teny

I had to go to the hospital with my grandson thank god it was nothing wrong but going to the same place that Yiany died 10 months ago hurts to much >Today I have to go again >.My sister in law that is a great support is having an operation that is very serious.She does not want people to know how she strugles and has great courage.I just post today because Im loosing mine and every time that something goes wrong it seems like grief hits stronger and I can not control my self my tears and miss him sooo much.I need a friend that realy understands.Please pray for me GOD does not answer me and I can not find him .Do I have to go on? TENY

Lung cancer killed my husband Yiany but we only had 10 days since the cancer started and he died without goodby or I love you.I understand the unbearable pain you feel the I MISS HIM and the depression.For me it is 10 months and Im angry and jelouse of peoples regular lifes.I cant be of any help cause Im new in the journey .I hope for you and all of friends that sufferthe same pain to find some confort. TENY

Im sorry for your loss .I know that it hurts to much .I hurt to much also and realy can not be of any help .I just wanted to say that Im your wifes age and my husband Yiany that died 10 months ago was 72 .Yiany Died of cancer within 10 days ,WE did not have the time to say goodby and I dont remember one day that we dit not say I love you. Coming to this site helps alot .I live so far away in greece and the only support I found was here.I found your thoughts so close to mine especialy when you say you feel 20 years older.Maybe one day the pain will be easier.My thoughts to you. TENY

THANK YOU ALL OF YOU MY FAR AWAY FRIENDS I DO HOPE FOR BETTER DAYS FOR ALL OF US WHO SUFFER THE SAME PAIN> TENY

It is 10 months today and so hard to believe.All this months Im strugling for the choices I read in abook that I have.Choose to die choose to exist until die choose to live .I have no standert place where Ilive I go every night to another house driving long distances carieng my clothes in a suitcace. I think that Im loosing My mind .The only period that Ilived for 10 days in the same place was when my son and his kids came with me at the summer house.When they had to go Igould not stay there alone.Yesterday my son told me that I can not understand that he is also grieving and that Ikeep posting here about my feelings to strangers and that my family is here and kares for me .Losing YIANY is the most devastating experienceof my life .I dont want to be Grief plus to my children.They blame me of loving their father more than Ilove them and nothing counts for me any more.The pain of loss is huge I have not mastered any of it.Im in huge dip.

Thank you so much for your reply and your conforting words.I was merried 40 years.Yiany died of cancer within 10 days He had no symtoms and it was so sudden Sunday the 2 is going to be 10 months.It is hard tohard.

I feel desperate and reading the post ofWalt c made me feel that there is no hope of ever geting easier >Waching TV with the news of all total catastrof around is like hell. Fire is under controll but what left behind is unbelievable.As I go back in memorie is also this time of the year that YIANY got the first cancer atack.That is steel hard to believe he is gone for ever.Yesterday by going to bed I thought that if I take more of my sleeping meds I gan go find him then my litle grandsun came and gave me a hug and I have no gourage of good by .I have no life and I do hate my new title Widow.Im not anybodys love Im not proud any more of being awomen that her husband was so much in love with her.WHY? There are so many couples that are not inlove and are together .WHY WHY WHY? TENY

Today I will not post for myself cause there is abig tragedy going on in Greece fire is burning aimost every village in the south of Greece. People are dead together with animals olive trees fields and every thing they own,The ancient city of Olymbia where the olymbic games started 3000 years ago was on fire My summer hose was on danger and you gould see the flames burning the houses and desperation around.In some places flames went until the sea and burned the umbrelas that were there for the shade.Today the wind is strong so there is litle that can be done ,I need you all my friends to pray for this tragedy.It is all over the CNN news.THis ads to much to my personal loss .I feel how litle can be done in natures act and GODS will.I will be back .I will visit my dr today. TENY

I do feel lost and desparate there are times I dont find reason to live.Itold all about my feelings tomy doctor and staring at me He asket Me if I realy trust him or do Ifeel that no body can help and Im alost cace?I told him that the reason Im vsiting Him is that Ifeel Ineed help .He said that Ishould think the way that he can help >What I do expect? I find no answer.I have to choose to go on in anew life that I dont like or no life atall.Maybe my friends from fear away can help? Thank you TENY

HI thank you for your caring and thinking about me your dream today gave me hope that maybe there is life that waits for me also .As iknow you are remaried why dont you try to be with the man that is now your husband and make the most of it? I realy wish for you the best I think you are acaring person so your new husband is lucky to have you.I will post soon TENY

HI DEREK Im glad for you that you found some understanding and support .As I know you are a young meh and life is there for yyou to enjoy as much as you can ;I believe tha keren would like to see you happy ,YOU replayed to my posts almost every time I needed support .I wish luck for you and your litle one and hope you will be here for us telling your good news.TENY

Deborah Patti Marty Karen Kayc Lorikelly .THANK YOU ALL for being there.My so called vacations lasted 4 days .I was with my children and could not feel joy .The island is beatiful but I only kept crying for my loss.I can not carry YIANY in my heart as MARTY says.I need him by my side to share my life my feelings my thoughts.I doknow I just exists and not being alive .In the boat coming back I was crying thinking that even going home home is not there any more and nobody is waiting for me. maybe YIANY is waiting for me and most of the time is where I want to go .It is dificult not to have alife of your own and depend on your children.I feel Ican not give and reaseive love even from my children.It hurts so much to realise that the life y ou knew is over and and you have to axcept alife you dont like or no life I need your help and advise why is it geting harder as time goes by/?.

