Secret Garden - First Days Of Spring

[enna]

My wish for you is that you all have a very peaceful and breathtaking spring - for some a spring long in coming. Those of us on this forum have been dealing with losses that have almost shattered our very beings but we are strong and that will not happen. The support we give so willingly is a testimony to that strength. Anne

Secret Garden - First Days of Spring

[mfh]

Thank you, Anne. Your topic and wish is touching. I just returned to this topic and discovered the Spring video. It was not here when I was here before. It is incredible....peaceful...beautiful...a reminder that life goes on.

Anne, came back to this topic to post this link to our area's Fall Art Tour. The new video (just posted) for the coming fall was made by a good friend's son (the one I had pie with today) (he was Obama's videographer for his first campaign and some on the second...so pretty good at it-we kept hoping he could talk Obama into coming to Spring Green for pie at his mom's tea house so we could all have an up close time there. We failed, of course). Many friends in this video.

More important...it gives you a feel for the area where we live...and the art that surrounds us...Bill and I did this FAT (Fall Art Tour) (www.fallarttour.com) every year for many years...and I still do it but now with tears in my eyes often as almost every studio (except the guest artists each year) is loaded with memories of us there. Lots of walking as many artists live out in the hills and their paths are sometimes rough so Bill could not do it the last couple of years...so I did not do it either.

Mary

[kayc]

Anne, you come up with the most beautiful videos, I love the choreography! But then you know how I love nature.

I took Arlie down in the yard and hooked him up to Skye's chain, figured he can go 50 feet on it and he might like the sunshine and freedom. After taking off running and coming to a screeching halt at the end of the chain (apparently he didn't understand how chains work) and nearly breaking his neck, he settled in to enjoy himself and I went about my chores. I came down in the yard to check on him and he'd dug a huge mud hole and was laying in it, covered with mud, of course. My outdoor faucets are still turned off and I need a man to turn the bolt before I can set them up for use again, so I brought him in the back door and straight to the bathtub. An hour later, the towels are in the laundry, the bathroom is cleaned up and Arlie is drying off, happily chewing on a chew for "being a good boy" in his bath.

[Wifflesnook]

Lovely video Anne. I must try, as I know you are, to enjoy the natural world, which was so easy when Pete was with me.

[enna]

Thank you, Mary for your kind words. I love flowers and I'm glad that you liked the video.

Wisconsin is a beautiful country. I visited there many times. I even took some undergrad classes during the summer at the U of Wisconsin way back in the70s!! So the pie was too rich - I can have lemon meringue pie - perhaps when I visit we'll have a chance to go to the tea house and then walk Bentley and Benji around town. Nice thought.

Your video made me want to visit there again. Anne

[enna]

My dear Kay, thank you for the laugh - I imagined you cleaning Arlie up after his mud dance. Yes, I know how very much you like nature and I am so glad spring is starting to appear for you. It has been a long winter for some. Videos with nature make me grateful for the beauty that surrounds us. I hope you are resting. You are in my heart. Anne

[enna]

Hello, dear Jan. Yes, I know how much you also love nature and when you are ready that love will come back. I know that you have been so busy with those precious grandchildren of yours. Don't they just melt your heart. Have a good day tomorrow and know that I'm thinking of you. I must wait for awhile to see my little ones - I can't travel yet - soon I hope! This is very hard for me since I was planning on a trip to IL during Easter. I will have to accept the marvels of the Internet and continue with Skype and that will have to be all right for now. Anne

[mfh]

Anne, while you were taking classes at UW in the 70s, I was writing my thesis in the library...driving up from Chicago very often because I loved the library there...so we were on the campus probably at the same time at some point. A visit sounds like fun....tea house sounds great also. Peace and take care. I am watching you. Mary

Kay, that is a mighty big dog to wrestle in a tub...good thing he sits still for it. I do not think Bentley would make it in a tub. When Bill and I had our last Golden, Buffy it was impossible to bathe him so Bill and I and Buffy were all in the tub...stripped...one of us holding Buffy as the other washed him....no groomer around I guess....or we didn't know any better. It was fun in any case except for Buffy.

