Widow2015

Gwen/Karen: I have to agree with Karen concerning your eye concern. Not knowing how close it is to your eye - could it be aggravated by your glasses? Agree about "royals". Enough already! Of course, I feel the same about our political leaders here in the USA. LOL. Dee

Karen: Gentle😢 hug for you. Dee

Kay: That's what is important, your memories of Bert. Sorry this brief display had to ruin the mood for you. Dee

Gwen: I agree with Karen and Kay's feelings about there has to be someone else who can make your life more bearable. I wonder if the police who have been called to intervene could suggest a source. Years ago, I had a friend who needed assistance with caring for her husband, he had Alzheimer's. My friend used Lutheran Services and found a wonderful caretaker who eventually became her friend after her husband had to be moved to a Memory Care facility. Another service I have heard about here in Tacoma is Catholic Community Services. I know you have talked with homecare providers without much luck, but this can't be good for your well-being. Just worry about you so much. Take care. Dee

Marg so sorry you fell. Glad you were able to get up without major injuries and thank goodness for "fluffy parts". Dee

Marg: Cataract surgery for me was a breeze and allowed me to continue driving although I still hesitate to drive too far. There was no discomfort at all during or after surgery. On the upside I find I don't have to wear my glasses so much except for distance and when I drive. Like Karen said it made the world a brighter place. My having ongoing eye injections for Macular Degeneration since 2016 probably lessened my fear of anything to do with a doctor poking around in my eyes replacing lenses. Probably the worst part after the surgery was remembering to put the drops in. Good luck. Dee

Wonderful news, Karen! Sorry the double vision is not any better though. I totally understand your frustration not being able to drive due to vision problems. Not feeling comfortable driving changes one's life considerably. It's good your son is there with you. Dee

Karen and all: Am still "above ground". I do read on the Forum how you all are handling your life; I just don't have much to say about my boring life. My heart aches for you all who are struggling with physical pain and grief pain. I realize how fortunate I am to seemingly have good health with the exception of my achy knees, less than normal eyesight, and increasing forgetfulness. All my blessings don't seem to take away the loneliness, though. My "joy" is of course having my son and his family maybe 100 steps from my front door and occasional sightings of deer in the yard or elk in the neighbor's yard. Keeping you all in my thoughts and hoping Joyce's surgery happens soon and is successful. Also hoping Gwen's pain patch is successful in easing her pain and Karen's CT scan gives her answers soon. Good thoughts for all, Dee

Marg: As they say in New Orleans, “Laissez les bons temps rouler”! Dee

No, doesn't seem like Christmas I would like to be a part of anymore. I didn't accomplish any decorations this year except a plastic holly wreath that I've had for years. It was the only decoration I could retrieve off the shelf with the long handheld grabber. Did get a swag hung outside my front door the neighbor gave me. I started my reply earlier this morning. I had to stop after receiving a text from my son telling me my grandson would come over and help me walk over for gift exchange and our small family Christmas celebration. I had to say "No, not yet" had not had coffee yet much less brushed my teeth or washed my face. No one told me what time so I assumed it would be later in the day. Finally got over there and spent a nice day in the middle of a lot of activities with all the animals and the commotion and chatter. This old lady is not accustomed to being around such motion. It was a nice day and enjoyed a light meal of soup, rolls, cheeses and snax, and homemade Christmas cookies. It wasn't at all like the Christmases we once had, but it was their Christmas. I was thankful to be a part of it. And especially thankful the weather has warmed up and no ice and snow. Merry Christmas to all of you good folks. Dee

kay: So sorry you're dealing with this. Take care. Dee

Karen: Once Elvis got into the Las Vegas appearances he kind of lost some of his appeal for me. And, maybe I grew up and was into raising a family. I like Country Music as well, as my family listened to Country Music on the radio a lot and the Grand Ole Opry on a black & white TV. When the Beatles came along in the 60's Bob and I were beginning a life together so don't remember thinking about music too much. I agree with you on the Christmas movies. Not a favorite either. Dee

Marg: As a teenager, Elvis was my heart throb. One of my high school friends and I stood in line for hours to get into the Municipal Auditorium in New Orleans to see his show. We were third row center cheering and sobbing as he performed. Another time he was in New Orleans a friend heard Elvis was at Pontchartrain Beach at the Bali Hai Restaurant - we lived fairly close to the Beach, so off we went and were able to sneak around as close as we could just to see him. It's a shame he died like he did. He was so loved by so many. I remember the name Mickey Gilley but don't recall his music. No, unfortunately we can't go back and change anything. I have so many things I wish I could change while we were married. Dee

Gwen: I need to explain it is all relative to what we call "doing cards and decorations". I have so few relatives and friends anymore I guess I feel this is my way I can keep in touch with them. One card was to high school friends, a couple, I grew up with in New Orleans and would stay in their home when Bob and I visited. I just learned he has cancer and will be starting chemo. I learned this a few weeks ago after a phone call thanking me for the birthday card I had mailed him. The fear in his voice was heart breaking. Couldn't find the righy words to say. I'm not a good conversationalist so felt a letter included in my Christmas wishes would be best. I'll call soon and see how the treatments are going. I mailed out a total of three more, just to let people know I'm still alive. My sister-in-law and her partner are always sending me cards for each and every occasion on the calendar included with handwritten notes in each. They don't do email and very little texting. I think they keep the greeting card companies in business. As far as decorations, no tree just some tabletop decorations to set out and hang a plastic wreath that I've had for years. Last year I hung the ornaments on the wreath that were special memories of Bob that I still have and can't let go of yet. Yes, I guess I do find some comfort in the memories now. Yesterday the neighbor knocked on my door and gave me a small swag of evergreens and holly branches. Such a sweet gesture. Will try to tie the branches together and hang it at my front door. I guess I'm doing this to keep from giving up. Like I mentioned, the pain is there whether I partake in Christmas or not. I always think, "What would Bob want me to do?" We are all so different in how we manage our grief. I still can't listen to his voice on videos, especially the one where he is reading to our granddaughter. 😭 I so wish you didn't have so much physical pain and disruption in your life so you could find some peace. Take care. Hugs, Dee

