kayc Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 I have a very big positive today...I just received George's memorial stone that I'm placing in front of the tree where his ashes were scattered. It has a poem, with his name and birth/death dates on a brass plate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted June 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Kay, that is indeed a big positive. --Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Kay, congratulations and that is a beautiful sentiment you had engraved. I like the brass plate as well. How wonderful to have this to put in place. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 So very nice, Kay. I saw it on FB. You deserve a positive and I'm so glad you received one today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Lovely Kay, what a great positive! QMary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 25, 2014 Report Share Posted June 25, 2014 Absolutely lovely, Kay. Warms my heart ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 26, 2014 Report Share Posted June 26, 2014 I felt like it was ruined...the moment. I posted it on FB and a friend wrote "now a chapter can be closed." Seriously? Would she write that of her husband if he died? Why is it people are so clueless! I feel hurt and anger. I felt tears welling up inside of me but I felt like screaming too. Do they really think this is ever over? It's not, it's more like a life sentence, I'm just trying to learn to live with it. This is about honoring him, not "closing a chapter"! My life with him will never be "over". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 26, 2014 Report Share Posted June 26, 2014 Oh Kay, I am so sorry someone said such an uncaring thing. Evidently he/she has no clue. Those of us who do know that our lose is not about chapters that will ever be closed. I am just so sorry that you are hurting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted June 26, 2014 Report Share Posted June 26, 2014 Oh Kay. Can you imagine any of us saying such a crass thing. Put it out of your mind if you can and be aware that she has no idea of what we go through after losing our soul mates. Ugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted June 26, 2014 Report Share Posted June 26, 2014 So sorry Kay, your friend is clueless, and you just have to overlook what was said. If they had ever been in your shoes, they would know the "chapter" will never be closed. Don't let it ruin the moment. People who have not walked this path just do not have any real understanding. Hugs to you. QMary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted June 26, 2014 Report Share Posted June 26, 2014 Dear Kay, I am sorry that someone with so little compassion felt the need to post a comment. I hope you can let it go, and that you can invite all the loving energy and wonderful memories to surround and fill you, making this time of honoring George and your wonderful love and marriage a time of peace and gratitude. You deserve to have your feelings, your marriage, and the blessing of George's love honored. I thank you for sharing this precious time of remembering and honoring with us. {{{HUGS}}} fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 26, 2014 Report Share Posted June 26, 2014 Thanks you guys, it's been a long time since someone has said something so clueless to me and it caught me off guard. I'm going to have a talk with her this weekend when I see her. I was really surprised as she recently lost her mom but you know, it isn't the same as losing your soul mate and best friend, George was everything to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted June 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2014 Dear friends, First, Kay, people just have no clue. It is a pity they open their mouths sometimes. The last three days have been an emotional roller-coaster for me between the Nw England Carcinoid Conference, at which Jane's oncologist spoke and I finally got to put faces to some people I feel I've known forever online, the 19 hours of our local Relay for Life, and some strange news from my brother in Seattle. I'll write about the first two here and elsewhere later, but the news about my brother I will post here and now. Those of you out west may know that there has been considerable trouble in Seattle over police use of force. They are functioning under an agreement with the federal court to fix that problem. My brother was asked to work on putting together the training program for this back in January as the lieutenant. That has meant designing the curriculum and course for the program--and eventually teaching them. About a month ago, Seattle appointed a new police chief. About two weeks ago there was an incident in the South Precinct involving an alleged excessive use of force on a handcuffed woman following--or during--a domestic violence dispute. The precinct was under the command of an acting commander who was the senior lieutenant because the precinct commander had retired in May. Thursday, my youngest brother was promoted to captain and assigned command of the South Precinct. He has been a police officer for 25 years in Seattle and spent most of his career in that precinct. He has served there at every level and in pretty much every area. He says that if he has a police family, it is the South Precinct. But he has been away from it long enough--before the education assignment he was the lead LT. for emergency communications and pretty much ran the place, reforming everything about it in the process--that he knows where the problems are without being associated with them. It will be a good fit. Dave has been the department's designated firefighter for a long time. When there is a problem, they assign him to fix it. Like me, he is quite capable of being a plain blunt man who will not blink in the face of even a friend who has done wrong. He was one of the officers at the WTO conference in Seattle and did not hesitate to publicly criticize his superiors for their lack of effort in preparing the force adequately for that event. And he had no qualms about dismissing an old friend when the guy was not up to the task of handling emergency calls. He didn't like doing it, but people's lives were at stake. He led the move to community policing, created and trained officers for the bike patrol program, and was one of the people who created the original Seattle earthquake plan. I'm very proud of him--and pleased for him as well. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted June 29, 2014 Report Share Posted June 29, 2014 Congratulations on your brother's promotion, you have every right to be proud of him, Harry. How impressive! QMary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 29, 2014 Report Share Posted June 29, 2014 Clearly you and your brother are cut from the same cloth, Harry. How very proud of him you must be ~ as he is of you, I'm sure ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 29, 2014 Report Share Posted June 29, 2014 Birds of a feather, Harry....your family is devoted to helping and caring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 29, 2014 Report Share Posted June 29, 2014 This is such a positive to wake up to, Harry. Thanks for sharing about your brother, Dave. His job takes character. You should be proud. Brothers united in a cause of service. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted June 29, 2014 Report Share Posted June 29, 2014 This article which came to me through BrainPickings is a positive bit of thinking. It is about the placebo effect, and its application at a conceptual level. Enjoy! fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 29, 2014 Report Share Posted June 29, 2014 Very interesting piece, fae. Thanks for posting it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 29, 2014 Report Share Posted June 29, 2014 Harry, you must be so proud of your brother! I know intelligence runs in your family and I'm sure he'll use wisdom in his job. In my career, I could fire as easily as hire, but my motto, was first try to save the employee because we already had so much invested in them and I do think most people want to succeed, they just need help with direction getting there. There were times, though, when they left you no recourse but to fire, and in those times, I wouldn't care if they were a blood relative or friend, integrity of my position and what I had to do came first. Neither would I give a job recommendation unless I could think of something positive to say. Seattle will be better off with his leadership, of that I am sure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted June 30, 2014 Report Share Posted June 30, 2014 A positive for me, yesterday, though it made me cry. An artist who was an artist in residence on Spurn Point quite a few years ago asked to be my FB friend. I said yes, and wrote to ask him if he knew that my Pete had died. He responded that he Did, and that on the day of Pete's funeral he walked along Spurn beach and made a spiral for him. I never knew this. Spirals were sacred for us (still are). How truly lovely. The name of the artist is Martin Waters and his web site is Martin-waters.co.uk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 30, 2014 Report Share Posted June 30, 2014 Jan, what a lovely tribute to Pete. Spirals as you probably know date way back and were also placed on the entry way to the great cathedrals of Europe. Walking a spiral and walking a labyrinth has the same symbolism....the journey to the "center" pondering our lives as we walk; sitting in the center gaining insight; and walking back out again to our lives hopefully to be renewed on our paths. Lauren Artress, pastor at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, wrote Walking a Sacred Path and deepened the renewal to the use of labyrinths. http://www.amazon.com/Walking-Sacred-Path-Rediscovering-Labyrinth/dp/1594481814 https://labyrinthsociety.org/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 30, 2014 Report Share Posted June 30, 2014 Jan, I'm glad you had that good response. May I ask what a spiral is in this context? Forgive my ignorance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted June 30, 2014 Report Share Posted June 30, 2014 Kay, Just because I am nattering . . . Spiral images are one of the oldest forms of human art we know about. We have examples from very early times, pre-historic, paleolithic, and perhaps even earlier. Archaic era spirals abound all around Earth. In traditional societies and cultures, spirals represent the inward journey, the healing journey, the transformative journey, of the person in their body, out of their body, and within their body with high levels of inner awareness. Early spiral patterns for which we have (usually oral) traditions relate the use of the spiral as an image to dew us to our own center, to remove us from pain, or to reveal insights. There are other meaning and uses for spirals. Some function as labyrinth images or pathways, bringing the observer or walked into a shifted state of awareness. Smaller images are used to provide a form of self-hypnosis, although that statement is an over-simplification of the process, which can involve other people, other rituals, and sometimes natural substances that alter the state of consciousness (peyote and spiral use comes to mind) as well as providing an archetype image for the journey one makes while using these plants (or alkaloid substances from some amphibians) and the participants sometimes draw spirals as a way to convey a sense of their journey into another realm of consciousness. Spirals are used to convey the sense of a journey, sometimes a real one. I have seen an very old buffalo hide painted with a central spiral and then a story told all around it. Sometimes the spiral is absent, but he story is still painted with images going in a linear flow around the hide or rock face. I think if you look on the internet, you will find some early Christian use of spirals as symbols as well. That probably does not help, but might provide a sense of connection to very early peoples who used the spiral for a variety of reasons, known only to us today through oral traditions of existing cultures. In The Golden Bough (Oxford Press, tee her hee) , there is quite a bit written about the early symbolism of spirals. I see the docs at 1:30 for test results from the test that replaced the lost test. More later when I get home. Toss up some prayers, please. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 30, 2014 Report Share Posted June 30, 2014 Also the spiral is clearly an archetype. We see them on the tops of babies' heads as their hair spirals; in shells; in the cosmos; water; fractals; DNA and more. Thanks for that, fae. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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