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Physical Pain - Result Of Grief?


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Does anyone else have trouble with muscle pain and soreness? Or joint pain? We've always been active people, and though I was pretty inactive the first month or so after my husband's death, I've since regularly gone walking/running with the dog. Every day. In addition my youngest son and I try to get to the gym a couple of times a week. Maybe not so much now during the summer.

All the same, I wake up every morning in pain. My whole body hurts. My joints seem stiff and need some time to loosen up in the morning. And the muscle tension and soreness in my neck, shoulders and back are bad almost all day. Exercise doesn't seem to help. I would pay for a massage if I could afford one, but I'm guessing the pain would return almost immediately.

I'm 53, so I shouldn't be this stiff and achy. Does muscle tension go with grief? Maybe it's because I have so much responsibility - that I'm always stressed and tense. Not sure. Anybody experiencing this? What do you do about it?

A friend of mine suggested Tai-Chi - but I'm thinking it might be just one more thing that doesn't work.

Melina

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Yes I have also. I thought it was because I was spending so much time crying in bed! But I found that I was tensing up my muscles due to being anxious and distraught. My widow friend swears that yoga is the key to reducing body stress and pain. I'm trying to get motivated to go to a class with her. I find that sitting in the jacuzzi and drinking wine helps! Cheryl

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Melina,

I too have been having problems with neck, back, muscle& joint soreness. This is new for me also. I have even thought that maybe all of the tears I shed keep me dehydrated. I think I just tense up all over and don't even realize it. Maybe I should learn to do Yoga, but don't know anything about it. I am 52 and also don't think I'm old enough to be this achey. I exercise on a treadmill and there is also 2 acres of yard work I now do that my husband use to take care of. The pain started right away after his death. Ibuprofen helps me some. If you find a solution, would love to know.

Pat

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Melina, Cheryl, Pat....I am with you all. I can not believe how my body has changed. Every joint aches, been in PT for months dealing with a shoulder issue after a fall, tired, ache all over....I attribute it to all the care giving and the stress. I find that walking helps...moving helps but I wake up in pain every day. I will read Marty's reference and see what that says. I feel like I need to get back to my Yoga and meditation and slowly, very slowly, get my body back. I have also read that these symptoms and more are frequently found in grieving people. Mary

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Dear Ones, you may find this article to be helpful: Yoga Philosophy | Loss and Grief

Very insightful article. The following quote from the article is a great truth, comforting and a bit liberating... , "the point is letting the pain be there�not getting over the pain but embracing it. It belongs to you, and it's right to feel it. It's hard to stay with pain, but doing so is an essential part of being human."

Thank you for the article.

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I'm sorry other people here are achy as well, but it's a relief, in a way, to know that this might be a part of grief too. I think maybe we're all tensing our bodies more than we think. Maybe that's why we're so exhausted.

Interesting article, Marty. Where I live there are few possibilities for classes. But we do have a yoga center, so I might enroll in a class for the fall. I read that Qi Gong and Tai Chi helps for chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia - so I thought maybe it would help me too. But unfortunately there is no Tai Chi nearby. So yoga it is.

Melina

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Dear Melina,

I am a perfect example on grief and how it effects your body. I have not had so many health problems my whole life, than I have had over the past 4 months. It really does a job on your health. I am on so many medications now I can not believe it. When will it end. I think that this is God telling me to slow down and it is time to take care of me, after taking care of Pauline for so many years, running full bore all the time. Now I have to take care of myself, so I can move forward. So it is not just you trust me it will all pass in time.

God Bless

Dwayne

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MartyT,

Thank you for the information. Like Melina, I think I will also look for a yoga class to see if it helps. The article was helpful for me today.

Pat

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Great article, Marty. I think Yoga is a good healer especially with the breathing and the philosophy behind it. Now to get going on it....very slowly. Also great reference to the life after life resource list. I spent some time at those sites last night. Thanks for all you do.