Oh my goodness kay! 😱 how awful. I am so sorry to read of your burn as well as needing to return to your dermatologist. The pain has to be unbearable. I hope there won't be any infections involved. Does this keep you from walking Kodie? Seems like each day only brings another battle. I was joking with my son the other day and told him I go to bed each night thinking, "what is going to go wrong for me tomorrow". Marg, I am beginning to feel like "Joe blipftz" the Li'l Abner cartoon character. I admit my woes haven't been as bad as Kay's burned hand and doctor appointments, or Gwen's never-ending health issues. My problems are small aggravations like being snowed in for 5 days the first week of December, constant changes to my computer such as how we have to battle to pay bills, make appointments, learn how to Zoom, etc. My old brain doesn't have the ability to keep up with the changes or how to correct them. I so hate having to ask my son to help me. Today, my laptop decided not to have any sound. I accessed the "settings", and it indicates it's as loud as it can go. Not a big deal on the scale of problems, just a darn aggravation. The holidays are supposed to be a Happy Time but like V.R. shared how difficult it is to get past the sadness of missing our special loved one. I pushed myself to address a few Christmas Cards this year. The list gets smaller each year. I am dreading pulling out the Christmas Decorations knowing I should pretend I am in a Holiday Mood for my little family. This is the first Christmas since Bob passed that I am able to play the Christmas CD's we used to play in our home for so many years. It was difficult, but since my son finally got my CD player rewired since I moved, I felt I should attempt it. I convinced myself the pain in my heart will be with me forever, Christmas music or not. Dee

Karen: Your Mom was amazing. Can't imagine going to work at age 85 with or without computers involved. I'm 81 and not enough ambition to even think about the routine of an office. You come from good stock. 😁Dee

Marg: Kelli is so talented and creative as her photos indicate. I think I understand her feeling on being asked to sell her skills changes the fun of being creative. This is only my feeling and am only presuming since I don't have a creative bone in my body. The Little Rock Church is awfully pretty and reminiscent of the little country church in North Mississippi where my Mother and Dad grew up, married, and lived prior to moving to South Louisiana in the early 40's. The little church where my Dad's relative are buried looks so similar to The Little Rock Church. The last time I was there was when my Aunt passed in the '90's, she was my last relative on my Dad's side. I'll never return to this place due to my age and distance but will always keep that little town and little church a warm memory in my heart. Thanks for sharing. Hugs, Dee

Marg: Beautiful photography - brings back memories where I grew up in South Louisiana. The Spanish Moss in the trees gives such an interesting feeling. Did your daughter take that picture? Dee

Gwen: Yes, been watching the snow fall here and hoping not to lose power. The lights have flickered a couple of times but so far so good. The tall snow-covered fir trees are beautiful until the limbs fall on the power lines. The temperature is 30 degrees right now and hoping this ends soon. Kevin's weather report doesn't sound like fun, BRRRR! I won't be able to get out for a few days until I feel comfortable to drive in this. I do have family close by fortunately so can wait for my need to get in my car. I so wish you had someone who would be looking out for you, Gwen on a consistent basis. Your friend, Dee, doesn't seem to be able to give you that comfortable support we need like a family member, nor our beloved partner once did. Always hoping something will change for the better for you. Take care, Dee

Marg: You look like you were having a really good time. Love the cute look on that adorable face. Made me smile. Hugs, Dee

Gwen: Happy Belated Birthday! Glad to hear your shower was managed. Always wishing a Good Day for you. Dee

Marg: Laughing Out Loud and saying AMEN 🤣 Dee🤣

Gwen: I agree with Kay's question, "can't someone be sent out to have a look at your ear and eye"? This situation reminds me of my son's bout with a sinus infection behind the eye. Although he was experiencing a great deal of pain. I received a mailer advertisement in the mail recently for in-home care, GetHeal.com. I don't have any knowledge of the service provider, but it might be an answer for you.??? Dee

Marg: Thanks for the memory. I remember that silly little song from my childhood. Made me smile. Last evening as I was coming home from my eye appointment - I hire a medical transport service for these eye appointments since I don't trust my vision after the injection treatments. The driver is the least friendly driver in this small company. She lets you know she doesn't want to chat. Due to a couple of emergencies that day, the appointment took longer than any other appointment since my eye injection treatments began, back in 2016. It was 5:30 PM and very dark out. The car radio was playing Christmas music, my eyes had been dilated and each light reflection turned into a circular ferris wheel shapes against the blackness. As I sat in silence trying to keep eyes closed for the 45-minute drive home it took everything inside me to fight back tears reminding me how alone I felt and how the Christmas music and circles of bright lights were leaning towards torture. The aloneness even when around others still hurts so deeply. It felt good to get home and no Christmas music to hear. Dee

Gwen: I find it so easy to cry especially since I spend a lot of time by myself, it is easy to let the tears fall. For me, it's a release as well as a motivation to keep going. Once the crying ends, I remind myself my husband would not want me to cry. He'd want me to "carry on". Today as I was purging through old files, (still downsizing!) I came across paperwork that represented our years of married life; many with my husband's signature. So, I let the tears flow and once I convinced myself I needed to finish chore I wiped the tears and got on with it. The emptiness is always with me, tears or no tears. I don't mean to minimalize your situation but we're all different in our situation and how we handle our emotions. There can't be a right answer. Would be good if there was some release for you, somehow or someway. Take care. Hugs, Dee