[kayc]

Now that is a picture! When I first got Arlie, he wasn't going for the tub thing, and it was a war, but I finally got him to understand that if he cooperated there would be a very special treat at the end, but he had to be good, beginning to end! When I do it on a regular basis, he even holds off shaking until I towel him down and tell him it's okay to. He gets out of practice though if I go for a few months w/o it.

[mfh]

Yah, I guess it is quite a picture. After getting soaking wet clothes a few times...we did the only sensible thing. I do not bathe Bentley...the groomer does...too much . Mary

[enna]

Today, April 3rd would have been my Jim's birthday. I will bake brownies (extra chocolate) and take them over to the firehouse for the guys who came to the house many times during Jim's last weeks on earth to 'lift and assist' as he spent his last weeks accepting death so gracefully. The guys knew him by name. He was a gentle soul with a sparkle in his Irish eyes. Always a gentle man who loved nature and animals. He would have loved Benji. I'll take Benji with me but they cannot keep him! Later, we'll go to the Estrella Mts. and walk a short walk as I reflect on how very much Jim loved the outdoors. It will be a special day for us. I just can't believe it will be a year since he died on May 25th. I am starting to accept this new life of mine. I know he is not here like I'd like him to be, but he is with me. Anne

[mfh]

And as you walk those hills today, Benji leading the way (Jim at your side and in your heart), behind you will be everyone here...we have your back. Thinking of you today....Peace to your heart on this sacred day, Mary

[Wifflesnook]

Mary said it for me Anne. I am thinking of you as you walk with Jim.

[feralfae]

Dear Anne,

May you find solace and comfort, renewal and hope as you walk in the mountains today. I hold you in my heart this special day.

Much Love,

fae

[kayc]

Oh Anne, you brought tears to my eyes as I thought, "THIS is why I love this lady so much!" Thinking of others even in your loss...and sharing CHOCOLATE with them, no less! That is a huge sacrifice! I would have taken them with me and picnicked on them!

I hope your day is special, your time on the mountain with Benji, and I'm sure Jim is looking down on you with love.

[enna]

Kay, is your computer fixed? I am thinking about you today and hoping that the weather in Oregon is starting to warm up The guys at the firehouse were happy to get the brownies. I am going to bring Benji back and they will get him on a fire truck and we'll take pictures. He is sooo black that I thought I'd put some white spots on him and he can look like a reverse dalmatian. One of the guys remembered Jim. He lost his father about ten years ago and said that his mother is still having issues. He asked how I was doing and that really touched my heart. I had to fight back tears.....

I could not go to the Estrellas because it was already close to noon and the temp was almost 85 degrees. Anyone who knows the mts knows that it would have been too late to walk. I will go another time and when I have someone with me. My strength is not there yet. It is all very different for me. I know I have to live with Jim in my heart but it is hard not to have him with me physically. I don't know if I'll ever get to that place. Sometimes I wish I had not loved so much. It hurts. I think I am at that mourning stage of my grief and I do not like it. I have been feeling quite abit of sensitivity during these days. Benji and I went to our Memorial Park here in PC and I spent awhile thinking about Jim. I left with an ache in my heart wishing that he was here.

It took all the will power i had not to eat those brownies but I can not have anything like that for now!!! You know that I too would have taken them to the mts and probably eaten all of them since Benji can not have chocolate!! I can have fudge or candy just not anything with flour. I'm going to have a cup of hot chocolate now and add a little hersey's (a lot of) chocolate to the cup. Anne

[feralfae]

Dear Anne,

You are doing such a great job of recovery. There is a recipe I have for a flourless chocolate torte, which I can look up if you would like to have it. Eggs, butter, bittersweet chocolate. SImple, simply delicious, and legal for you. Doug's favorite dessert, topped with whipped cream and fresh raspberries.

Anne, I think that we loved so much is how our hearts are made. We do not know how to love less. The risk of course is that we get left behind. But for all the pain, I think the love is worth it.

