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The 8Th Will Be Six Months Since Arthur Died...


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On the eight it will be six months since Artur died. I am not handling this well. My sleeping schedule has going to hell in a hand basket. I was up till six in the morning today. I can't seem to focus on anything. I feel honestly as though I am going insane. I am back to crying all the time. I feel as though I am sinking into some kind of depression. Is this NORMAL? I am honestly starting to think I need to talk to my Dr about getting medicated if this hasn't improved after the 8th. I know part of it is the whole six month thing and part of it is that Arthur's Birthday is the 23rd. I keep on thinking that he should be turning 37 not dead.

I am including a pictures of Arthur and Sophia from last year....I seem to be spending a lot of time thinking "this time last year we were....", it is like I want to go back in time and live then not now.

post-15607-13492325987265_thumb.jpg

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Dear Lina,

I like the picture. Six months is such a very, very short time. There is NO right way to handle any of our grief. It is whatever we think it is at the time. Things you are experiencing like not sleeping, not focusing, thinking you are going insane, crying ALL the time are all normal grieving. I am so sorry. You are so very young. I understand that we will have these periods of time when everything comes rushing back. Remember, there is no time limit on what we are going through. This is a good place to be. So many people have this great power of listening because they have been where we are. My Jim passed on May 25th - my whole world fell apart - I thought I was prepared - I am not. Please keep posting because there are caring grievers right here who hear you and will respond. Thank you for liking my picture of Jim. I didn't think I needed to keep the one of the two of us up. Anyone who has read my posts know how much I love him. My heart goes out to you. I am hearing you. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and let you know you are loved and not alone and not insane! Anne

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And with that long time that it takes to process our grief, it does help to see your doctor if need be in order to not get run down from lack of sleep or overly depressed. It's a long term problem that sometimes needs some help.

I'm sure with his upcoming birthday and the six month anniversary of his death, it is weighing heavily upon you. Just know that we are here, we've been through this, we understand. (((hugs)))

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Lina - so sorry and I know exactly how you are feeling. You are NOT going insane. I too feel like I'm going backwards but I think I'm just "stuck" in this process. I haven't slept good for 5 months. (Tomorrow will be 5 months for me) :( Acknowledge the things you are doing. Taking care of your daughter and pets, etc. That is huge! I can't even imagine doing this if I had kids. It is so hard.

I love the picture :) Thank you for sharring it.

Missing Him

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Honestly I don't know how people do this without kids. Sophia has been such a huge source of hope, joy and a reason to keep going. I am not sure I would have had the strength to go through this if I did not have her. She is the reason I smile, she makes me laugh when it feels like there is nothing to be happy about...she is my little snuggle buddy and the one who is always happy to see me.

Knowing Sophia needs me keeps me going. It is why I am fighting to survive this and why I know I can't give in to this feeling of drowning in my grief. I have to fight, I have to swim, I have to get sleep, drink water and try to eat healthy food. If I can't take care of me for me yet, at least I have to take care of me for her.

I am doing a little bit better today. Sophia and I had a long snuggle with our chihuahua and kittens. We cuddled, and giggled and petted warm fuzzy tummies.

I am sure tonight a giant wave will come along and sweep me off my feet again...but at least I have that wonderful moment of hope to cling to...those moments feel like a life raft and I just need to keep a grip on it.

*hugs*, love and prayers

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I hope your wave stayed out at sea and you get some good sleep tonight. Peace, Mary

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Lina,

I will be thinking about you tomorrow...the 8th!!

Mary

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Lina, I will be thinking of you tomorrow. All the "firsts" are very hard, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, birthdays, first holidays. Time does help, at least for me. Mike has been gone for 33 months, and while I always miss him, I have, with the passage of time, learned to cope somewhat. Warm thoughts your way tomorrow.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

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Hugs to you today Lina. You are not going insane. At least I hope not because I am right there with you. It has been 4 months for me. I was OK for a week or two and didn't cry much - now it is back and I cried the whole way to work today. It is SOOO hard for the kids but I think it is easier to have them at home than to be by myself right now. I try to keep things "normal" for them and only fall apart once I am alone.Hang in there...you are nt alone.

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Lina,

Thinking of you today. Are you planning to do anything special? I released balloons with messages for George on the first anv. of his death. It made me feel better.

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Hang in there Lina. It has been 1 year since Celene passed. This morning was so tough and having the two boys (dogs) cuddle with me made me feel comfort. My prayers go out to you. Hugs and Prayers.

Anthony

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