IM going away for some days. I dond know if Im doing the right thing .MY son and his family are going to an island and il be with them .It is a strange feeling to be alone not to have alife of your owne and have to depend on your children.Getting ready to go I miss YIANY so much imiss my life.and find no reason in doing anything alone I just can not belieave itsme who is going thru this I wish to wake up and find the life I left.THere are times that i think that if Idie it will be less sufering.I will miss your support.I hope I will find some postings when I return. TENY

My doctor today told me that I have to take the andidepresends <He said that I have to choose if I want to live or if I want toget sick and dye also.Has any of you got any help by taking the drugs recomented/?For me it is geting worst every day It is like Im now realising that My life is never going to be the same and I just dont know if I want that lonely life.It is the first summer without my love and the end of the world came for me.My son told me that he can understand the way I feel but I can not understand that he also hurts loosing a loving father so sudden.It was like he opened a door and going away without saying good by.So many words unspoken so many questions with th no answers I wish my english was better so I could expres myself more. TENY

TOday I was driving to work crying all the way. It happens all the time that Im alone and hear musik or remembering so many years of love we shared.I was so depresed and when icame to this site and found some answering to my sorow gave me confort.There are times I find no reason to live life is emty and I panic in the thought that Iwill never have Yiany again in my side to hold hands to be together for better and for worst.HOw can I go on ?Some of you say it will get better.For me it is getting harder as time goes by.My friends say I was lucky to have His love but when you loose it is it worthed to stay in this world with so much pain?

It is 9 months today and I cant believe Im alive without YIANY .I keep calling the answering machine to hear his recordered voice.Tears are on my eyes all the time and my nights are sleeples.I keep surching for him on his side of our bed.I get up not believing this is true.I light a gandle today only because he believed so much in God. I lost my faith God did not answer my prayers.He took YIANY away from me in a world so emty.

IM so sorry for your loss I can not be of any support byt just let you know that Im a broken heart also I lost my husbant sudenly HE entered the hospital for exams and before the tests were out He died of cancer within 10 days .It is cruel and I know how you feel numb with no answer.It is a great help this site .Alot of people that sufer the same pain and are more advanced with there grief are helping.TENY

HI Gail IM TENY Im sosorry for your loss Irealy know how it feels I lost the love of My life 9 months ago I realy dont know why GOd separates loving couples,I just dont know how to give you confort beacause Idit not find yet myself,I only want you to know that I think of you.

I THANK you for answering so many times to my gread sorrow By saying that Iwould prefer to have a lot of broblems and have Yiany .I meant that I could face every thng by having Yiany.YOUr FRIEND from far away TENY

A friend called me to say hellow and starting complaning about her broblems loosing her credit card having to by new shoes having to get up early for her vacation.I felt like crying and Iwanted to tell her how luky she is to have her husband and this kind of broblems.I feel so emty and lonely especialy the weekend and I realy wish Ihad alot of other problems if only Icould have MY Yiany with me.I miss him so much I never thought THAT UNTIL DEATH DO US PART will feel that way it hurts hurts hurts. TENY

DEREC IM in the stage that as you say Im definitely lost but reading your post doday made me feel maybe I can survive.It is a blessing tha I found you pe ople.Keep strong so that you give some of your strength to us that need it. TENY

thank you all for your support .I feel I need the courage Itake from this site .Until the time comes that Icanpray again PLEASE PRAY FOR ME.I also wish that Icould meet each one of you my far away friends Iwich that we could meet in a happier sircumstace.and tha it was not to share so much pain. TENY

thank you all so much it is the only thing tha keeps me going .Every dayI read your postings and try to find confort from far away love and care .Until the time comes that I will start praying again PLEASE PRAY FOR ME teny .

i READ THE BOOK THAT WAS RECOMENTED .as THE SECRET SAYS IF YOU WANT SOMETHING IN A POSSITIVE WAY IT WILL COME TO YOU .tHERE WAS NOTHING MORE I WANTED THAN YIANY TO GET WELL.h HE WAS THINKING POSSITIVE AND TOLD ME THAT GOD GAVE HIM SOMETHING MORE DIFICULT MY LOVE.IKEPT PRAYING UNTYL I LOST FAITH THE ONLY ONE THAT SURVIVED IS ME TO FEEL THE EMTY LONELY LIFE WHAT IS THE POSSITIVE THAT I CAN NOW EXPECT/?LIFE IS NEVER GOING TO BE HAPPY AGAINTHIS IS THE FIRST HOT LNELY DESPERATE SUMMER WITHOUT MY LOVE SO THE SECRET DID NOT ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS IN FACT I LOST HOPE TENY.

Karen I understand the feeling only Ithought it was me that had this terrible emtiness because it has not been so long that I lost YIANI. Im so sorry you feel that way.You were asupport for me when Istartet this site and I hope with all my heart that you be strong again .Unfortunatly we are so far away WE could be more of support to each other.Take care . your friend from far away TENY