I could hear the longing in your heart when you talked about sitting in the park and thinking of Jim. The hardest thing for me is not hearing Doug's voice while he hugs me, feeling his voice resonate in his chest while my head is against his heart. Some days, my whole being aches to touch him, to feel his strength and solidness next to my body. I don't know if this ever ends, but I do know that it gets easier. I seldom wake up now and reach for Doug. I don't wake up at night, listening to hear his breathing. Not more than once a month or so, anyway. Our entire being has all these adjustments to make, and ever cell of our bodies knew that other being. I think it is going to take a while to settle in to the changes. I know I am not there yet.

I think you are doing a marvelous and courageous job in your journey. I am impressed with your health recovery and your determination. I know it is not easy to do this alone, but you are doing so very well, and I am cheering for you every day.

Much Love,

fae

[kayc]

Anne, I, too, marvel at your recovery. Chocolate torte sounds wonderful. fae! What is it about flour that it is disallowed, Anne? Am just wondering what it does (besides put on weight an be a carb).

We want to see pictures of Beni on the fire engine, that would be so cute!

[enna]

Thank you, fae, for your encouragement about my health. Your flourless chocolate torte sounds delicious. Please send me the recipe and I will fix it and eat it. And I love any berry and real whipped cream and always extra chocolate – you’d be surprised how you can use chocolate chips! I have been known to put extra chocolate chips in my hot cocoa, on popcorn, dip my fudgesicles in chocolate chips, and even eat them with my apples after dipping the apple slices in caramel. Did I mention that I love chocolate!

Kay, you asked about bread and salt. Bread has always been the worse sodium culprit. It is the number 1 source of sodium in our diets. Breads and rolls have more sodium than chips or pretzels. I love potato chips too and have never been able to eat just one so it is good to know that I can have more than one chip! A small bagel has over 348 MG of sodium, one bread stick has over 500MG. There is both sodium chloride and sodium bicarbonate in breads to give them texture. Gives bread its spring and just makes it taste so good… now, that is probably more than you wanted to know about bread! I used to love bread but it probably helped in my heart failure over the years. There are low sodium breads that I will have to learn about. Right now, I’m thinking of those delicious cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster that have about 400 MG of sodium in each one and who can eat just one!! If you had asked me a few months ago if I had any health problems I’d have to answer no. Today is a different story.

I was quite humbled today because I had my cleaning lady for the first time ever! I felt embarrassed to have to have this help right now. I will accept this as a lesson in humility and be thankful that I have someone who can help me with the heavier housework. She cleaned the shutters, the baseboards, the floors, and did vacuuming throughout the house besides the general cleaning while I took Benji to the circle and took a two-hour nap!!

It is difficult for me to ask for help so this is good for me. I am learning to ASK.

I wish I could be hopeful for recovery – at least I’m learning how to manage and live with heart failure. Anne

[feralfae]

Notes:

I don't think you need to use Callebaut chocolate, but it has the best flavor of the several chocolates I tried. But someone in our office makes it with bittersweet Hershey's chocolate chips. And that tastes very good as well, just a touch less of the nuttiness of Callebaut.

I seldom put in all the sugar, using about a tablespoon with the eggs, and only using a little for dusting. We liked the torte not so sweet. But experiment for your own palate.

Here is fae’s Torte au Chocolat Callebaut

9 oz semisweet Callebaut chocolate, chopped

1 cup unsalted butter, cut into pieces

5 eggs

1/2 cup superfine sugar, plus 1 tbsp and some for sprinkling

1 Tablespoon cocoa powder

2 teaspoon vanilla extract

cocoa powder, for dusting

chocolate shavings, to decorate

Serves 14-16

1. Preheat oven to 325 F. Lightly butter a 9" spring form pan and line the

base with nonstick (parchment) baking paper. Butter the paper and sprinkle with a

little sugar, then tap out the excess sugar from the pan.

2. The cake is baked in a bain-marie, so carefully wrap the base and sides

of the pan with a double thickness of foil to prevent water from leaking

into the cake. Be sure not to pierce the foil while wrapping the spring form pan.

