Marj37

That is so perfect, Mary!!!!

The gift is gone - how can we not be sad. My guys entwined themselves into my heart and my daily life. Everywhere I turn I remember Gb there or doing his funny things or his amazing way he walked; those beautiful loving green eyes, his beautiful looking body and his fur so soft that I loved to touch. His little head that always raised up when I petted him or kissed him. He loved belly rubs and brushing. Every morning he'd wait for me after breakfast to go up and brushmy teeth; he'd sit on the toilet seat waiting for me to do his asthma inhaler and have his treat which was "fishie time". Same thing at night. At noon after lunch he'd sit and wait for me to apply his thyroid transdermal med on his ear. So cooperative about these things. We are so gifted with their precious life. I remember last winter one night Gb was snuggled on my lap and I was crying because i knew there would be a future when either of them would have to leave. Never dreaming it would be so soon. I watched the beautiful clip that Marty posted last night --- with many tears. All he says is true. I am still sad as I miss Gb so terribly. And still difficult to believe it really happened . Almost 15 years is many moments of joy and caring for them; putting their health as a primary concern. Taking them outside a little bit on nice days so they had a diversion from the house. Having interesting toys and things to do in the house. And the way Gb slept right next to my head on the pillow. And was good most every night. And if he got restless I'd tell him to snuggle down - and he did. Except on cold dreay days they were mostly awake in the day and spent the night on my bed. I remember when I had to go from a twin to a regular size since they didn't leave me much room on the twin. Gb my beloved soul kitty.........Hamish misses you too. Stay near us.

That sure is so true Mary---- I had a time today when Gb's little face those 48 hours ran thru my mind. So hard, difficult, full of grief & anguish at times. I had Gb's urn by my bed but i can't look at it anymore so I placed it in a pretty basket along with his fur . i happened to find the basket just the right size in my hoard of baskets that I enjoy. Shalom!

Thank you so much --- I came across your post on this webinar while wandering this website.........I love how she talks about the loss of companion animals. I say "Amen!" to everything she has to say! Every single thing she says I could be saying; I am feeling.

Hello--- today, the 26th, is one calendar month since I lost my Gb. I'm missing him so much. And Hamish looks for his brother. , GEtting up in the morning is so hard as Gb was the lively, "let's get the day going" kitty. Tears every morning. hamish is different and he likes snuggles before I get up so we do. Several people I've read suggest honoring our grief. That is hard for me yet in the midst of the pain to hold that . It is in staying behind on earth feeling alone without the animals we love so dearly that is the harder role. The anguish of it comes unbidden, when least expected, seemingly unending, inescapable, dark hours of pain. ---Teresa Wagner And my heart goes out to Mary since her Allie doggie left our world on April 26.

Thanks so very much.

Here I am again.......a few hours later. I was looking at some precious Gb pictures ---- here he is about 8 weeks ago helping me to make my bed. We always had playtime --- I'd run my fingers under the sheet and he'd try to grab them - sometimes he'd hide under the sheet.

Love his nickname. I believe we can expect nothing less than "extreme exit" from our bonded furkids.

Hello Last night was 1 month since I let Gb go on. I am sad beyond belief. And I keep rerunning those 48 hours in the ER . And was i selfish to have the euthanasia done right away when I saw how awful the xray was and the prognosis was not good. I wish he could be back. I know he can't. And I keep wondering if I will see him again. Do you think we will????????

Hi KayC---I am so grateful for those who have the gift to listen to our hearts. Thank you. I wouldn't want to trade my time with these kitty boys, even tho I miss Gb terribly. I have a heart-full of thanks for their lives with me. I hope Hamish is being soothed as he sleeps where Gb slept.

I thnk you for your caring listening, Marty

Hi Mary Such beautiful Allie memories. Your pal all around the house. Love it. Just like my Gb kitty was. And I loved that. I have to laugh at your telling of Allie chewing up a doggy diaper. Oh my!. Those are such neat stories to tell us. Sharing stories is good. It definitely is a rough path we travel now. Sending hugs and pawpats from Hamish kitty.

