don't need to prove it to anyone else to believe it myself. I won't debate it with others...again, what others think doesn't matter so much to me as what I know to be true within myself. If I'm wrong, they can sue me. Regarding the residence of where our soul resides...the soul being the very essence of us, the center or core of our being...the one thing I do know is it does not reside in the brain. How do I know this? It was brought home to me when my little sister had a baby born without a brain. She had only the nubbin of a brain to control her reflexes and keep her alive...just enough to allow breathing. She could not eat, she had to be fed through a "button" placed in her stomach. She could feel pain and comfort. She had no cognitive ability. She did not have the ability to form an opinion or learn something or know her parents. But she had a spirit, a very sweet spirit. And getting to know her was one of the greatest privileges of our lives. She lived two years and then she passed away. Our soul or spirit resides on even when our brain does not...and even when our heart ceases to beat. We can no longer reach that person that we know when their body has totally ceased function...I witnessed that when my husband George passed away. I looked at his lifeless body and knew "he" was not there. There lay the empty shell that he had inhabited but no longer had need of. But HE was released to some other place...a place I do not know, a place I will join him someday. And THAT is my hope! When all the cares of this life are over for us, and we no longer have need of or concern about jobs, homes, Rxs, food, etc. and our lives are over here we will continue to exist...somewhere else...in a place that transcends this one. Our loved ones are not just waiting for us but they are enjoying their new home and expectantly awaiting the day they can share it with us. I'm so glad my hope is not defined by what someone else thinks or writes, but is a knowledge within myself of what's to come. I do not have to know all of the answers to know this much, for it is enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kavish Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 hi Kayc, Please know that you are a special person and you have the spirits with you. I hope you can stand above this. Keep positive. Regards, Kavish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azbrian Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 KayC, I am sorry that happened and I know exactly how you feel, that is what happened to me last December and I am still looking. KayC, it does seem that the hits keep coming and test that "it won't be more than you can bear" saying. Finally this past Sunday I took some time and let any and all emotions run their full course. Only reason I mention this and I know I am new to this group. Is it does seem to have helped me focus a little more on things I know I need to be doing. Since my loss of Ruth is recent and I am still learning, I guess I am not really sure yet how to help support others in here but I did want to let you know I am thinking about you and hope you catch a break soon. We all need one of those once in awhile.......... Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Thank you all for your responses. The biggest hurdle I'll need to tackle, and it will be a daily one, is keeping a positive focus. I can't always control the circumstances but my attitude and focus are the most important things I can try to control. Melina, I'm in Oregon, not Alaska (you probably got that idea because of the snow. My mortgage doesn't have a skip option payment and my loan doesn't allow me to rent it out or live elsewhere. If it goes into default/foreclosure, the borrower is on line to pay the difference between what it sells for and what is owed. Banks are not in the sales business and don't often care what it sells for because they can come after you for it so it's not always in the best interest to let it go back to them. It behooves a person to do a quick sale before it gets to that point but if you are upsidedown, you're still on line for the difference. An interesting note, if you do rent a place the legalities change when you sell...if you sell at a loss you still are on the line to pay the IRS the high capital gains even though you lost money. It's all a bit complicated and I'm trying not to worry about all of that right now, one thing at a time. Temping works best if you live nearby, which I don't. Most of the jobs here are part time and low paying, which you can't afford to do with a costly commute. Kind of a Catch-22. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Kayc, so sorry about the job, how rotten of them to do it that way. I know you will find a way to survive, but having been in that sort of situation when I was younger, I know how awful it feels, and how helpless you feel. Prayers for strength for you. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkanas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melina Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Kay, Hopefully we can help you keep a positive focus. That might force us to think positively as well. You've had so many doors closing on you, that a new door is bound to open soon. Why did I think you were in Alaska? Can't figure that one out. It even says Oregon under your name. And I'm from Washington state, so I should have connected those two places. That's how well my brain is working these days. Sorry... Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Dear Kay, There are times I really hate banks, bankers, capitalists, etc. This is one of those times. Hang in there. A couple of, hopefully useful, thoughts. First, I assume you qualify for unemployment benefits. Go talk to them as soon as possible. Second, is the company closing? Or is this some kind of major down-sizing? If either is the case there may be some additional state or federal help you can get access to. Here, a major closing brings in a dozen state agencies to help people find work, pay their bills, get retrained,etc. Look into that kind of thing out there. Talk to your local state rep. They may know where to look better than anyone for these kinds of programs. Remind them you vote and you know people who vote--but delicately. Third, I don't know how old you are, but you might qualify for some social programs if you are over 55. Check with the Council on Aging or whatever your elder affairs agency is called. They may be able to help. Finally, talk with your bank. They would rather have you living there paying them something than own the property themselves and be getting nothing. You may find they are more willing to negotiate something favorable to you than you think--especially with the market as it is. I really feel for you. This is one of those times I want to pull God up on the phone and play Ricky Ricardo with him/her. Somebody has some explaining to do here. Hang in there Kay. And, oh yeah, Stephen Hawking--who has been terminally ill longer than a good segment of the population has been alive--may know a lot about physics, but he is still a twerp. How many wives has he gone through? Neither he nor they have gotten to "Death do us part," yet. That puts all of us well ahead of him in the social development scale. A scientist friend once told me that when an old scientist tells you something is impossible he is nearly always wrong--no matter how logical his reasons. And a young scientist who tells you something is possible--no matter how impossible it seems--is usually right. Might I point out that Stephen is an old scientist? So we should take all he says with a large grain of salt. Hope things improve on your end quickly, Kay. You are good people. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 The company I work for is laying off but it's a very small company, they don't usually bring in people to help transition unless it has a larger group of people. If I can't figure something out soon, I will have to talk to my banker. Melina, you must be a neighbor! Are you in Seattle or where? My son used to live in Tacoma when he was in the Air Force...he still has a Washington phone number. I will definitely take you up on your offer to help me keep positive focus. I begin my layoff in two weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryo Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Kay, I am so sorry about your job. I will keep you in my prayers. Mary Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melina Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Melina, you must be a neighbor! Are you in Seattle or where? My son used to live in Tacoma when he was in the Air Force...he still has a Washington phone number. I will definitely take you up on your offer to help me keep positive focus. I begin my layoff in two weeks. Kay, I grew up just outside of Seattle, but I live in Norway. So unfortunately we're not really neighbors. Was your son at McChord Air Force Base? Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nicholas Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Good luck Kayc, we have government handouts here in the UK & mortgage assistance, etc - but we still have that idiot Stephen Hawking! Take care. Nicholas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainey Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Kay, I'm so sorry that you have a new burden to carry. Isn't there a saying of sorts that says 'the more burdens you carry, the stronger you are'? If that's true, you're a very strong woman. I hope you are able to work things out, it doesn't seem fair to not get any kind of severance or holiday pay. In Canada, we collect employment insurance when laid off. Do you have something like that to fall back on? Good luck and positive thinking Kay. Lainey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Yes we have unemployment...basically it is about 66% of your previous year's wages and it lasts six months (the formula is a little more complicated than that). I will continue to work one day a week and will spend an hour a day checking email, doing bank reports, etc even though not paid to do so. My boss hopes this is temporary but can't make promises and I've learned not to put my hopes in their optimism. I am not really sure what I will do as I can't live on unemployment with my high house payment but I'm sure something will work out, I just have some exploring to do. Most of all I appreciate all of your well wishes and will need all of you to help me with my focus in the next few months...I can't afford to get depressed and my life is depressing enough! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azbrian Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Hi KayC, I am in the same boat, unemployment and after Ruth passed I moved in with my sister until I find a job. Never thought that would ever happen but then there is a lot of things we think will never happen that do. If someone told me last year I would be living with my sister I would have asked for one of whatever they were drinking. Unemployment is some cases can last more than 6 months. I am hoping to be back to work somewhere before that though. Take Care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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