3. Melt the chocolate and butter in a saucepan over low heat until smooth,

stirring frequently with a stainless spoon, then remove from the heat. Beat the eggs and 1/2 cup

of the sugar with an electric mixer for 1 minute.

4. Mix together the cocoa and the remaining 1 Tbsp sugar and beat into the

egg mixture until well blended. Beat in the vanilla extract, then slowly

beat in the melted chocolate until well blended. Pour the mixture into the

prepared pan and tap gently to release any air bubbles.

5. Place the cake pan in a roasting pan and pour in boiling water to come

3/4 inch up the side of the wrapped spring form pan. (I often put the roasting

pan and water in prior to turning on the oven, but I have a big oven and

can carefully reach in or pull the pan out to put the torte in the heated bain-marie.)

Bake 45-50 minutes until the edge

of the cake is set and the center still soft (a skewer inserted 2" from the

edge should come out clean). Lift the pan out of the water and remove the

foil. Place the cake on a wire rack, remove the side of the pan and let the

cake cool completely (the cake will sink a little in the center).

6. Invert the cake onto the wire rack. Remove the base of the pan and the

parchment paper. Dust the cake liberally with cocoa and arrange chocolate

shavings around the edge. Slide the cake onto a serving plate.

I serve this with raspberry sauce, swirled on the serving plates, whipped cream

and fresh raspberries. You might also try a fresh fruit coulis with it, which is marvelous as well.

Enjoy!

*<twinkles>*

[feralfae]

Dear Anne,

Now that the important (chocolate) items are out of the way... note: no salt!

You are doing so remarkably well. I read what you wrote about breads! Yikes! Doug and I made our own gluten-free bread, but now I am going to check the bread mixes for sodium.

I am so glad you have some cleaning help. I felt guilty for a while, that I should be better faster, and it was my own shortcomings that made me unable to get well faster. Now, things are not as dusted, the cleaning team comes when I call them, and I am content. But the heavy stuff I realize my back will not tolerate yet, although it is a lot better. I am delighted that you were able to find someone to come in and do these heavier tasks for you. And better yet, you and Benji had an outing, and you took a nap! How wonderful. You are doing so many good things for yourself, taking care of yourself, and managing it all with enthusiasm and verve. Good for you!

*<twinkjles>*

fae

[kayc]

Anne,

I have been known to clean the house before the cleaning lady came just because I'm embarrassed for anyone to see the condition the house can get in, so I understand how hard this is for you (of course it's been years since I've afforded help). Just remember, she is grateful for the work because it keeps her in business!

I was surprised bread is so high in sodium because when I make bread, it only calls for a tsp. of salt in the entire loaf! I checked my "Dave's Killer Bread" (organic, high in seeds & grains), and it has 170 mg. per slice. Darn!

fae,

The chocolate recipe sounds great, I think I'll print it out and may try it for company or a potluck, but I'm not supposed to have sugar (Diabetic) so I don't want to get too fond of something that's a no no for me. Gosh, aren't these dietary restrictions offputting!

[feralfae]

I am laughing at us! I go around and pick up things, clean the counters, and put things away before the cleaning people come, so they won't think I am a slob! Doug used to laugh at me for cleaning for the cleaners, but I see I am not alone.

fae

[MartyT]

In solidarity with all of you, I too am one who had to face the fact that I could not manage the heavier aspects of house cleaning ~ I too felt incredibly guilty and inadequate when I finally acknowledged my need for a cleaning person ~ and to this day I too make sure to tidy up my home before my cleaning lady comes! I used to tell my kids that we were paying someone to clean our home ~ not to pick up after all of us ~ and I hope they learned that keeping our home tidy was a responsibility that belonged to all of us.

[mfh]

Anne, everyone I know picks up their house before the cleaning lady comes. I do it to make it easier for her but also more efficient. I pretty much pick up after myself as did Bill but still there are things here and there. YOU are not alone in cleaning for the cleaning lady.

Mary