Widow2015

My son has a friend who lives outside of Maui and works for the power company. He has texted my son on Tuesday he is safe but is still threatened by wildfires, all emergency services have been tapped and Natl Guard and military called out to help. So sad. Karen: You are one tough lady! This procedure sounds awful from start to finish. Thinking of you. Dee

kayc: I can't imagine the fear as you wait for update. So, if you have to evacuate would you and Kodie go to your daughter's or your son's? Keeping you in my prayers. I'm doing fine. This past week I have been dog sitting for my son while they have been on a week-long vacation to Yellowstone. My Grand dog is a chocolate lab, about 5 years old. She has more energy and is a constant wiggle machine. I am able to let her stay outside most of the day, but she stays inside with me during the night. She has been easy, but my little home is not very roomy so am constantly reminding her to "lay down". I am looking forward to their return tomorrow and hoping to be able to get the doggie smell out of my house and back to just taking care of me. LOL. I know she misses the activity of her family. Am thankful the weather has been comfortable, high 70's low 80's, and no rain. Dee

Congrats on the new car, Kevin. My son is wanting to buy something to drive to work that is more comfortable getting in and out of. Right now, he is driving a little diesel Chevy Volt when diesel was more economical. He's 50 years old and says it's not so comfortable anymore. Hope the decision concerning great granddaughter works for all. Dee

kayc: I think I have Windows 10 on my laptop that I purchased 2 years ago. I couldn't say for sure to tell you the truth. I just stay in my own lane the best I can and try not to hit the wrong key on the keyboard when I am asked to update. You surely have the smarts and the knowledge to speak computer language. I don't think I could learn at my stage of life. I too remember the Ditto machines and that wonderful aroma from the fluid that created a copy from the original attached to the big drum. Funny how our "olfactory memory" works. LOL I totally agree we "mature" people don't want complications to deal with but seems like it is always there. Dee

kayc: You are amazing. There are days I wish I had never heard of a computer. I was born in 1941 and was in my 50's when I was introduced to computers. I was eager to learn and was only allowed to turn it off and on. The IT Dept. did all the nitty gritty stuff required for updates, etc. Now, every aspect of my life seems connected to computers and am driven insane when an email informs me the system has been updated and I have to try to learn something new. 😵‍💫 Hoping you don't have to evacuate. Dee

weaksoul: Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Dee

weaksoul: Like you, coming back to this forum has become a routine. I remind myself even though I don't have my dear husband with me anymore, I did have almost 51 years with him. Daily I am reminded how much he loved me with so many happy memories. On some days I get down missing him but am reminded I once had a good life. Oh, my goodness Marg, you made me smile with your positive food choice. Pimento cheese sandwiches on white bread was my mother's favorite so I grew up eating pimento cheese sandwiches. Might have buy one of those little round jars of pimento, some cheddar cheese and get out the cheese grater. Is the pimento a problem for you because of the acidity? Kay: Good to see your walk is improving. Some days even the smallest positive is what it takes to get us moving forward. Dee

Karen: So sorry your dentist appointment was so awful. It sounded like torture. Dental work is definitely my least favorite medical appointment. Too bad it this procedure isn't considered major surgery and you'd be put totally under. Dee 😴

Yes, Karen I think about Gwen all the time. It's hard not to think the worst remembering what she had to deal with medically. Also, was wondering how your dental appointment went? It was Monday, wasn't it? Dee

kay: Oh my, your situation sounds awful. Keeping my fingers crossed for you to find a solution soon! Sorry about your ankle. What happened to cause the injury? Maybe you commented and my memory failed me again. Dee

weaksoul: Keep on going, one step at a time. You may feel as though you can't go on, but you will because of your dear children. Keeping you in my thoughts. Dee

Kay: Perfect! 😊

weaksoul: Good to read you have plans to see a grief counselor. That first step is the hardest step to take. Hoping you will find some help to help you along your grief path. Good thoughts coming your way. Dee

Kay: I haven't been near my car for a few days. My son sprayed them on Sunday so am hoping the "spray attack" worked. Good to hear your yellowjackets have quieted down. We have been experiencing 80-degree weather here lately too. I spend most of my time inside since bright sunshine plays such havoc with my eyes, plus anything hotter than 75 degrees is too hot for me. My little front porch is shady for such a short time. I miss the big fir trees that I used to complain about that shaded my house in town but left such a mess after a storm. LOL 😎 Dee

