rosanne

Neicey, I too lost my precious mother- my sister, my best friend- all rolled into one- the night she took her last breath, part of me died with her, and I am forever changed- I think of all of the things she and I did together -now, I do alone. I feel your pain... You have come to a safe place to fall. There are some great people on here, we are where you are. Life just does not seem fair... there is no reasoning. Just know that you do have people that care about you and want to help. Love, Rosanne

I agree with you Shell. Feel what you feel and be o.k. with it. One minute you will cry.... be angry the next... and not want to get out of the bed the next day... it is all part of it. There are still days I have to force myself to do things. I painted my bathroom this week-end and normally I would jump on in there and paint, because I do like to do things like that, instead I layed down and took a 2 hour nap and then got up and tackled it, did I really want to do it after I bought the paint and rollers, no..... at that moment I would have paid whatever for someone to do it for me, but when I finally got in there and did it, I think it did make me feel a little better, it was a project that I needed! I found myself thinking about mom a lot while painting, what is so strange about me I can think of something now, that I somehow forgot???? I remember her trying to tell me something.. and she was to the stage you could not understand anything she was saying- and I told her mom there is nothing left to say, except I love YOU......

My heart aches for anyone of you who has lost a mother- mine has been gone for 8 months, now. There is nothing you can think or feel that we all have not felt from time to time. I think about my mom in the grave all of the time. I also kissed her many times at the funeral and held her hand.... I don't think there is any right or wrong.. it is just to get through the moment. I think everyone is a little crazy, anyway- you would have to be to even be able to go through what you do on earth. My heart goes out to you all. There is not a day that goes by that my mom is not in my thoughts through out the day... I miss her now as much as ever. Rosanne

Shell- I agree... and everytime you see them you have these thoughts..... and you can not help yourself. This is the part that makes no sense and I do not think we will ever have an answer, I really don't. Rosanne

Martin, I am sorry for your loss. My mom died of cancer 7 months ago, and I am a caregiver to a my father that is an invalid. I never thought my life would turn out this way. Life is not fair, but you have to keep on going. It takes a lot of time to go through the grieving and I know I am just taking baby steps to some here, but I think we all know how each other feels and it helps so much to vent to someone that knows. Please, come back often, I promise you it will help you. Rosanne

Drew- I know exactly how you feel... I have been there and am still there. My mom loved life, why did she have to die so young??? Why did yours??? It makes no sense, how can something good come out of that? Rosanne

Wendy- you are in my thoughts and prayers- my mom went through chemo. and radiation, it is a road with highs and lows but, you will see it through Rosanne

Debbie, I too am very sorry to hear about your news, they are doing so much with that now, it is unreal! One day at a time that is all we have... We are here for you, as you well know. My brother and I got into an argument yesterday, he stated that he does as much for dad as I do and it made me so mad.... I spend an avg. of 16 to 24 days a month with him plus if you put it all together I have been staying at my parents house for over a year now, because I did not leave mom's side when she was sick except to work.. and only because I had to do that. It just came to me last night, I was out looking at the sky and saw only one star and thought it could be mom... and it just came over me It really does not matter who does what, I have two brothers and they help and that is all that matters, why stress myself out with figuring how much time is spent- we need to take care of dad and that is that. I too have not felt my mother like I thought I would. That makes me sad Rosanne

I must confess, I have been very stressed lately- to the point I think I may go to the doctor tomorrow, I just don't feel good, and I have a pain between my shoulder blades that has really been nagging at me for a long time- My dad took a shower without closing the shower curtain the other night- so can we say- crazy......

DoubleJo Thinking of you- one day at a time that is all we have, I have to take things a lot slower as I am sure you know what I mean when I say that. I pray you will find happiness again. Rosanne

Shell & AnnieO, You are doing exactly what your heart is telling you to do- I am so proud of you, but like you have always told me, take time for YOU! You are a great person, and she does not know how lucky she is to have you as a TRUE friend! I think it helps in a small way to feel needed... sometimes it is irritating. Like last night, I did not want to be at dad's... I was of course, and then I felt so darn guilty for those feelings.. Annie, sometimes I have guilt with dad, like I am not taking the best care of him, which I am doing the best I can but when you try to keep two households going it is all you can do to keep your pantry and refrigerator full... I know I am letting my house go and that makes me sick- I live in a very small town and really do not know anyone that I would trust to clean... I like everything clean and orderly and I surely do not have that now... You did the best you could at the time, always know that. Keep your heads up, girls...... We are made of good stock. Love Rosanne

