shell

Maylissa, I just went to www.webmd.com and they have some great info on dementia. There seems to be tests they can perform while someone is alive to determine if they have some form of dementia and what kind (there's a list to the right of the info, click on tests). You might want to check it out and maybe you can get something done now. Good luck, Shell

I am so very sorry for your loss, stik40. And don't worry about your "crazy" thoughts...we've all had them and we're not crazy! It's normal. All I can tell you is that my mom saw my dad walk through the house a couple of months after he died. And one of her best friends saw her husband, who came and sat down next to her on the couch, after he had died. I personally believe this can happen. Yet I haven't seen my dad, so I guess they only visit certain people or something, even though we were close too and I would love to see him. I wouldn't worry about her being mad at you. I'm sure she loved you very much and doesn't blame you for anything. Hang in there and let go of any guilt you have, Shell

Maylissa, It just seems that one thing piles on top of another and another, doesn't it? I hate to say this, but family can sometimes be your worst enemy. Maybe talking to a lawyer would help. There may be some loophole. Keep me posted, Shell

Eaglesoaring, I am so glad you have fur babies, and you too Maureen. They get you through when nothing else does, that's for sure. I have eleven kitties (all strays) that are all inside. I also have three more strays outside that I feed and am hoping to get inside someday. When I feel like life is not worth it anymore, they are the only thing that keeps me going. I could NEVER leave them. When I start feeling so alone I think I'm going nutty, all I have to do is think of them and I don't feel alone anymore. Thank God for animals! They are more help than humans most of the time. I think of them as little angels. Take care and give your babies a kiss from me! Shell

Maylissa, Maybe you should print out your "newspaper letter" and send it to everyone! Might make you feel better...I know it would for me to do something like that. Good luck with your autopsy request. Let us know what's happening, Shell

Maylissa gave you some great feedback. I am so relieved to hear that other people are feeling SO alone and lost, like I am. I have been through a deep "soul searching journey" (I don't know what else to call it) for the last year. It has been hard and painful and tiring, but healing at the same time. And yes, I still cry and cry and cry. I'm not sure that will ever end! These boards have helped me more than any of my "friends" (of which I have VERY few left. So keep posting and reading other posts. You aren't as alone as you think. Shell

Oh, Maylissa, it seems it never ends, huh? I would say that your instinct to run fast and far is right on. My mom has a "crazy" sister too, who makes up all kinds of stories. She caused my mom so much grief that my mother finally said "bye" many years ago, and that is not like my mom at all. It was very hard on her, but the best thing she ever did. Some people are just poison and you can't afford to deal with them. It will ruin your own life. As far as your worries about your own mental health, I know how you feel. There are days I feel I'm losing it too. Maybe you could discuss your family history with your doctor. He/she may be able to alleviate your fears. Just hang in there. Take care of yourself, even if it means isolating yourself from all your relatives. You are the important one right now. Take a deep breath and take it one day at a time, Shell

Dear Marty T, Thank you so much for your reply. I truly apprciate your input. I guess I should have given more facts, I just wanted to keep it short. I live with my mother and was living here when my dad died. When he died my mom became very confused and couldn't do the normal things (writing checks, doing laundry, etc.) that she did before. I understood completely and had to take over everything to see that it got done. As I said before, I'm not complaining about any of this at all. I love my mom, she's the most important person in my life and I would do anything for her. I am still doing everything (my dad died in February) and she is still confused somewhat. I just couldn't understand her change in attitude toward me because we have always been very close. I have listened and talked with her about her feelings, and she won't go to anyone for support. But I think some of the things you have told me have given me new insight and will help. I just feel very lost, but I will try to cope with it. I think this site will help me too. Again, thank you so much for replying.

Thanks, Maylissa. It helps so much to know "you're not the only one" who has these thoughts! And I feel like you, that it hasn't seemed to stop. A friend just found out she has breast cancer and my neighbor has just been diagnosed with throat cancer. While I'm not as close to these people as the rest of the deaths that have happened, it still feels like the black cloud thing. That's what I kept saying too! I keep trying to just take one day at a time (maybe more like one minute at a time!) and it seems to help a little. Thanks so much for the feedback and hang in there!

I just wanted to say that it has helped me so much to read how many others have had multiple deaths in a short time. That's what happened to us (5 in two and a half months: my dad, uncle, moms cousin, one of our fur babies, a good friend). They were almost all unexpected too. I hate to say this, but I thought we were just unusual (I had never heard anyone else talk about losing that many people in such a short time). Now I realize it happens a lot and hearing how you all are trying to cope is helping me not feel so alone. I also felt that I was some kind of bad luck charm, like death was following me around or something! Totally crazy, I know, but you all know the crazy thoughts that grief brings!

I was wondering of anyone has had the problem I'm having. My mom and I have always been extremely close, but since my dads death, she seems to be very impatient with me. I am taking care of everything (I'm not complaining, just a fact) and she seems to criticize everything I do. I just feel this huge wall between us and can't, for the life of me, understand whats going on. It is so painful I can't even begin to describe it. I'm still mourning my father and trying to deal with this too. Is this a normal reaction? My mom is 85. Does her age have anything to do with it? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I just don't know what to do!