Deedle Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 I can only write a brief amount because the more I think of this, the more sick I feel. My girl Tessa (a blue bicolor Ragdoll cat- see my profile pic, that's her) died unexpectantly on Thanksgiving Day. She had just turned 10 years old the prior October 5th. We (she and I were inseparable-like twins, LOL!) had laid down for a nap on our bed (she had 1/2 of the King and I had the other 1/2)- I heard this awful gasp and I tore out of the side of my bed, and Tessa had arched her back and body out of her "doughnut" shaped bed onto the mattress. BY the time I made it around the bed, she was dead. I tried to do animal CPR but to no avail- I could tell she was gone. {I'll leave the story here) ... my stomach is knotting up and becoming nauseous when I stay on my story. Needless to say I'm like most of you too, missing her, wanting to join her (not suicidal, nope not me), trying to decrease my anxiety by avoiding some things (which I know I've got to stop doing), and probably talking way too much about her. Because I know most do not understand the depth of the love I have for my girl, Tessa. I wonder if I will ever love again like that...... I do hope so. I look as if I've aged 10 years in less than a month. It is taking a big toll on me and probably on my "skin" family- husband and son (Tessa was my "fur" family) My Tessa- Sweetest girl in the World Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Persie Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Deedle, This is so sad. I'm so sorry you have gone through this. I know I'm still crying over my dog Rosie. We got her when she was 11 wks old and she died this past April 26 at the age of 15 yrs. I still shed tears every day for her, and it's been 7 months. I understand completely what you are going through. People who have never loved a pet as a family member just don't understand. I guess we just have to keep thinking that we were blessed to have a fur baby that we loved and loved us so unconditionally. Yes, I am wanting to get another dog but I think I'll wait until summer. Your Tessa was so pretty too. I have Rosie's ashes in a pretty cherry wood box, and I have her paw print in plaster and then framed. It's all in our china cabinet. I know this is tearing you up inside, as it will take awhile. I will never stop missing Rosie, I'm sure you'll always miss Tessa, but we have to accept what has happened and maybe someday it will be easier. I think another pet would be nice for you, but only when you are ready. My Rosie also died suddenly. She got up out of her bed in the morning, we were all up, and suddenly her head jerked to the right, she started laying on the floor going in circle and crying. She was having a stroke. We took her to our vet and she was worse, suffering so much. We had to make the decision to have her put to sleep, it was the worse day of my life. When I think about that day I get sick on the stomach and can't stand the pain. I also try not to think about that day too often. I hope you will find comfort in knowing there are many of us going through this same agony. Keeping busy helps some, but I guess it will take time for the hurt to lessen. Take care of yourself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted December 22, 2015 Report Share Posted December 22, 2015 Deedle, my dear, your Tessa is one of the most beautiful kitties I've ever seen, and I can only imagine the pain you are feeling at the sudden, unexpected loss of her. I am so sorry for your loss Thank you for sharing her picture with all of us . . . ♥ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 Deedle, she is beautiful and I truly understand your closeness, I am a huge animal lover. We are so blessed to have them in our lives. I am sorry you lost her and esp. that it was unexpected. I am sure you will love another, but never quite like her, she, and thus your relationship, are unique. But being someone who has love to give, I'm sure when the time is right, you will find someone in need of your love. I am just so sorry for your loss. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marj37 Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 Hi Deedle----glad you started your thread. The people here have been amazing the weeks after I lost my Gb guy. Supportive as can be. And there is no wrong thing to write. Whatever you feel. In the long run it helps to tell about our loved one who has gone. Feelings are what they are. Neither right nor wrong. For the others of you - Deedle has been an online friend for years. And I've "watched" her with her Tessa and the other kitty guy who shares their household. Beautiful full face pic of Tessa. Just love it. And like Persie, I miss my Gb every day ---- I know his spirit guided me to these two teenage kittens which fill the house with the thunder of 8 feet. And keep Hamish interested in what is going on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollowheart Posted December 23, 2015 Report Share Posted December 23, 2015 Look at that face! Oh, I'm so sorry. Our furbabies bring us so much joy. I used to be the one giving pet grieving cards to people that lost their pets, no one else got that kind of pain. I'm so sorry. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deedle Posted December 24, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2015 You all are most kind. I do feel that you are all so genuine in your writings. I went to my monthly appointment ( I've gone for years with the same people) for manicure and pedicure and for a much needed facial (I've aged considerably in my face these 3 short weeks since Tessa died). I had to tell both ladies of Tessa's passing. I just could not control my crying. At least I could control my "guttural" noises. One of the ladies we bonded over cats- she has lost one of hers (she had 4) so I felt she understood. The other lady sounded as if she were going to cry when I told her. Both gave me big hugs. It's so difficult to go out in public because sometimes I catch a thought that reminds me of Tessa and the tears just flow. Coming home with my husband I read something to him from an online friend about her dog and again busted out crying. All he can do is rub my leg and say I"m sorry and all I say is they (the tears) will stop soon. Today I just miss everything about her ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marj37 Posted December 25, 2015 Report Share Posted December 25, 2015 Hi Deedle....... That is a beautiful quote. Thanks for sharing it The tears will definitely come at times - hour after hour , day after day , or sometimes a longer space of time. But they will. It is definitely a given in our world of loving. Your husband is kind indeed. Hope Bootie is ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 26, 2015 Report Share Posted December 26, 2015 I did locate this poem and it says it's written by Wendy Bradley. Very beautiful sentiment, I'm going to share it in the Tools (quotes) section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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