Marge: I understand Billy's Birthdate will create extra pain in your heart. These special days that used to be such special occasions are now such hurtful reminders. Your plate, as usual, is still full of family worries and concerns. I am so sorry Kelli has to go through more treatments, your granddaughter is still struggling with her fears and your sister's ER visits. At lease she knows to call 911 first. Take care. Dee

Gin: Good to hear from you - it's been a while and good to hear you weren't affected by tornado. Hoping all is well with you. Dee

Weaksoul: I understand your fear of thinking about what you will be doing in the future with your loneliness and pain. That's where I try my hardest to only think about how I will get through "this day". The day I am in today is all I can manage. I have accepted the fact that this pain will always be with me, but I try my best to learn to live with it. It will take time. As mentioned previously you are still in the early stages of your grief. Be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself. Dee

A couple of weeks ago I got into my car to drive down to pick up my groceries I opened up the window on passenger side then quickly closed the window because I saw a yellowjacket buzzing around. I drove on and totally forgot about it. When I returned home, I parked car and proceeded to get out of the car noticing a yellowjacket as he squeezed between the left mirror and the plastic cap. I texted my son about the issue as he is the one with the "stuff" to irradicate these creatures. My curiosity forced me to "google" the best way to approach this issue and was surprised how often this happens. Got into my car again yesterday and yellow jackets are still there. Well, my son evidently forgot cause the beasties are still there or he forgot on purpose because his epi pens are outdated. Dee

Weaksoul: From what you have shared about your kids you are on the right track to being the parent who will always be there for them. There will always be days when we want to give up. On those days I allow myself to be down and depressed then "shake" it off and get myself back on track and get through another day and do what I need to do. My son, daughter and grandchildren don't need another loss to face. I also agree it is important to have someone to share those feelings of loss with. Dee

I wish I could give you the definite answer you are searching for on the length of time you will be finished with the pain you are suffering right now. Like Kay said, we are all different in so many ways. The only thing that we have in common is we all have lost that special person that made our lives happy. You asked, "How much better do you get and do you get back to living life normally". I know I am not the same person I was when I had my husband, and my life is not the same. It is a different life. Even eight years since his death I still feel that excruciating pain in my heart every day. I tell myself that I can't give up because he would want me to be strong. A couple of months after my husband died, I gathered up courage to attend a Grief Share Group at a local church. It was difficult for me to attend since I have never considered myself a very religious person. The grief group offered me the opportunity to share my grief in a small group with a different view on why God would take my husband. If you have time in your schedule, maybe Marti's suggestion to attend a Grief Support Group might help? Take care. Dee

Kay: Oh my Goodness! I have to admit, I think you are having enough bad luck for awhile! Hopefully it will be over soon and good luck will happen for a change. Sorry about your DIL situation. I would have to bite my tongue in half to not want to respond to her remarks. I understand your not saying anything tho. I am sure it would cause grief on your son. Dee

Weaksoul: I am so sad to read of your loss of your dear wife. Your words describing your family shows how much you loved your young family. In my opinion, I think four months is still quite early to feel you should be over such a devastating loss. Your sixteen years of marriage was so brief. The pain is still there no matter how long or how short the relationship was. There were days I found just getting through one hour was all I could manage and as time progressed, I learned no matter how I got through the day I still miss him as if it was yesterday. I hope you will continue to share your story and talk about your wife here. I think you are brave to have taken this big step. I will never forget one of the members who had lost his wife. His memorable saying was, "One Foot in Front of the Other". That little saying always helped me. Dee

I can understand wanting to stop the pain. I only take two for my knees and hip pain and there are days I would like to take more but find relieve in my comfy recliner. It just doesn't make for an exciting life. Like I said before, I couldn't keep up with you and Kay. Dee

OMG kay, this would drive me berserk to know an animal is having to live in such conditions. Wonder why she doesn't have a decent kennel if she has to be away from the house so long. She probably knows you will be available to take care of her. Thank goodness you live close so you can watch over Jazzy. Good Luck taking care of Grandkids. It's fun to be around them but nice to come home I'm sure. Take care and rest up when you can. Dee

Marg: Interesting you were told you could take 11 Tylenol a day before the liver could be ruined. That does sound like an excessive amount. I guess doctors are like other professionals, it all depends on the school they went to. Your Billy was your "angel" for taking such good care of you through your illness. This makes me think about poor Gwen and how she had to struggle with her pain medications and her anxiety medication. Sad, she had to deal with different doctors and different rules on pain medication prescriptions. I think about her every day. Dee