Mary

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You aren't alone in the aches and pains from the grief. I've said the very same thing, I'm too young to feel this bad. Stress takes its toll. Don't follow in my footsteps, for over 5 yrs. I had not taken care of myself, just pushed on, doing what I had to do to survive. Now its caught up with me. A hard lesson to learn. Deborah

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I was recently diagnosed with some knee problems, arthritis and then a syndrome where the cartilage wears away so that the thigh bone rubs against the knee cap. It's very painful and the Dr. told me that it's probably been going on for a few years. Funny how when I actually felt like I had a "life" I don't recall feeling any of this pain. Maybe it was there and I was just so busy that I didn't allow myself to feel it.....but I am certainly feeling it now. 40 years old and anything beyond walking will do me in for days.

My hope is that maybe when the grief is more bearable, the pain will be too?

I think I am going to look into some yoga classes.....at this point it won't hurt!

Hugs,

Tammy

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Melina, I have been in almost constant pain since my mom passed, mostly in my neck and shoulders. I know I should try yoga (I have a DVD that I used to do everyday) but I've had a hard time getting motivated. I would definitely recommend buying a DVD to do at home if you can't get to a class. I have one called Candlelight Yoga and it is put out by a company called Crunch (they have studios and offer classes in NYC).

Erin

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Friends,

I know I have been away for awhile. Relay for Life and teaching a class pretty much burned me out.

The day before Jane died I caught myself walking to the cafeteria at one point. I looked at how slowly and painfully I was moving and asked myself when it was I had gotten old. I have had more aches and pains this spring than I care to think about--but I just chocked it up to the fact I am in my late 50s and that the years were finally catching up to me. I also thought part of the problem was I wasn't sleeping well.

This week, despite more sleep, I felt exhausted when I started out the door for my walk. Yesterday, I pulled a muscle in my back--after stretching, mind you--while pulling weeds. Today, i woke up with the back still not right but went for my walk anyway. I did decide not to do yard work and have been working at mental things all day--I'll put them on a different post--and thought my back felt better--until I tried making dinner.

But I thought it was just me. Now all of you chime in with your aches--and it suddenly makes sense to me that even after a solid eight hours I am still tired. I am tensed up all the time. I'm wearing myself out with stupid muscle tension my grief won't let me let go of. I did yoga for years--and meditation. But when Jane got sick I slipped out of meditation. And I have not done enough yoga for years because of the time constraints of work. But I am going to have to get back to both. Tammy, if you find a yoga class, let me know. The discpline will help me get back into it. But I may start beforehand--if I can get this cranky back to co-operate.

Peace,

Harry

(Who is sitting here shaking his head about his own foolishness.)

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It is reassuring and disheartening to know we are all aching from head to toe...exhausted even after a decent night's sleep. I feel like I aged many years taking care of Bill and now feel like I am a hundred years old with every joint aching. I am going to attempt to motivate myself to use my DVD for people who are hurting... It is called Yoga for the Rest of Us by Peggy Cappy. http://www.amazon.com/Yoga-Rest-Us-Peggy-Cappy/dp/B0001IXT90 It is getting started that is hard. I, like so many of you, put my self aside to take care of Bill and then these many months of grieving have left me exhausted, hurting, and with low motivation.

Anyway, this DVD is good and it is simple and a slow start for those out of shape.

Mary

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Dear Melina,

As I said before, I am a classic example of how grief, can affect the body. I read the yoga article, I have a friend that has been doing it for years. He tells it has helped him a lot. When I get a job again and can afford the classes I intend to give it a try. I have a long way to go. Please Pray for me on Friday when the Foley comes out. If I still have problems next step is surgery. I do not want that. I had the acupuncture before for chronic pain and that helped a lot.

God Bless

Dwayne

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Harry,

A friend of mine told me about Leap of Faith in Dighton (it's right on 138, if you're coming from Somerset it's just past the police station on the right hand side). They have classes on Saturday mornings, so I think I am going to check it out. http://www.dreambelieveempower.com/#!yoga

I'll let you know how it goes!

Hugs,

Tammy

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