Gail, I am happy for you.... how blessed we still are, even though we are sad. I have two and they bring sunshine to me on a rainy day... Rosanne

AnnieO I thought of you so much... my heart went out to you during the holidays, it was so hard with it being mom... my brothers and I took pictures with dad and I thought will this be the last Christmas with him??? So many uncertainess in life, you know? I can only imagine your feelings. It is still so hard being a caregiver to dad- I feel like I am burning out- trying to keep two households going... grocery shopping, cleaning just everything!! He will not leave his home and I know of no one around that cleans for the public. Just wanted you to know that you have been in my thoughts, along with my buddy Shell, Lorikelly!! Love, Rosanne

Dear Shubom, I don't deal well with that. People would say have a Merry Christmas, and I want to say what in the ---- are you talking about! My mother just died, how am I going to have a Merry anything....... Are people so unfeeling that they just don't get it?? You are right, we are here for each other and I guess, that is all we can count on. I just hope and pray that when I have friends that go through what I have gone through, I will be more considerate and show them. Rosanne

Happy New Year, to each and every one of you.... Many thanks, for all of your support and kindness shown to me, you have been the best! Rosanne

Did you feel you had support from family and friends through the holidays?

Teny, We love you! We will all get through the holidays- one more to go New Year's- there is not a holiday that my mom was not with me.... I miss talking to her and sharing things with her- I even talked out loud to her and answered the way I knew she would- we were so close, we knew what the other one was going to say before it was said. It has been very hard for me as I know it has for you. I wish us all PEACE......... Rosanne

Gail, Congratulations! I am so happy for you. My daughter has also been trying for 2 years to have a baby and no luck. Going to a specialist now. My mom was german, and she wanted her to have a baby so bad, she whispered a german name in her ear before she died, so she has the name picked out if it is a girl... Love, Rosanne

To all on this forum- I feel your pain.... This has been the hardest time for me, I thought a couple of times I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I had three complete melt downs and cried my eyes out! I am back at work now, so maybe I can focus on other things. I did not know the holidays were going to be sooo terrible! It makes you not want to go on. When I looked at my dad, so dependent on my brothers and me, so sad looking like a little lost puppy- I could not imagine his pain! I cooked and did what I could not for us ,not for mom -but, for my dad- we know not what the future holds for any of us! Love, Rosanne

Well, I made it through one of the worst times of my life! I have been off from work for 5 days, and I know I had 4 melt downs, just could not take it, a couple of times I thought I was going to have a nervous break down... I thought of my family here and prayed for you all. Thanks for all your encouraging words. Love, Rosanne

Thanks, Shell! You have been such a big help to me, you just don't know. I will be signing off today and will be back after Christmas... I pray that you will have peace- I pray we can all have a little peace in our hearts... this will be my first Christmas without my angel mom. Love, Rosanne

I am so sad... I think that is what hurts the most, your joy is gone and you feel so sad all of the time. I lost my mom in June of this year and we are trying to take care of my dad, who is in a wheelchair, it is so hard.... to care for someone when you can not care for yourself, I don't really feel like I have gone through the process like I should have. I am so sad.... my heart is broke. I am trying but I just don't know. Thanks you all!! YOU DO MAKE SUCH A DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE! Rosanne

Haley, I lost my mom in June of this year- and my whole life has been tossed about! I like you know exactly how you feel- my heart is broken and I will never be the same. I just want the holidays to be over- I do have grandchildren and two children and I guess that is what keeps me going when I do not want too. My mom was and always will be my best friend!! I miss her so much Shell- I did put up a small tree. God Bless us all! Rosanne

LoriS, What a sweet story.... that was sent to you as a gift during a very special time in your life. Thanks for sharing Rosanne

Linda, I lost my mom June 10th of this year- the pain is so hard, sometimes I can not stand it... My heart goes out to you. Please, keep coming to this sight there are so many wonderful friends here, I feel like we are a family. Love, Rosanne