rosanne

Dear Kay, All I can say about your story is God Bless You! You are a true friend! The Lord used you to minister to your friend and that you did.

In the same situation, as the two of you... 3 months ago my whole life changed when I lost my mom.... Dawn, Shell is right, stress can cause so many problems, I still don't know how to let mine go. You feel sad and lost all of the time and still have to deal with day to day problems, and try to work- it is so hard. I think of you two so often even on the week-ends, wondering how you all are doing. I do sleep, but I am also on meds. and I will tell you one thing, my family does not like that I am on them, I did not take them for a week and they were giving them to me, I do not think I could function without them. The holidays ahead, I can't even think about them........ I want to go into isolation! I have also lost friends through this, I do not understand their actions? WE are here for each other. I am sorry about your car, but so thankful you were not injured! We all have a heavy burden to carry, maybe it won't be quite so heavy with support from each other! Thank You, for your support

Shell, Thanks for your sweet e-mail. I understand exactly what you are saying, about what people "that do not know" what you are going through will say, and they do not know how utterly stupid they sound! I got dad home last night, checked on him at lunch (I work about 5 minutes from his and my house) and he was not feeling well... I will stay with him probably through the week-end, I just do not want to leave him like that..... Understand? Tomorrow is my daughter's birthday she will be 25, she has been such a blessing to me through my grief process sometimes, I think I put too much on her- she loved my mom sooooo and is so crazy about my dad! Thanks!!

I have been away for awhile. My husband had hip replacement surgery. We were in a hospital about 2 hours from our home. When I drove into our home town from his hospital stay-the tears started.... My mom died as most of you know June 10th of this year and my dad is an invalid he depends totally on me an my brothers- For one solid week, I have been mad- thrown two fits toward my husband... and have cried uncontrolably.... I feel like I have had a complete set back!! I had to rush my dad to the hospital yesterday- he just can not get his breath- now I am thinking he may have panic attacks, I don't know.... I am so tired, and drained, and it just seems like bad things just keep on coming... I don't feel like there is any happiness left in this life for me. I miss my mom so much I could die.

Oh, I understand your feelings, because I too have them! I lost my precious mother at age 68 June 10th of this year. I have so many unanswered questions and I don't understand WHY???? My mom was so loving and loved her family so much, and I miss her so much I can die. I do believe in God, I do have faith- but, I do not understand why this has been put on me and my family- and my dad is an invalid! Sometimes I do not feel God I do not feel my mom, and that hurts! My husband said something to me the other day at mom's grave, I was crying and he said you know, you are going to be 50 years old this year and the way time flies, baby you are going to be with your mother before you know it! That gave me comfort, because time does seem to fly the older I get. I have no answers only know that my sweet mom does not have to struggle with day to day problems- she always wanted to fix everything, and you can't do it- There is a better place - THERE HAS TO BE!

Such a sweet story! God bless you!

I agree with Shell (hey Shell) I lost my mom in June- and I am not the same person I was when she was living. Your priorities change...... I want to be more to myself. I have withdrawn- I am not active like I once was. But, I have a friend that say's that is O.K. and for now it has to be. No one know's my feelings.. I want to be alone and soul search. I think you just get use to it- I don't know that there is such a thing as "getting over it"--- when I want to cry I cry.... I don't laugh much, I don't feel like laughing. There will be better days.... someday-

Poco, Sorry to hear about your lose. You are so very blessed to have had your mom for as long as you did. My mom died at age 68 and to me that is too young. She past away in June 07 I have been going through a lot of soul searching and am still carrying for an invalid father. I like to drive or set and not listen to the radio or t.v. and just think..... It is so hard, and the week-ends are terrible for me. I loved my mom more than anything in this world, she was my life. I really can not give much comfort other than say- you are at the right place. We will find peace one day!! All of us!

I pray, but not like I use to. Sometimes I feel like my prayers go unheard, I think it is still unbelief that it happened, mom had soooo many people praying for her- she wanted to live so bad! She said, You all need me- OH! God! DO WE NEED HER...... I am being forced to be a changed person and have a changed life, and I DO NOT LIKE IT! I want my mom back.

Feel a little better knowing I am not the only one.. I feel so robotic and so drained and tired, like if I could just lay down I could sleep forever... I think a lot of it is the mental stress.... I am constatly thinking about my situation, my sweet mom, my mind never has a silent thought or no thought at all........ I am making a lot of mistakes, also..... I am not focused.

