Gin

Kay,. Thinking about you this week. I know you have George's birthday, Father's Day and more. Plus you are not feeling well. Hope you feel better.

Thinking of you today. These days are hard!

Tom, Cookie, I am also reading the same book. I think he understands what a special relationship we had with our soulmates.

Marg, Sounds good to me. Al is mine!

Marg, Al and I were both married before. And widowed. He always told me that I was his soulmate and he never loved anyone as much as he loved me. However, what if his first wife wants him as much as I do? How is God going to decide? Crazy? Absolutely, but that's what I am thinking.

Thinking of you today on this hard day, Marie.

Cookie, same here. It will be 3 years in October. Nothing interests me. Hard to get thru the day. My friends have just about given up on me. I wanted to get a dog, but wonder if I can even take care of one. Thinking of you especially tomorrow. Gin

Mitch,. Thinking about you today. These days are sure hard ! Tammy sure was too young.

Gwen, i have the tendency to look at the cards Al made for me. He was so good at things like that. Always had a special picture and beautiful poem that he wrote. I read the last one he did for me and end up crying. I have not gotten to the point yet (doubt that I ever will) of finding joy instead of sorrow. I just miss him so much and it is so painful to know that I will not have those good times anymore. And the loneliness is sure a killer. Have not found any answer to that either. Gin

Gwen, my Al would have loved your joke. He had hundreds of goofy jokes....groaners

My friend and I went out for lunch today with the minister who married Al and me. I saw her about a year or so ago and she knew I was having a really hard time. She greeted me with, " So, how are you enjoying the single life?" I replied, "How do you think?" Her reply.-. "I guess not that great". I told her she was correct. I had a hard time engaging with her after that. She knew Al for around 10 years. We worked with the homeless, were greeters, etc.. Were in church every week. She has since gone on to minister at a different church. I was really offended...THE SINGLE LIFE!! ENJOY?? She did not ask how I was doing.

Mitch, Al was the only one for me. He had so many medical issues, but together we faced them and stayed optimistic. That optimistic spirit has escaped me. I hope some of it will return. Hard to keep going like this. gin

Even though we "accept" the fact that we will always be alone, it is so hard to put the pieces of our messed up life together in some reasonable fashion. We want to be valuable in some way. The older we get, the harder it is to even volunteer, when our bodies do not cooperate. Too much alone time equals more loneliness. Yes Mitch, and the beat goes on and on and on.

Gwen, this whole grief thing is so hard. I have gone the whole day without any meaningful interaction with any people. I went to the health club, but there was no one I knew to talk with. A few "hi"s. Me and my tv. Watching re-runs. Everything seems so meaningless. Do not know how to break out of this, if there even is a way.

Darrel, Tom and Bill, this journey is so hard. Hard to imagine anything good coming from it. I planted a few pots on my patio today. It sure lost the meaning it used to have when Al was so excited about growing things. Things that were happy are now so very sad.

Wishing you well today. Al has been gone over 2 years and the memories still do not bring comfort.

Mitch, your story sounds so familiar. Al nd I adored each other. We were both widowed and met on the Internet. I ran across emails from the first few weeks and months of our romance. I just sat there and cried. Never in my widest dreams could I ever have imagined the love we shared for the next 16 years. We were in our 60s. It is so hard to experience life without him.

Anyone else who goes for days at a time without seeing another human? I call people, but do not see them. I hate it.

A friend called me and let me know that it is my fault that I feel so lonely. It is up to me to make new friends. I had quite a few friends before, but Al and I were kept busy with all his operations and rehab for a good many years. It is not easy at my age (78) to find new friends and join new groups. My medical issues are now keeping me from being too active. She thinks I should be "over it" by now. She was widowed maybe 25 years ago, but has a boyfriend and sees him every day. I do not think she misses her husband like we all miss our spouses(my opinion). I have to ignore what she says. This journey we are all on is so very difficult.

Illness coupled with grief is the pits. No breaks.

It sure is very hard. Not much you can do to get thru it easier. I lost Al going on 3 years and it is very hard still. In fact, the 4th of every month brings pain. Thinking of you tomorrow.

Gwen,. You are important to us. We care.

Mitch,. I know how hard these "used to be special" days are. Best wishes.

Sure wish we all lived close to one another.

I really tried to fit in at different places. Joined a bookclub, but most of the people there knew each other. Was there over a year and still do not fit in. Go to the health club that Al and I used to attend. Say hello to people, but that is hardly the same. Most of my neighbors have either moved or died. The world can be a mighty lonely place. We used to go to church, but our church closed. So hard to try to go alone to another one.