How Can I Help You Or Be Of Service?

[mitchnick]

Hi, my name is Mitch and I'm a software developer. I'm pretty good at what I do and people normally line up to have me develop new technologies for them. However, my life is missing a project to work on which I'm truly passionate about and can make an immense difference in this world.

So, if you could please help me out, and just reply to this post and give me some insights on what is the most frustrating part of planning a funeral. Even if it is just a sentence, would love to hear back from you.

[enna]

Excuse me if I'm taking this wrong but I did not think our forum was set up for advertising businesses. Your post, Mitch, sounded like you intend to use what we have to say in a commercial way. If I am wrong, I apologize. I am a grieving widow and would never post any of my frustrations on this forum to be used for advertising purposes.

Anne

[marsha]

The most frustrating part of planning a funeral service is that your dead spouse isn't here to help you. Especially when it's his....

[MartyT]

Hello, Mitch. I'm not at all sure what to make of the thread you have started here. My first responsibility is to our members, which includes insisting upon adherence to our community Guidelines (articulated here).

When I reviewed your membership application a while ago, I validated it because you indicated that your grandmother had died in May of 2012, and I assumed that her death had something to do with your wanting to join us.

There is nothing inherently wrong with the question you've asked, but I'm not sure why you are asking it or what you intend to do with the responses you receive.

I don't have enough information from you to determine if your posting here is an inappropriate use of our forum. Before I decide to remove your post, can you enlighten me?

[mitchnick]

I'm certainly sorry that this post caused a bit of confusion. I guess in today's world people willing to help out by building something are rather rare to come by and could comes across as advertising.

I do not own a business that addresses this problem, or want to take people's post and advertise off of what they are saying. Rather, I want to use one of my more valuable skill sets (a web programmer) to build something that helps people through the grieving process by making it easier for them to plan a funeral.

As someone who has a little bit different view on the world, it seems weird to me that people are making one of the more important financial purchases of their life, during one of the hardest (if not hardest) part of their life, and there really aren't good tools to help them do it. If you ask a funeral home for a price sheet you would likely be handed 5 pages back of tiny print, with industry jargon you might not understand, while having to comprehend all of this during the worst emotional stress of your life.

If there's a way to help people through this process by building a tool for them to use, I want to be that person who builds it.

[MartyT]

Mitch, it is pretty clear to me what you want to do, and that you are asking our members to help you to do it, but I'm not at all clear on how you think they can help you. Perhaps you need to do some more thinking on this sensitive matter, before you come here to seek our help. Bear in mind that our members are still very much in the midst of loss; their pain is fresh and very real. The are very, very susceptible to being offended, and I'm not even sure they are capable (much less willing and able) to respond to the question you have asked.

We are all here to help and support one another in our grief, and if that is not the primary reason you are here, I'm afraid that can seem quite offensive and hurtful to our members ~ as is indicated by the responses you've already received from two of them. So unless you can persuade us that you have something to offer to our members other than your own curiosity as you formulate a business plan, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave.

[kayc]

I will answer your question rather bluntly...the most frustrating thing for me in planning my husband's funeral was that our pastor just went off on vacation the morning after he died, leaving me alone to deal with it and making me feel my husband's death wasn't very important to him. We were active members in his church and it hurt. I'm sure that's not the answer you were looking for, but there it is.

[nats]

I'm certainly sorry that this post caused a bit of confusion. I guess in today's world people willing to help out by building something are rather rare to come by and could comes across as advertising.

I do not own a business that addresses this problem, or want to take people's post and advertise off of what they are saying. Rather, I want to use one of my more valuable skill sets (a web programmer) to build something that helps people through the grieving process by making it easier for them to plan a funeral.

As someone who has a little bit different view on the world, it seems weird to me that people are making one of the more important financial purchases of their life, during one of the hardest (if not hardest) part of their life, and there really aren't good tools to help them do it. If you ask a funeral home for a price sheet you would likely be handed 5 pages back of tiny print, with industry jargon you might not understand, while having to comprehend all of this during the worst emotional stress of your life.

If there's a way to help people through this process by building a tool for them to use, I want to be that person who builds it.

Mitch,

Really...what indeed is your motive, I myself am a Webmaster/IT Professional, I have thought about your post and request, I'm confused

as to your questions and motives, your "idea" is already indexed 10 pages deep in Google depending on keyword search so I do not think your going to

offer something that's not already being offered. It's good you want to help maybe you should seek your answers in your local Hospice Center or local grief support so you can experience this un-realistic, life changing trauma with your own eyes, and see how we deal with the losses.

Of course I would recommend getting proper approval before doing so.

NATS

[kayc]

The easiest way to plan for the funeral is to PRE-PLAN for it...those services are already available. Of course, it doesn't always work because sometimes businesses go under and people have pre-paid and pre-planned and then when it's needed, the company is gone and your money with it.

Anyone with a bit of programming knowledge can make up an on-line form with choices to guide someone through the maze, but what it can't account for is the emotional aspect of it. When you lose someone you love, to death, you're in shock, on overload, struggling to process and grasp what is going on, unable to focus, eat, sleep, and it makes it difficult to make decisions no matter how they're laid out. There is no compensating for a good support system, i.e. family/friends, and of course, a grief counselor. A good funeral director or pastor can be of immense help in the process, but it's difficult at best. I don't know what you were hoping for from us, but if you have specific questions, that might be a start.