Tenderheart, I lost my precious mother June 10th of this year, my life is forever changed! Grief is so hard and I feel as though I am in turmoil most days... It is good that we can come to a place where others share our pain and we can be there for each other! I pray for my friends on the this sight, and think of you all often, especially the week-ends.

Thanks for sharing that with us. I have often watched geese do this- and thought how wonderful God is, that he instilled that in them. A very good example. Thank You

I want to hear her voice--------------------------I feel like she just vanished and I do not feel that closeness that we had!!! Why of why can't I have that????????

I know this is going to sound crazy- but, true.. My mom was my worst critic- if I wore something new she would give me her opinion- I hated that then, but now- I can't stand not having it!!! If she liked or did not like the way I cut my hair she would tell me..... I MISS THAT!!

Did not have a good week-end at all.... Starting the week staying with dad.... I am tired- He has his mind, but dad as good hearted as he is is very selfish, my mom was never that way....she always put herself last. He sleeps during the day and wants to stay up at night-then he won't go to bed until 12:00 p.m. I can not sleep with the T.V. being up so loud- I keep telling him to turn it down.............. Any suggestions?

Annie, I am so glad that the house closing went well. I have been thinking of you and continue to do so... Just being there- is enough. Praying for YOU

Annie, Thinking of you!!!! Let us know how things are with you.

I know exactly how you feel, this has nothing to do with my mom's death. But, my mother-in-law had alzheimer about 6 years ago- and we pretty much knew she had it by the way she was acting- my sister-in-law, kept on calling us and wanting her mother to see a specialist and be diagnosed for alzheimer's-which we really did not see what that would help, because it would change nothing! We gave in and took her to a specialist and she and her husband met us at the doctor's office, and the doctor diagnosed her as having it- that very night- she called my husband and said I just wanted to let you know I took a 20,000 dollar CD out of mom's account............... My husband and I took care of his mother by ourselves until that lady died, his sister did not want to be involved in picking out her clothes to be buried in nothing- she told me to take care of it!!!! We had to use our money on a lot of the things for his mom- because she lived 4 years after she was diagnosed- and there was no contact with his sister at all until she died. We do not speak to this day.

Love those pictures!! I know what you mean about your friends distancing themselves, what is all of that about anyway??? Do they not know what to say so they just say nothing.... I don't get that!! It makes me angry, I have really been disappointed in people and the way they react to me since' my mom passed away June of this year. You are never alone- always, remember you have friends here, that know what you are going through- and we are all here to share our thoughts, and feelings- I have even read some that I had and felt better to know that someone else had them too.

Oh, how I understand your feelings. I lost my mom June 10th of this year, and God I wish I could die, too. She was mom/best-friend/sister all wrapped up into the sweetest most beautiful person you would ever meet. I too have children and grandchildren they do bring me joy, still- but, for right now they are about the only thing that does. I can't give you advice, only to say- take it one day at a time! I too want to dream about my mom, but have not- and that makes me sad, because we were so close- I think everyone else in the family has. She is the first thought of my day and the last thought of my day..........

Shell, When you made the statement about being mad about others still living- oh! how I could relate to that. I do not go out much, anymore- for one thing my crying can hit at any moment and I do not feel like being in public and starting..... But, I had gone to Cracker Barrel, with my family- and I found myself looking around and every lady in that place that was mom's age or older, I hated....... I had thoughts, like HOW CAN YOU STILL BE LIVING AND MY PRECIOUS MOM IS GONE....... I got up and went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out- people lauging and having a good time---------- it made me sick to my stomach! I have never been mad at mom, though- and I never will- it was not her choice to leave us, she told me many times You all need me, oh!! she just did not know how much.

Annie, God Bless YOU! One step at a time- One day at a time, do not look any further- this is all we have anyway. I know your feelings- my mom was so sick and asked me to help her to please, not let her suffer- and what did I do called Hospice to start coming in, I still question myself on this... but, there was no other choice- I could not make her better. If love could have saved her she would have lived forever. Praying for you!

Chuckles, My heart goes out to you. I lost my precious angel mother June 10th of this year. I am also on a roller-coaster ride. Keep coming to this sight, it will help you.. God Bless YOU!

Erika- I am so sorry about your loss. My mom died of p. cancer June 10th of this year, my world has not only been rocked- I don't even fill whole anymore. I love the Lord and I know everything we should feel and believe but, I also have gone through and still am times that I feel God is not there- mom is not there. We just have to trust and have faith- this is just a temporary home for us our loved one's are in their permanent home waiting for us to come HOME.

Thanks, Marty!