This is so dificult to say out from the inside of me. But I'm all right for periods of time and then it hits me smack in my heart----- that this is forever ---- he's not going to be my Gb to love and pet and watch his antics. And I cry. Oh !!!! ---the emptiness........my Hamish kitty is so beautiful and loving and looks for his brother still and that breaks my heart. He is eating ok now, thankfully.

What a fantastic story of her adoption. We just know, dog lovers & cat lovers, when a companion is going to fit right in our heart AND home---- I feel joy is gone as well--------I'm counting on it returning as memories of those awful days recede and the joyful ones can be in the forefront.

Oh Marty --- you've given up on Michigan winters!!! Yes, sending another love note thataway!

Thanks, Mary. It is in knowing that members understand that keeps me posting in this group. No one pushes any rules or quotes any cliches.......it comes from their (and your) heart of living in this State of Grief with a capital G.

Hi-----make sure to take one moment at a time. And honor your grief as coming from a love you hold deeply. We all understand. We are there or have been there.

Thank you for this.........beautiful even tho tear-full!

Beautiful. I love the Irish blessings also.

Love to you up there in northern Michigan from down here in SE Michigan, Marty! Thanks so much for "hearing" me. This afternoon Hamish knocked some things off my dresser just like Gb used to do and it gave me a huge laugh. He looked so proud Many hugs, Marj

I need to post these thoughts........they keep popping into my mind and I hope to soften them since I miss my precious Gb so very much. I'm a single older woman and we 3 (Gb, his brother Hamish & I ) were a close family unit for almost 15 years. I have never been this sad in all my 78 years. I know and understand that writing our trauma feelings over and over can be healing. I am putting them our here. I need to do this. I've written it in my journal. And I've cried from the mind pictures. I can't get out of my head that I didn't sit in the back with Gb in his carrier when we drove all that way to the ER that night. I really feel sick. Like I let him down. Then they rushed him away from me when we entered the door because his breathing sounds were awful. I was glad they were so expedient to help him but I feel wrenched. They let me see him in his oxygen cage before we left and I'd seen the awful xray. And the next night they only let me pet him thru the little hole in the glass ---could I have made a fuss about wanting to put my hole arm in? I wanted to hold him so bad. But I didni't want to upset him. That night he meowed at me and was at the back of the cage. And I'm so sorry he had to spend time in that cage for 48 hours. And the next night is when they took me in a room and the doc came in and said he couldn't breathe outside the oxygen cage and his quality of life was 0. And I agreed to the euthanasia. And she brought him in wrapped in a towel and i wish i could have held him again. but I knew the iv for the med was connected to him. I did get to pet him, to kiss him and tell him my love. OMG --- I see this scene again and again. That whole event of those 48 hours intersperses with the wonderful memories I have of him of all these almost 15 years. I pray that Gb forgives me. I loved him so. I know he loved me. All those snuggles and jowl rubs and kneading and kitty kisses. I know I have to halt this rerun. I try and replace it with beautiful memories, but it is so strong still. It's only been 3 weeks and 3days and it seems like yesterday. Every day I set mini-goals and do them. I go to my Yoga. Do some yard puttering. I cuddle and nuzzle brother Hamish. He still looks for Gb. I bought some Loss Remedy from SpiritEssences and I hope that helps him. I put a bit on me too. I write in my journal and I write in my Love journal to Gb.

Thanks, Marty.

Hi.......I am so sorry for you loss. Chester was a gorgeous doggie! Thanks for sharing his picture. I'm sure you feel broken all over. This is such a good place to talk our our hear broken-ness , our sad-ness, our lonely-ness. A trauma to have them gone so quickly. I lost my Gb kitty a little over 3 weeks ago and sharing with people who totally , without reservation, understand is a tiny balm.

Now I did see your Allie pic. What a beauty.

Hi - I created this graphic today with my PaintShopPro program using the artwork of ©AndyWestface graphic designer as a basis. Thanks for looking.